Be my test audience for my film.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2011 6:46 AM GMT
    Going into production on a 30-min short film about misfortune that follows two intense artist after a misunderstanding. Their relationship is ambiguous but in the film it's pretty clear what kind of relationship they really had.

    I'm the creator/writer/director of this film, and also I appear in the teaser.

    Question is: does the teaser hold your interest, and is it intriguing enough for you to want to see more, once it's released? Any other comments and questions are welcomed.

    I'll also post this exact thread in the 'arts & entertainment area also, just in case you happen to see it there.

    and don't forget to turn on your speakers:-)

    thanks.


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    Jun 09, 2011 12:51 PM GMT
    I'm sorry, but from watching the trailer, I have no clue about what this film is about, or the need for the audience to see the "screenplay". So no, I don't really want to see it.

    For example of discontinuity for me, I remember reading something about "beautiful, demure, etc" from a screenplay image and then seeing an image of a squirrel... I was like WT!@?#!@#... that just threw me.

    Usually what makes any story "interesting" is dramatic conflict... perhaps some more obvious elements of this sort, and juxtapose the more artsy stuff as "transitions" between emotional beat to emotional beat. Map out the emotional arc thru this trailer, maybe that might help. Just thinking off the cuff here...
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    Jun 09, 2011 1:00 PM GMT
    Nice music video...
  • Ironman4U

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    Jun 09, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    I agree with Terra Firma. I liked the imagery/cinematography and the music but it seemed more like a music video then a trailer for a film. Usually in a film trailer, you get snippets of scenes with some dialogue so you get a sense of the characters and the joy, angst, conflict, etc. that they are dealing with. Because there is no dialogue shared, there is no real hints about the characters other than a few innocuous looks...therefore, there is no empathy or interest created for the viewer "to want to know what happens."
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    Jun 09, 2011 1:48 PM GMT
    I read the first comment then watched the video hoping to find something to prove it wrong... Strange the comments all seem to state it's a music video... I felt the same way when I watched it then read the comments and thought "shit, unoriginal comment (from me) coming up now"... as a complete amateur I have few comments to help so I'll say what I can... I liked it, really liked it, but it didn't make me want to see a film, it just didn't look like a film short... maybe it could be more punchy, like speed up an action sequence within the short that gives a little more about the film contents, a series of still shots or something?... the comment about needing to feel empathy with the characters also rang true to me... i didnt't feel like i knew anything about them that would endear them to me... i needed you to start a story 'that i just had to watch to see the whole thing'... well that's my comments for what they're worth... everyone's a critic right? icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 09, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    I enjoyed it. My brain added things up as I watched it and listened to that pretty cool soundtrack for the film.

    It looks like an interracial romance between two guys, one who has a wife or girlfriend and their relationship comes apart when he tells her about his feelings.

    I think the plot should have been hinted at a little more obviously.

    The trouble I had personally with this teaser were some of the cameo shots of people that didn't seem to take me anywhere. The other distraction were the script shots, which I can see being in there if you are trying to sell the film to a studio, but was rather lost on me.

    In all, pretty good stuff.

    -Doug

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    Jun 10, 2011 1:09 AM GMT
    TerraFirma saidMap out the emotional arc thru this trailer, maybe that might help. Just thinking off the cuff here...


    Okay...thanks TerraFirma:-)
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    Jun 10, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
    76coopers saidwell that's my comments for what they're worth... everyone's a critic right? icon_smile.gif


    And 76coopers -

    and your comments were/are highly welcomed. that's the purpose of placing this thread up here is to get an idea of views and opinions. Thanks for watching guys. I'll make some other changes, and yes, I was questioned once before about the squirrel. haha
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    Jun 10, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    meninlove said I enjoyed it. My brain added things up as I watched it and listened to that pretty cool soundtrack for the film.

    It looks like an interracial romance between two guys, one who has a wife or girlfriend and their relationship comes apart when he tells her about his feelings.


    Doug -

    that is/was very astute of you. Yes, it's an interracial romance, and paranormal drama. I don't want to give to much of the story away, but you're kinda spot-on about the story. Glad you liked it. The true back story about the female is something that will be revealed in the film. I've not gone into principle photography yet, so the above teaser (not trailer) is to generate any opinions to make it better.

    thanks for your thoughts:-)

    Terry TL
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    Jun 10, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    i think the photos seemed out of place because of picture quality and not sure why you were showing the photo either.

    some of the shots i liked a lot and came off as artistic like you intended.

    i've done shorter versions of this, minus the story, sometimes it just doesn't come out the way you pictured it in your mind. (i was just making somewhat random art videos)
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 10, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    Lenoxx said Nice music video...




    What music ? It was a monotonous chant.

    And, I agree with "TerraFirma" on the content of the video.
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    Jun 10, 2011 3:20 AM GMT
    rosco87 saidi've done shorter versions of this, minus the story, sometimes it just doesn't come out the way you pictured it in your mind. (i was just making somewhat random art videos)


    Thanks Rosco87 -

    Yeah, you know what it's like:-) The stills are pictures of the other actors that are to be in the film. Out of 100% of the test footage shot, 90% of it was lost by the cameraguy, which left me with only 10% to work with. It was not a happy day for me when he told me that he'd lost or accidentally deleted most of the footageicon_sad.gif

    So I used what I had, and place stills of the other actors because I didn't want to leave them out, nor the heart to have them re-shoot everything again, and when I think of the shots my CM lost, it still makes me upset but, I'll know better next time once we actually to into principle photography.

    My other biggest thing is finding someone who's an really good with adding visual effects over the images - as I'd wanted. But then again, I'm reminded of the ghetto, haha lol, manner in which George Lucas made his first Star Wars film, "A New Hope."

    His journey gives me hope also.
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    Jun 10, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    Webster666 said
    Lenoxx said Nice music video...




    What music ? It was a monotonous chant.


    Yeah, I love the song too, and feel it works with the 'teaser.' Their name is Elle Lefant, and the song is called "Runaway." I'm still in the process of contacting them too, so that they may see the 'teaser.'

    thanks Webster666
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    Jun 10, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    Appreciating your input guys. I guess I'll make this thread my 'blog' to keep you all up to date on the development of the film, and about the cast and crew.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    "Story" by Robert McKee.

    The seminal text on writing screenplay.
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    Jun 10, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    Award8 said
    rosco87 saidi've done shorter versions of this, minus the story, sometimes it just doesn't come out the way you pictured it in your mind. (i was just making somewhat random art videos)


    Thanks Rosco87 -

    Yeah, you know what it's like:-) The stills are pictures of the other actors that are to be in the film. Out of 100% of the test footage shot, 90% of it was lost by the cameraguy, which left me with only 10% to work with. It was not a happy day for me when he told me that he'd lost or accidentally deleted most of the footageicon_sad.gif

    So I used what I had, and place stills of the other actors because I didn't want to leave them out, nor the heart to have them re-shoot everything again, and when I think of the shots my CM lost, it still makes me upset but, I'll know better next time once we actually to into principle photography.

    My other biggest thing is finding someone who's an really good with adding visual effects over the images - as I'd wanted. But then again, I'm reminded of the ghetto, haha lol, manner in which George Lucas made his first Star Wars film, "A New Hope."

    His journey gives me hope also.


    i've never been a star wars guy but i think i know what you're saying. you might be able to do it yourself, it can take some serious time to learn some of those programs though.
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    Jun 10, 2011 4:53 AM GMT
    Soooooo, the black dude was with the white dude who likes chicks too! and he wanted to kill him. It's about love lost?icon_sad.gif
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    Jun 10, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    djohn767 saidSoooooo, the black dude was with the white dude who likes chicks too! and he wanted to kill him. It's about love lost?icon_sad.gif


    i think it's about a closet case who has a lot of hatred in him (hence the knife)
  • zenmonkie

    Posts: 228

    Jun 10, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    Being a fellow film maker it's always good to check out what other people are up to.

    I did have a few problems with it, the majority of which have already been mentioned. It's too long for one, you could easily cut half of it and it would be more effective. Also it didn't generate any interest in me to actually see it because nothing actually happens aside from one too many longing glances, and I have no idea what it's supposed to be about. I would say try to highlight the conflict more and show more of who your characters are. As far of your shots go I would say try to remember to add some depth in. It makes for much more interesting compositions if you have a foreground, mid, and background.
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    Jun 10, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    djohn767 saidSoooooo, the black dude was with the white dude who likes chicks too! and he wanted to kill him. It's about love lost?icon_sad.gif


    LOL haha Djohn you're also so close to the story (plot) but I can't give it away.

    but to give you guys more info about the film itself, here's the site:
    http://www.letusstartnow.com

    now again, I'm working on the visual effects on the next go round of the next teaser (which is not in the present teaser above), or the trailer.
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    Jun 10, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    rosco87 said
    djohn767 saidSoooooo, the black dude was with the white dude who likes chicks too! and he wanted to kill him. It's about love lost?icon_sad.gif


    i think it's about a closet case who has a lot of hatred in him (hence the knife)


    well you see, the teaser is giving up a clue:-) There will be one scene in the film that will raise a lot of eye-brows, between a salacious Vampire-like character and a very hot boy. What the two actors will be doing will go beyond the normal on-screen sensual scene.
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    Jun 10, 2011 7:19 AM GMT
    zenmonkie saidBeing a fellow film maker it's always good to check out what other people are up to.

    I did have a few problems with it, the majority of which have already been mentioned. It's too long for one, you could easily cut half of it and it would be more effective.


    Something I will do on the final teaser Zenmonkie. good input also. And it'll be scaled down some more.
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    Jun 10, 2011 7:39 AM GMT
    Pretty good, I had to watch it like 3 times to get it though. I think it's about the guy in a relationship with the woman but really wants to start a relationship with the other guy? Am I right??
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    Jun 10, 2011 9:09 AM GMT
    What is the name of that song???, Who sings????.......I Like It! btw good luck!... your film appears to be very personalicon_smile.gif
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    Jun 10, 2011 9:28 AM GMT
    @ Black Cat - well....kinda sorta. The female, I have to keep her identity anonymous:-)

    @ Philip - the song is called "Runaway" by Elle Lefant. and thanks for you comments:-)