What to do when your best friend ends up with the guys you like?

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    Jun 13, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    Ok first off, I really appreciate any insight coz I'm in a bit of a downhill slide here. (and this is a little long so thanks for the patience)

    So my gay friend and I have been partying the past few weeks. If I were to compare our personalities, (and cliche as it may seem using SATC references) he's very much like Samantha, and I'm more like..uhmm, MIranda I suppose lol (so sad + facepalm)

    Last night, I saw this really cute guy. My friend came up to them and we started talking, and his lesbian friend was like "The two of you should dance!" and we did. But I didn't want him to think I was severely (and i mean, severely) attracted to him, that I ended up always two feet away from him when dancing. It was soooo awkward.

    And then, my gay friend joins, and this betch (my friend, and I mean this with love) grabs this cute guy and started dancing dirty with him. I was like "uhmmm?" And my friend whispers to me asking if I liked the guy or not, coz if not, he'll take over!! I mean, at this point, my friend is basically dry humping the guy so what do you say to that?! Of course I said, go ahead, I don't like him anyway (but I really did) icon_confused.gif

    And they went home and I assume they had hot passionate sex. I, on the other hand, just took a cold shower at 3 am. (My friend obvs had the nerve to text me this morning and said "I had so much fun last night!!" and i was thinking "Of course you did, you bitch.")

    Last night wasn't the first night. I always end up talking with the cute guys early in the night, just for my friend to snatch them away from me before the night ends.

    I love my friend to death, but he always gets the guy- he's just shameless that way. How can I at least show a guy I'm interested without looking like a slut? I just want a level playing field here




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    Jun 13, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    Should have been honest...you lied to your friend...you liked the guy, just say so...
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    Jun 13, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    garycally saidShould have been honest...you lied to your friend...you liked the guy, just say so...


    This. It sounds like you have a great friend to ask you before doing the dirty with the guy.

    Best overall policy is to tell the truth no matter what.
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    Jun 13, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Start going to the club alone without the cock block.
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    Jun 13, 2011 2:35 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    garycally saidShould have been honest...you lied to your friend...you liked the guy, just say so...


    This. It sounds like you have a great friend to ask you before doing the dirty with the guy.

    Best overall policy is to tell the truth no matter what.


    WORD!

    If you like a guy, show interest and make it known to your friend beforehand. Otherwise, you're a tool for kvetching about it afterwards.

    Now, if you said that you were interested and he went after the guy, he's a douche.
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    Jun 13, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    Should have been honest with your friend, AND with the guy you were interested in.

    If you act like you're not interested, then the guy is going to think you're not.

    If you tell you're friend that you're not interested, then he's going to think you're not.

    Just because you're interested in someone doesn't mean you're a slut or desperate. Unless of course you start humping the guys leg right there in the middle of the club, then that's a totally different story. Though not all together a negative depending on the situation icon_wink.gif

    You're cute. Be confident. Go for what you want.
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    Jun 13, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    If you want someone, go after them bro. If you are dancing with a guy, make eye contact and make a couple comments ("you're pretty good at this..." "what's your best dance move- show me what you got?", or do a stupid dance to make him laugh and break things up.

    Confidence is not about the things you can't control. It's about the things you can, which is what you say and how you act.

    As for your bud, straight guys have this EXACT same problem with their more aggressive friends. I actually have had to keep my straight friends from fighting in the past over this. The fact that your buddy joined in and asked you was a chance for you to say, "go away dude, I'm working on this" But you didn't? The goal is to be moving forward.

    Maybe you could also remind your buddy that you'd like him to be your "wing man" not your "opponent". Why the eff did he even join in when you were clearly dancing with the guy? Some people don't get it.
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    Jun 13, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    behave like a 25 yr old and not a 15 yr old....


    FML, why are people so fucking ridiculous
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    Jun 13, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    Damn it! You're just not slutty or bitchy enough, which is a good thing.

    Remember "All is fair in love and war". Next time when your friend try to jock-block you or steal your prey, put a hand on her face, and push her far, far, far away to the next galaxy. And if any other betch-friend (with all the love in the world) tries to steal your man, kick her in the testicles so she won't be able to have sex that night. Do whatever to get that guy's eyes and attention ON YOU and AWAY from other betches. Make sure he knows that you are interested. Go home with him.

    If you want to decline sex after he goes home with you, that's for you to decide later. If you do, you can always say that you rejected a really hot guy.
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    Jun 13, 2011 3:51 PM GMT
    Oh lord...thanks guys...yeah I kind of feel like a total douche for complaining about my friend- he was just being slutty-which is normal for him

    i lol'ed at having to kick my friend's balls, but hey if it comes down to it, imma just have to...

    in the meantime, i hope this will suffice

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