"You can become porn"

  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Jun 09, 2011 4:07 AM GMT
    To me, what's interesting about Weinergate isn't what happens to Weiner, which will be either a) he'll somehow weather this and hang on to his job or b) he'll go away for awhile and then either make a political comeback on an Eliot Spitzer-style one.

    What interests me are the signals it sends about where things stand -- or rather, don't stand, but are very much in flux -- in our culture with respect to virtual sex. Andrew Sullivan sums it up pretty nicely:

    In online sex chat, you can disaggregate yourself, figuratively dismember yourself, become a body without a head (or a mind), be a pair of strained underpants, or actually send a picture of your own Favre in seconds. You can become porn. You can enjoy many of the best parts of sex without any complicating emotion or relationship or accountability. And you will not get an STD.

    This is not real life. And you are not, in this interaction, a real or rounded person. You are a sexual avatar of sorts. You are your pecs; or your dick. Love is not the object here; "like" is.

    The online world creates an outlet for the feelings that sexual adultery or sexual adventure create - but without actual sex, without actual intimacy, without our actual full selves. For gay men, it's win-win - a harmless online playground where you flirt the hours away and never really get your feelings hurt and remain, as they say in the brutal jungle of online sex, "disease-free". For straight men, it's tougher to find willing partners who don't think you're creepy (most men and women are just wired differently in sexual matters), but still win-win until wives or girlfriends find out, and they do not see the virtual/real distinction. But, to my mind, the appeal of anonymity and of losing oneself in a virtual sexual encounter is so powerful and easily available it will never cease being popular. It's as irresistible a mindless outlet as bad television or Angry Birds - and much more interactive and addictive. You can even send pictures of people other than yourself and pretend to be utterly other. Does that make it better or worse? Discuss ...

    All I can say is that we're adjustng, slowly, and Weiner was a victim of this shift. Maybe more married or committed couples would do well to talk about it, set some rules, and make some preparation. Judging by the "shocked! shocked!" responses of some writers like Megan McArdle, there are a lot of conversations still to be had.
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    Jun 09, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    What if I already became porn?
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Jun 09, 2011 9:58 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidWhat if I already became porn?


    I thought you already became fetish to get around the hassles of becoming porn.