Couch Surfing is FUCKED UP.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:03 AM GMT
    So I'm in New York right now, after deciding to try CouchSurfing and travel here doing that. I'd heard so many wonderful things about it left and right, how awesome a cultural experience it is, the best way to travel, meet new people and make friends for life yadda yadda.

    I meet my CouchHost, he seems nice enough. We go to the park, we out to dinner to some awesome Thai place. He starts making subtle passes at me during dinner, complimenting me and stuff. I tried to just be gracious about it, "Oh thank you, you're sweet he he". I'd been told that sexual hooking ups were completely verboten for Couch Surfing, considering how important it is for the the surfers to feel safe in the strange new environments where they're staying.

    We get back to his place, he makes me a gin and tonic. A strong one. We're chatting, having a good time, he starts to touch my leg, my arm. I'm like uh ok. I'm generally a flirty person, I don't have a problem with these things. He makes me another drink, an even stronger one. At this point I'm kinda really loopy, at some point it just hits me hard. He keeps refreshing my drink, telling me to take bigger sips, telling me how I'm not finishing it fast enough. I'm fucking wasted at this point so I'm all ROFL SURE WHY NOT LOL.

    I can't really process what's going on at this point, and that's when he starts taking my clothes off. You can fill in the rest of what happened. And this morning I wake up feeling like shit because I did not want to do that.

    I'm I completely free of blame? No, I could have said I don't want another drink, thanks. I could have said hey man stop touching my leg. I could have said dude what the fuck stop taking my clothes off. But I was took drunk. And it sucks because he deliberately planned to get me drunk to take advantage of me like that.

    Thanks Couch Surfing. You're just PEACHY KEEN. -_-
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    Soooooo did you at least do it with a condom?

    Don't blame any application, blame the homosexual. If there's anything that has gays in it, the gays will always figure out a way to make it sexual. I mean...look at the Pope/Priest thing. You'd think that's the LAST place a homosexual would make it sexual, but noooooo they make it a sexual thing anyway.

    I never really understood this concept myself until I went 3 months without sex (that's REALLY long for me trust me). Since then I haven't been the same "hookups are fun" guy and I'm a total prudish Lesbian when guys hit on me.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    i'm drunk too don't worry.

    except i've been celibate since the hubby left in November so not too much the same.

    drink up. have fun. live life.

    love you.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:08 AM GMT
    running11 said

    drink up. Stop drinking. have fun. live life.


    Fixed just for Ariodante's current situation.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:08 AM GMT
    running11 saidi'm drunk too don't worry.

    except i've been celibate since the hubby left in November so not too much the same.

    drink up. have fun. live life.

    love you.


    ...I think you missed the point of this post.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    never. the point is oh well shit happens, move on. icon_smile.gif

    as long as you were safe of course.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON said
    running11 said

    drink up. Stop drinking. have fun. live life.


    Fixed just for Ariodante's current situation.


    And this icon_smile.gif thank you for fixing it lol
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jun 08, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    This is exactly why I have knife strapped to my thigh at all times.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    JP85257 saidThis is exactly why I have knife strapped to my thigh at all times.


    To murder people? icon_eek.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jun 08, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON said
    JP85257 saidThis is exactly why I have knife strapped to my thigh at all times.


    To murder people? icon_eek.gif

    That try shit like this dude pulled with Ario.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON said
    JP85257 saidThis is exactly why I have knife strapped to my thigh at all times.


    To murder people? icon_eek.gif


    Surprise knife buttsecks
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jun 08, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    JAKEBENSON said
    JP85257 saidThis is exactly why I have knife strapped to my thigh at all times.


    To murder people? icon_eek.gif


    Surprise knife buttsecks

    Nothing says "We aint fucking" like a knife pressed to a jugular.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:40 AM GMT
    JP85257 said
    Surprise knife buttsecks

    Nothing says "We aint fucking" like a knife pressed to a jugular.

    Or a rectum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidSo I'm in New York right now, after deciding to try CouchSurfing and travel here doing that. I'd heard so many wonderful things about it left and right, how awesome a cultural experience it is, the best way to travel, meet new people and make friends for life yadda yadda.

    I meet my CouchHost, he seems nice enough. We go to the park, we out to dinner to some awesome Thai place. He starts making subtle passes at me during dinner, complimenting me and stuff. I tried to just be gracious about it, "Oh thank you, you're sweet he he". I'd been told that sexual hooking ups were completely verboten for Couch Surfing, considering how important it is for the the surfers to feel safe in the strange new environments where they're staying.

    We get back to his place, he makes me a gin and tonic. A strong one. We're chatting, having a good time, he starts to touch my leg, my arm. I'm like uh ok. I'm generally a flirty person, I don't have a problem with these things. He makes me another drink, an even stronger one. At this point I'm kinda really loopy, at some point it just hits me hard. He keeps refreshing my drink, telling me to take bigger sips, telling me how I'm not finishing it fast enough. I'm fucking wasted at this point so I'm all ROFL SURE WHY NOT LOL.

    I can't really process what's going on at this point, and that's when he starts taking my clothes off. You can fill in the rest of what happened. And this morning I wake up feeling like shit because I did not want to do that.

    I'm I completely free of blame? No, I could have said I don't want another drink, thanks. I could have said hey man stop touching my leg. I could have said dude what the fuck stop taking my clothes off. But I was took drunk. And it sucks because he deliberately planned to get me drunk to take advantage of me like that.

    Thanks Couch Surfing. You're just PEACHY KEEN. -_-


    That's just wrong on multiple levels Ariodante!

    This guy sounds like a complete creep - in fact, I don't think "creep" is strong enough - but I'm kind of at a loss for words at his behaviour.

    Do you think he could have slipped you something? Given what you've shared, I wouldn't put it past him.

    I've hosted plenty in my place and yes, there's been the flirting and yes, there have been drinks - but this, good Christ no.

    I hope you have gotten or can get out of there mate - and I hope you give him what for before you go.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Jun 08, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear that, Ariodante.

    The important thing is you're still alive. And what happened to you does not diminish your commitment to celibacy. You're still aces in my book.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    congrats! you been date raped!

    i kid i kid
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    press charges for rape!



    j/k


    sorry for what happened. I know you didnt want to do it but you also know you didnt stop him from doing it and it was not forced. it doesnt sound all that bad all of a sudden. but yeah, a gay guy seems another gay guy and thinks of sex automatically.
  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    Jun 08, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    Hmm I thought this was about when you put wheels on a couch and ride it down a hill haha
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    Jun 08, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    Yeah- that was not cool, since alcohol lowers your inhibition, and to be honest- even though you're a beautiful, beautiful man, Ariodante- that move screamed desperate on his part, and he's a loser. Or a creep. Now, if you were surfing on my couch, and we were drinking, it wouldn't have lead to sex. Actually- we would have randomly drunk texted our friends while watching Mel Brooks.
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    Jun 08, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    Advaya said I know you didnt want to do it but you also know you didnt stop him from doing it and it was not forced. it doesnt sound all that bad all of a sudden. but yeah, a gay guy seems another gay guy and thinks of sex automatically.


    And you're absolutely right on that, I consented. I can't say this man raped me. It just sucks that he set up that situation, and he planned to from the start. When I first met him earlier that day he kept making jokes of "lol yeah I'll get you drunk". He's also like 35 years older than me. Age doesn't mean anything necessarily, but it's really not the same as some 27 year old giving me alcohol.
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    Jun 08, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidWhen I first met him earlier that day he kept making jokes of "lol yeah I'll get you drunk".


    At least he warned you ahead of time. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 08, 2011 4:37 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidSoooooo did you at least do it with a condom?

    Don't blame any application, blame the homosexual. If there's anything that has gays in it, the gays will always figure out a way to make it sexual. I mean...look at the Pope/Priest thing. You'd think that's the LAST place a homosexual would make it sexual, but noooooo they make it a sexual thing anyway.

    I never really understood this concept myself until I went 3 months without sex (that's REALLY long for me trust me). Since then I haven't been the same "hookups are fun" guy and I'm a total prudish Lesbian when guys hit on me.


    +1

    JB, if it’s one good thing, really good thing, about old age, it’s this: this crap actually stops happening. Ageism is great.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    Hellll no to couch surfing,that's just weird on so many levels.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 08, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    I can't blame anyone for wanting to put the moves on you, BUT, you took the drinks, you drank them, you let him undress you, etc. etc.

    He was wrong, but you should have said, "Stop."

    Did you learn that couch surfing is not the problem ?

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    Jun 08, 2011 5:03 AM GMT
    I've hosted and surfed many, many times in the past. I've been hit on a few times, but that's definitely not the majority. Was this your first surf?

    Please, PLEASE leave feedback for this guy on CS. Tell exactly what happened as a warning to others. You could have been his third or fourth (or 100th) person to do this to, and you would have known had any of them left feedback. And please don't think all of us are creeps like this guy. Some of us have hitchhiked our way across the country and relied on this project to afford it, and are honestly looking to help out the community. I've had mostly amazing experiences with it, and the rest were just okay. Sorry to hear you had a bad experience. icon_cry.gif