YOU ARE AT DINNER WITH A DATE: Who is given the check??

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 15, 2008 2:54 AM GMT
    Sounds like kind of a stupid question doesn't it?

    You've had a nice dinner and you've told the waiter/waitress its to be on one check.... who is handed the check the majority of the time?


    My bf and I talked about this at dinner tonight. I was paying, but the waitress handed my bf the check.. she even handed it back to him with my credit card and receipt.. we kind of laughed.... his comment, "maybe its because I'm older... they just assume"??


    Have you ever noticed this and who pays?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 15, 2008 2:56 AM GMT
    I find it depends on who seems to 'take control' at the beginning. Like Saturday night, we went out to eat and when the waitress asked if we were ready, I said to my bf "Do you know what you want? Go ahead and order." Then I ordered. She brought me the check.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Apr 15, 2008 3:25 AM GMT
    I agree with Timberoo. I tend to be the first to speak, the 'take charge' person (I know, hard to believe), so I'm usually handed the cheque, then kindly pass it to my date. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:27 AM GMT
    Am I the only one whose waiter/waitress sets the check on the edge of the table?
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:30 AM GMT
    Silly as this sounds, if one orders a bottle of wine, wait staff will almost always hand the check to him. I usually order the bottle of wine, smell the cork, take the first sip, etc, and I practically always get the check...LOL
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Apr 15, 2008 3:35 AM GMT
    most of the restaurants i have been to on dates with men i think the wait staff just assumed....hmmmm 2 hot guys. 1 bottle of wine. 1 dessert but 2 spoons. just present the bill on the table and say...'gentlemen i will take that when u are ready' !!!
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:36 AM GMT
    Good question. I'll tell you as soon as I go out a date. When i'm with a group of friends and it's put on a one check we normal just all chip in our fair share including a tip and call it day. It makes things so much fun in my eyes.

    If someone wants a spereate check then they normally say so and it's not really a big issue since everyone can understand why they might want a seperate check fromt he rest. I have tghis one friend who keeps all her reciepts. That's her thing so it's not bad.

    I do, however, find it tacky and little distastful when someone skimps out on paying their part of the bill. it's cool if it happens every now and then (we've all been there) but when it turns into a habit and seems like 2nd nature to not want to pull your weight on a check then I quickly lose respect.
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:39 AM GMT
    I generally get up during dinner to head to the restroom and grab the waiter/waitress and tell her to make sure that I am handed the check.

    But I've noticed that when I haven't done that, the check is usually placed in the middle at most restaurants.
  • Artesin

    Posts: 482

    Apr 15, 2008 3:40 AM GMT
    Usually placed in the center from what I've seen. Wouldn't know though, the whole going out to eat thing is a bit overrated to me. like to do something more exciting.
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:41 AM GMT
    polobutt saidI generally get up during dinner to head to the restroom and ...

    ...dont come back til after he has paid the check

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Oh I crack me up ... icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:47 AM GMT
    Wait what do you mean? Gay guys go on dates? I thought we just met at the bar or online for one night stands. Damn how can i get on this meal thing?
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:48 AM GMT
    there you go...Minnie the Moocher... "Each meal (s)he ate was a dozen courses"
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:52 AM GMT
    I usually have the credit card ready when they come to ask if we would like anything else. If my date says no, and I'm all set, I just hand the waiter/waitress my card.
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    Apr 15, 2008 5:00 AM GMT
    BostonVball saidI usually have the credit card ready when they come to ask if we would like anything else. If my date says no, and I'm all set, I just hand the waiter/waitress my card.


    I agree, either that or they usually set it in the middle of the table.

    Frequently when I am entertaining - especially for business - I will speak to the manager beforehand, and give him my credit card at that time, so that there is no ambiguity. I find this has a side benefit: it almost always produces excellent service as well.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Apr 15, 2008 5:04 AM GMT
    I forget...it's been THAT long since I went on a date.
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    Apr 15, 2008 5:05 AM GMT
    Them.
    It's an implied understanding: they get the bill, I provide the entertainment.
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    Apr 15, 2008 5:07 AM GMT
    I set the check in the middle of the table unless someone ask for it...

    simple.

    Q
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    Apr 15, 2008 5:19 AM GMT
    jjltexas saidWait what do you mean? Gay guys go on dates? I thought we just met at the bar or online for one night stands. Damn how can i get on this meal thing?


    So I guess this means that you're not taking me to dinner. Damn it!
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Apr 15, 2008 5:21 AM GMT
    It's totally not a stupid question, but it is VERY easy to fix...

    well, this is all about "taking charge" and being the host...if you made the reservations, then you are the expected host...and you should present yourself that way at the restaurant by introducing the reservation to the host when you walk in...also, the waitstaff should take cues from the host by the person who orders the wine...or allows his/her guest [or partner] to order first...or asks for the bill...

    ...if you are not getting the check...one of the following is happening:

    1. Your waitstaff is clueless about the cues OR
    2. You are not presenting yourself as the "take charge person" who should get the bill.

    If either of these are true [or both]...then at some point in the dinner excuse yourself to the bathroom and pull the waitstaff aside to make sure you get the bill.

    simple enough.

    - David
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    Apr 15, 2008 6:04 AM GMT
    But I do have to say that I think that it is very hot when a guy flips on me and pays for my dinner (or lunch)
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    Apr 15, 2008 7:07 AM GMT
    I don't get what you all are talking about ..... check? What check? The places I take dates you pay at the counter when you pick up the food!

    Just kidding! Seriously, I agree with some of you guys - I give a look to the waiter and usually let them know when we are ready, and I taste the wine, and when it is time to go - I might say something like, "I think we're ready - check please." Always nice if the guy offers to split it - or jumps on the check if it is placed in the center of the table. If a guy pays the whole thing for us - I offer to do the tip - or say, "The next one is on me."


  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 15, 2008 10:33 AM GMT
    Not sure what the original question was...
    but usually the waiter or waitress hands the check to
    and I'm not trying to be ageist here because it's come to me a few times

    ...the guy who looks older

    My first BF was a little older than me and he Always was handed the check
    and when I had dates with guys who were ... ahem seriously younger than me... I got the check

    but when I'm dating a guy we usually would alternate and take the checks ... splitting down the middle all the time becomes too complicated
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    Apr 15, 2008 10:48 AM GMT
    I think the check should be handed to the guy who can afford to buy the fancy South Beach condo in the sky. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 15, 2008 11:10 AM GMT
    The proper waitstaff etiqette would be to set the bill in the center or on the end of the table as a few guys have stated already.

    unless of course they are trying to slip someone their phone number in the checkicon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 15, 2008 11:45 AM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidAm I the only one whose waiter/waitress sets the check on the edge of the table?



    Sounds like an idea Mickey.... and we do that.. I'm talking when the waiter/waitress first brings the check.. and I do put it at the edge of the table.