Would you tell us ??...

  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 08, 2011 4:31 PM GMT
    first i know this is not the right area to talk about this .. but i really like to post all my topics here in dating and relationship area...
    anyway ,, gays . i am accountant since one year only ,, i like my job and the company where i work .. have lots of good friends there,,
    but
    i wonder ,, being gay has a great effect on your job and on your relation with your colleages..
    for me ,.. i worked in the sea as a fisher man in the summer coz its a very hard and tough work , to prove myself and say that gays can do the hardest jobs ,,
    and after finishing my study travelled to kuwait for work only and i got promoted recently, its like i am challenging what has been saying about gays ...
    when i got high degree in the college i wanted to say that i am gay and proud to be
    even at work now, when i finish something and get any promotion from my boss, i would like to tell them i am gay and proud to be ,,
    what about you gays ,,

    gay and work,.. do you think being gay has something to do with your job??
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    Jun 08, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    It's who you are. You are very proud of who you are. Straight people being their straight to work, with pictures if their spouse, wedding rings, marriage talk, etc. You should be able to be yourself. Good for you. I'm openly gay at my job.
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 08, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    gymrat100 saidIt's who you are. You are very proud of who you are. Straight people being their straight to work, with pictures if their spouse, wedding rings, marriage talk, etc. You should be able to be yourself. Good for you. I'm openly gay at my job.


    you are right .,, even today i have been invited to a pretty small party , coz one our colleages has got a son ,,
    they always talk about their family and sometimes they speak about a personal details in family life ., i dont care about coming out these days,coz i am thinking of travelling to an open country ,, i would like to come out and enjoy more
    but its ok for now
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    Jun 08, 2011 4:54 PM GMT
    I'm never out at work. I just don't want to bump into that ceiling, so I make the personal decision not to tell anyone about it. People have biases and yeah that sucks, but I just want to work and get ahead. I'm not trying to change the world.

    I believe there are some places for being out. At work isn't one of them for me.
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    Jun 08, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    Who are you proving all this to? I don't think there's this 'us versus them' situation in my life but it seems to resonate with you. Gay people aren't disadvantaged (maybe in regards to certain religious views and social stigma which are taught), we are present in all social environments, so to think that you do certain things based on proving that you are just like everyone else makes me think that you see yourself as less than the people around you. There are gay fishermen that never had to prove themselves.

    I work in an adult store and my boss has said to me that because we are gay (all the staff are) we are good at dealing with all aspects of sexual issues because we aren't considered apart of the social norm so we are free to explore and discover things the 'average' person can't do and I don't necessarily agree with that. He also said that gay men don't just engage in anal sex because we're gay, it's because it feels good which is a good concept.
    I don't think I'm open minded because I'm gay, it's because I'm endlessly curious about our social boundaries/cultures and my own limits. I'd be the same person, would react the same way, if I were straight. Just my focus of attraction would steer a little differently. Does it help that I'm gay in relation to where I work? I don't think so but in saying that, I would get a lot less head from customers icon_biggrin.gif
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 08, 2011 5:19 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]jim_e said[/cite]Who are you proving all this to? I don't think there's this 'us versus them' situation in my life but it seems to resonate with you. Gay people aren't disadvantaged (maybe in regards to certain religious views and social stigma which are taught), we are present in all social environments, so to think that you do certain things based on proving that you are just like everyone else makes me think that you see yourself as less than the people around you. There are gay fishermen that never had to prove themselves.

    thank you for analysing my personality even i think you are criticizing me in a tough way, but let me tell you something
    for the difference between( us and we ).. i really dont understand what you mean , coz i am not a native english speaker to be able to manipulate using words...

    for saying that i feel less ,, i never did , you cant judge me while you live in a very open country , while me , oh you cant even live one day here, and you would prefere to die, rather than living in a society considers being gay is a complete weakness and loss.
    we cant ever judge pple unless we know the full story ..
    i just wrote this topic , to know how gays challenge everything not to get ctriticized
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 08, 2011 5:24 PM GMT
    shortguybeau saidI'm never out at work. I just don't want to bump into that ceiling, so I make the personal decision not to tell anyone about it. People have biases and yeah that sucks, but I just want to work and get ahead. I'm not trying to change the world.

    I believe there are some places for being out. At work isn't one of them for me.


    yeah ,, i do understand this ,. but sometimes being afraid to come out makes me feel like i am doing something wrong.. got it>>
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jun 08, 2011 5:29 PM GMT
    kemoze saidfirst i know this is not the right area to talk about this .. but i really like to post all my topics here in dating and relationship area...
    anyway ,, gays . i am accountant since one year only ,, i like my job and the company where i work .. have lots of good friends there,,
    but
    i wonder ,, being gay has a great effect on your job and on your relation with your colleages..
    for me ,.. i worked in the sea as a fisher man in the summer coz its a very hard and tough work , to prove myself and say that gays can do the hardest jobs ,,
    and after finishing my study travelled to kuwait for work only and i got promoted recently, its like i am challenging what has been saying about gays ...
    when i got high degree in the college i wanted to say that i am gay and proud to be
    even at work now, when i finish something and get any promotion from my boss, i would like to tell them i am gay and proud to be ,,
    what about you gays ,,

    gay and work,.. do you think being gay has something to do with your job??




    I think my sexuality has absolutely NOTHING to do with my job, nor should it. I also don't think my sexuality is fodder for discussion among my colleagues or with my clients. I make it a non-issue, and therefor I have never had my sexuality come up, or be an issue, in the work-place --- and I think that is as it should be. Make no mistake about it, I am in no way closeted or ashamed of my sexuality, but I don't throw it in people's faces either.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 08, 2011 5:33 PM GMT
    You define yourself by your sexuality... nothing wrong with that, but not my scene.

    My job and my sexuality are absolutely separate. I don't talk about my personal life with clients unless I know them well. I'm there to perform a professional service. Some of my staff know, but we don't discuss whether I'm gay, whether an assistant is divorced, etc. It is a professionally run establishment. I feel no need to prove myself in any way.... and if I do, it probably wouldn't be because I'm gay.
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    Jun 08, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    kemoze saidfirst i know this is not the right area to talk about this .. but i really like to post all my topics here in dating and relationship area...
    anyway ,, gays . i am accountant since one year only ,, i like my job and the company where i work .. have lots of good friends there,,
    but
    i wonder ,, being gay has a great effect on your job and on your relation with your colleages..
    for me ,.. i worked in the sea as a fisher man in the summer coz its a very hard and tough work , to prove myself and say that gays can do the hardest jobs ,,
    and after finishing my study travelled to kuwait for work only and i got promoted recently, its like i am challenging what has been saying about gays ...
    when i got high degree in the college i wanted to say that i am gay and proud to be
    even at work now, when i finish something and get any promotion from my boss, i would like to tell them i am gay and proud to be ,,
    what about you gays ,,

    gay and work,.. do you think being gay has something to do with your job??


    This.

    Well, I throw it in peoples faces. When we host company events I either bring chicks way to hot for a straight guy to bring, or guys way to ugly to be my friend.

    Everyone knows Im gay, but Im so fucking talented no one cares.

    They would rather have a good gay financial adviser then a bad straight one.



    I think my sexuality has absolutely NOTHING to do with my job, nor should it. I also don't think my sexuality is fodder for discussion among my colleagues or with my clients. I make it a non-issue, and therefor I have never had my sexuality come up, or be an issue, in the work-place --- and I think that is as it should be. Make no mistake about it, I am in no way closeted or ashamed of my sexuality, but I don't throw it in people's faces either.
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    Jun 08, 2011 5:36 PM GMT

    Considering you live in Egypt...just for starters... I would say NO.
    But even if you were in the UK or the U.S., your sexuality does NOT define the work you do. There are those who would hold it against you...and putting your job on the line is not worth the risk.
    Bottom line...except for your close friends and who ever you might be sleeping with...it NOBODY's business!!!
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 08, 2011 6:23 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidOnce a year I host a Gingerbread House decorating class for our co. and their immediate families. There's always about 4-6 couples that bring their gay or lesbian partner and just blend in with the rest. It makes me proud to see them participate with the rest! Same goes for our Holiday Open House a few weeks later. Some also have kids from a previous marriage or even adopted small children. Kudos to those folks!

    thank you for posting, i really learn a lot from such posts
    actually i am no longer confused since i started to check forums here
    thats why i want every body here to tell me about their work experience..
    just to learn from great gays here.., i do really care
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    Jun 09, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    I'm not criticizing you kemoze, I'm giving you my opinion on how what you wrote and posing questions to have a discussion on your topic. You didn't write that you come from a country that bans gays or something similar so it'd be helpful to understand where you're coming from.
    But I am still saying that if your society thinks gays are weak and you yourself don't think so but you go out to prove that you aren't weak by doing something that's considered masculine, then you're accepting your society's view that gays are weak. You may need to prove that gays aren't weak but the way you're doing it doesn't seem like a good way to go about it despite your intentions.
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    Jun 09, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    shortguybeau saidI'm never out at work. I just don't want to bump into that ceiling, so I make the personal decision not to tell anyone about it. People have biases and yeah that sucks, but I just want to work and get ahead. I'm not trying to change the world.

    I believe there are some places for being out. At work isn't one of them for me.


    i'm not at all criticising you for your choice... but i made the opposite choice... and for me, and i stress for me, it has been rewarding... i'm out at work, i'm a member of our diversity council, in a company that (although very recently) values diversity of all forms... it's never made a difference to my progression in the company or my pay, in fact we have str* guys (wrongly) complaining they aren't treated fairly... and by now you're thinking i work in a gay industry? no, i work in the construction industry! i'm not saying the 'pink ceiling' doesn't exist, it does! but if you can be out at work then it's a great thing!
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    Jun 09, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said

    What about social gatherings where employees come together and bring their spouses? To some it may be a bit deal, to others it is not.


    To almost all Egyptian people it would be a major affront for him to be openly gay at any of these functions. It's difficult for gay people in Europe and the U.S. to understand this level of oppression from the legal system all the way down to the family level. It's a hatred that permeates the culture. They see gay people (and other groups) as sub-human. Once you decided someone is not human you no longer have to care about them or what is done to them.

    You have a lot of courage for coming out in that kind of environment kemoze. You need to find yourself in all this and see where you fit in best. Maybe it's not in Egypt/Kuwait anymore?
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 10, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    adam228 said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said

    What about social gatherings where employees come together and bring their spouses? To some it may be a bit deal, to others it is not.


    To almost all Egyptian people it would be a major affront for him to be openly gay at any of these functions. It's difficult for gay people in Europe and the U.S. to understand this level of oppression from the legal system all the way down to the family level. It's a hatred that permeates the culture. They see gay people (and other groups) as sub-human. Once you decided someone is not human you no longer have to care about them or what is done to them.

    You have a lot of courage for coming out in that kind of environment kemoze. You need to find yourself in all this and see where you fit in best. Maybe it's not in Egypt/Kuwait anymore?


    yeah, thats why i have already put my plan,
    i am trying to travel and start all over again , i guess i have learnt enough and ready to live my real life and be the real me
    i am not thinking about travelling for sex, no , i just would like to feel comfortable,
    i am kind of successful guy here ,have graduated from the college , got hired , i didnt waste my time, i am now 22 , but i am so scared that some haters here may hold my sexuality against me , it really hurts when you live in a place where sexuality plays a big rule in the ones life
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 10, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    jim_e saidI'm not criticizing you kemoze, I'm giving you my opinion on how what you wrote and posing questions to have a discussion on your topic. You didn't write that you come from a country that bans gays or something similar so it'd be helpful to understand where you're coming from.
    But I am still saying that if your society thinks gays are weak and you yourself don't think so but you go out to prove that you aren't weak by doing something that's considered masculine, then you're accepting your society's view that gays are weak. You may need to prove that gays aren't weak but the way you're doing it doesn't seem like a good way to go about it despite your intentions.


    hay..,
    it was tough from you at first, really i got hurt from your first post,
    but that was when i was young , when i was a teenage , i was 16,17 ,18 . when i worked as a fisherman in summer ( maybe coz i like the sea as well )
    i was confused before, but now everything is clear for me
    i know exactly what i want
    i am so independent now, everything is ok for me , but before i was so scared,,, thats it