So, What Are You Into???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2008 7:10 PM GMT
    OK Guys, I need some feedback/thoughts on this…

    Having not been "out" for much more than a year and spending much of that "in" a marriage, I'm bewildered by this way to common question: "So, what are you [i]into?"

    The first time I was asked this, I replied “Well I like snowboarding in the winter, watching college football, jogging, wakeboarding and boating, Interior Mexican foods, cooking, and a reality show junkie.” Obviously the response I got blew my mind cause I was WAY off base in terms of what this question was really asking. “NO”, he wrote back quickly and with a tone of frustration, “What are you into SEXUALLY?” This caught me so off guard I didn’t know how to respond.

    My first impression was what does that mean - into sexually – isn’t sex, sex??? But the more I thought about it, and the unending more times I got asked, the more irritated I got. Back when I was dating girls, I NEVER asked them what they were “into” sexually, EVER! In fact, I must say the idea not once crossed my mind to ask. If she tried to do something I was not comfortable with (which wasn’t much I admit) I would just say something or make a gesture, same went for the girl.

    Now I know sex between two dudes is not as simple. But there seems to be this fixation on whether you’re a top or bottom. Personally, I don’t get that either. I’m not “into” either, I just like sex with a man! So if I feel like getting fucked, I do it. If I feel like fucking, then that’s what I’m “into” at that moment. Regardless, I’m not “into” any sexual position or kinky habits, I just like great sex as any twentysomething dude would. So if someone asks me “So, what are you into?” and I respond “Fucking, sucking, touching, kissing, licking, nibbling, rubbing”, what value is this providing in getting to know me better??? Do some guys just like to lick, but no kissing, sucking or rubbing? I honestly don’t get it.

    Urgh, I feel like I’m venting but it’s really not that. I guess this rant is founded in the rationale for why guys have been asking me the “What are you into?” question as an opener. It’s happened well over 2 dozen times in the past 6 months and I’ve just started ignoring it. I can’t and don’t respond. My guess is that this question is posed mostly by those looking for a quick sexual hookup. But sometimes I get asked it when I’m playing around on my web cam, which is even odder since we are on a web cam and can’t actually do any of the things I’m supposedly into.

    So right now I’m into knowing your thoughts and feedback on this. Does anyone else struggle with this like I do?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2008 7:22 PM GMT
    RAPE....I like to be bound, gagged and not given a choice!!!


























    tee hee hee ... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2008 7:29 PM GMT
    I think its a way guys attempt to generate conversations. Your initial response is normal, but a lot of people really only talk about, or want to talk about sex, so they don't bother.

    You're probably just better off responding how you initially do until you find someone who can actually have that type of conversation with you.

    Sex is sex is sex, and most anything that needs expounding upon has already been discussed by Dan Savage.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Apr 14, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    Well, I guess if you're cruising a website for a hook-up it's like catalog shopping. The picture gets your attention, then you get the details to see if it's something you'd be interested in.

    I get this from guys on here emailing or IMing me. In real life it never happens, except for the occasional drunk guy in a bar.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2008 7:37 PM GMT
    just respond as follows:

    If you like them: Try me and lets find out

    If you dont: "definitely not you"

    Some guys need a menu I prefer to wait until the hostess trolly comes out to see what my dessert will be

    But some guys have a preference and are not versatile like you. So it can cut to the chase to be blunt, I personaly normally tell them to f off unless I am just too horny and dont care ha ha

    And hey sexy who the hell wouldnt wanna know what you were into! Damn cute!
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
    Top or bottom?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
    I'd quite like to rape Caslon.
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:27 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidI'd quite like to rape Caslon.


    me too...lets rape him together...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:43 PM GMT
    On a serious note I will try and answer Mr.ATXsportsbuff's question!

    Gay sex has two main pillars so to speak.

    - Oral Sex;

    - Anal Sex.

    I am sure you know what those are!

    In anal sex some guys only like to be the top (the pitcher as I call it) and others only like to be the bottom (catcher as I call it). Some guys like to be flexible. Not all guys like anal sex. Some find it too painful and will only top if they must (like moi).

    In oral sex some guys don't like giving head and only like being given a blowjob (selfish bastards as I sometimes call them). Others (like moi) love giving head and are sorely disappointed when the guy does not want to be "serviced".

    Then you will find the rare gay guy that will not do either oral or anal but will stick to kissing, fondling, rubbing up against each other, etc.. I had a bf like this who termed it "bambi sex". I would recommend though not picturing that cute Disney character when you are doing the deed, you will likely lose your erection. icon_sad.gif

    Finally there are more exotic practices such as rimming (licking a fellas um anus), and a whole slew of s&m things guys can get into that I am no expert on.

    If you would like more advice I can provide that for a nominal fee, just e-mail on RJ (only kidding about the fee).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:48 PM GMT
    oooohhh Dr Ruth more advice please ;-) and yeh right tell it to the judge I dont believe yuo are purely "vanilla" ha ha ha ha
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:55 PM GMT
    Wysiwyg60 saidFinally there are more exotic practices such as rimming (licking a fellas um anus)


    When did rimming become exotic?
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:56 PM GMT
    Damn, forgot my reply to ATX.

    ATXSportsbuff, some guys, just don't have anything else to talk about, really one dimensional guys who can't hold a conversation beyond sex. There very boring.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 14, 2008 9:50 PM GMT
    lol...it's basically code for

    ....Are you a top or bottom
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    Apr 14, 2008 10:04 PM GMT
    answer it exactly the same way you do now... when they mention sexual issues.. ask why it matters? if no reply, you can make it super awkward when you meet him through another friend... "this is my friend andrew" "oh ya we met once" "oh really? i don't recall when".... enter witty belittling remark here...
  • redheaded_dud...

    Posts: 408

    Apr 14, 2008 10:29 PM GMT
    I like your first answer: "Well I like snowboarding in the winter, watching college football, jogging, wakeboarding and boating, Interior Mexican foods, cooking, and I'm a reality show junkie."

    When they say, "No! I mean sexually," you say, "My goodness, what a personal question! Let me suggest a book by Letitia Baldridge to you!"
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    Apr 14, 2008 10:45 PM GMT
    lilTanker said[quote][cite]Wysiwyg60 said[/cite]Finally there are more exotic practices such as rimming (licking a fellas um anus)


    When did rimming become exotic?[/quote]

    Hehe, notice I said more exotic. To be honest I never hooked up with a guy that wanted to rim me on the first liaison.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Apr 14, 2008 10:57 PM GMT

    well, here in San Francisco..."what are you into?"...could mean a bunch of things:

    - oral/anal [the basics that everyone mentioned]
    - orgies
    - fisting
    - watersports
    - getting tied up
    - bdsm
    - other fetish-type behavior

    I've even had people ask me:

    - If my relationship was open icon_confused.gif
    - how much I charge [WTF?!] icon_eek.gif

    so you might want to respond with:

    "what are my choices?"...and then go from there...

    - David
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    Apr 14, 2008 11:17 PM GMT
    Hahaha. I know exactly what you mean. I remember going through something similar online. I said 'well all sorts really, in terms of music I'm a big Michael Jackson fan, blah blah blah'. Then I seem to recall him laughing at me, so it wasn't as harrowing an experience as yours ATX
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    Apr 15, 2008 12:02 AM GMT
    Moudi said[quote][cite]redheadguy said[/cite]I'd quite like to rape Caslon.


    me too...lets rape him together...[/quote]

    Ooooooo gang rape....just when my testosterone is surging too. How great is that!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 12:17 AM GMT
    dfrourke said

    - how much I charge [WTF?!] icon_eek.gif

    - David


    So, how much do you charge? I'm coming to SF in a few weeks.

    icon_lol.gif

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    Apr 15, 2008 7:54 AM GMT
    Can I rape Caslon too? You might have to hold him down,a as he's way bigger than me. icon_twisted.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 15, 2008 7:53 PM GMT
    When someone asks me that, of course its sexual.

    I usually say.. I'm into power and I hunger for it.

    They usually go away...icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 7:56 PM GMT
    this is turning into a "South Park Christmas Critter Special" with Caslon as the special guest.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 15, 2008 7:59 PM GMT
    jms84 saidthis is turning into a "South Park Christmas Critter Special" with Caslon as the special guest.




    Hey, I want it.. that would be great.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 8:00 PM GMT
    Can I rape Caslon too? You might have to hold him down,a as he's way bigger than me.

    Tell you what, you and Moudi hold him down and I'll bang his brains out so hard his teeth'll rattle.