Hot guy at gym - is he into me?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 12:09 PM GMT
    I know everyone asks this. Just wondering if u guys could help.
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    Apr 15, 2008 12:24 PM GMT
    Im not really the guy for advice but what the heck i'll tell you what i think. From the first lines you wrote about him talking about your arms and back and everything it looks as if he is in to you but if hes not checking out other guys and he has a girl in the backround that means he is probably noticon_sad.gif Try asking some stuff that will show his true self like where he hangs out, hobbies and stuff. He just might be a very open guy looking as you said for a training buddy. If you really are bigger than him then he probably wants tips from you on how to be like that too or he is just looking for a friend with the same interests.
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:15 PM GMT
    I think it sounds like he's hitting on you, unless he's one of those maddeningly flirtatious straight boys that like to get our panties all twisted up.

    One way to tell: Was the girl on the backdrop of his cellphone Madonna?
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:23 PM GMT
    HereComesTheSun saidI think it sounds like he's hitting on you, unless he's one of those maddeningly flirtatious straight boys that like to get our panties all twisted up.

    One way to tell: Was the girl on the backdrop of his cellphone Madonna?

    Or Cher maybe LOL!

    For real though, I think you should make it clear that you are into guys and see how he acts then. Sometimes things are not always as they seem and some dudes are just way more outgoing than your average macho man. The thing is once you start being a gym buddy you have a great excuse to hang out and have lunch together lol. Oh yeah maybe it is his hag or sister on the background of his phone, you should have said "hey who is that". icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 15, 2008 3:35 PM GMT
    Just ask... forget the guessing game...
    "Dude, you hittin' on me? ... 'Cuz damn, I like it. icon_lol.gif" icon_exclaim.gif
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    Apr 15, 2008 4:32 PM GMT
    Chizzad said[quote][cite]HereComesTheSun said[/cite]I think it sounds like he's hitting on you, unless he's one of those maddeningly flirtatious straight boys that like to get our panties all twisted up.

    One way to tell: Was the girl on the backdrop of his cellphone Madonna?

    Or Cher maybe LOL!
    [/quote]

    Streisand. icon_smile.gif

    In my opinion, everyone is innocent unless there is undeniable evidence to the contrary.
  • Muunrakur

    Posts: 169

    Apr 15, 2008 5:41 PM GMT
    I don't think the girl on the cell means anything. He could be bi, closeted, or in denial.

    Whenever the idea of "he has a girlfriend" or whatnot comes up in discussions like this, I always remind my friends that Elton John was married once, too.
  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Apr 15, 2008 6:14 PM GMT
    Try asking him if that girl on the celly is his girlfriend! If anything, does he know you're gay? icon_biggrin.gificon_lol.gificon_razz.gificon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 15, 2008 7:50 PM GMT
    MUTTSKINS!!!!

    Actually I agree with him, not a bad idea


    I would approach it carefully. He may just be a dynamic straight guy who enjoys talking at the gym. I've seen it. Ask some gradual pointed questions and I think you'll figure it out.

    It is interesting what happens at the gym, however and there IS notice! Sometimes it can fun, sometimes not.....
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    Apr 15, 2008 8:07 PM GMT
    I agree- and I've seen some of these cases before - and racked my brains trying to figure it out. I like the advice above - especially the bit where you say, "Hey man - who's the girl?" If it is his gf, he'll proudly say so. If it is a sister or someone else - he'll say that instead. Then, you'll know. And if he indicates he is gay - go right to 2nd base and ask him to go for a run after your workout - and to dinner sometime.

    Here is something else - straight guys often mention their girlfriends in a conversation - and the fact that this guy has not done that is telling, I think.

    Good luck - I hope for your sake he is on "our" team!
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    Apr 15, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
    owen56 saidI know everyone asks this. Just wondering if u guys could help.

    Ive started going to a new gym. Its a mixed gym and not gay.

    Theres this guy there who i have seen for the past few weeks. He came up to me the other day and struck up conversation, asking me how long i had been training for and how much i weighed. Then later on he said how he thought he my arms looked bigger than his and that they looked pretty good. He tells me he likes it when you have a tshirt that shows ur biceps.

    He always smiles and says hi when he sees me, and we make conversation about workout tips etc and small talk about what we do for jobs. I havent ever caught him checking other guys out, and havent really seen hm looking at me either. I finally asked him his name last week when he asked me if he could cut in with my workout on one of the machines and asked for a spotter. He remebers my name and always uses it when he says hi.

    We had another chat about how he thinks i look bigger than him, and that he thinks my back is really cut, annd wants to know what i do for my back. We compare arms, and are about the same size.
    So then he asks if i want to workout together with him, by organising a time to come to the gym beforehand. So he gets my cell number.

    Now by this stage i am questioing whether he is in to me, or just genuinely looking for a workout buddy. The catch is, wehn he got my number i see a picture of a girl as a backdrop on his phone.
    the girl pic can be a cover up for his real idenity orrrrrr not

    What do you guys think?
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    Apr 15, 2008 8:31 PM GMT
    talk with him about a male celebrity.tell him that you want a body just like that celeb's.tell him why you find that celeb's body hot. be spesific.talk about pecs, abs, biceps ,triceps ,lats etc.ask his idea about these.
  • joeindallas

    Posts: 484

    Apr 15, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    Ask him out for a dinner date Nothing special, a chain like Applebee's, Chili's or another chain Do some small talk about lifting,, diet and stuff. Scope him out and if you think it is more, ask him. Damn it worse he can say is no, and that he is straight. Trust me gay straight or Bi he would be flattered soembody took an interest in him .
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    Apr 16, 2008 12:00 AM GMT
    stare at him for 5 seconds in the locker room....

    see how he responds. If he doesn't, then stare at him for 3 seconds in the locker room.

    if he still doesn't respond, he's straight...and now he thinks you're weird.
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    Apr 16, 2008 12:08 AM GMT
    AznAmerGuy saidJust ask... forget the guessing game...
    "Dude, you hittin' on me? ... 'Cuz damn, I like it. icon_lol.gif" icon_exclaim.gif


    Right on! That should be your answer!
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    Apr 16, 2008 1:25 AM GMT
    Muunrakur saidI don't think the girl on the cell means anything. He could be bi, closeted, or in denial.

    Whenever the idea of "he has a girlfriend" or whatnot comes up in discussions like this, I always remind my friends that Elton John was married once, too.



    He could be straight. It's funny how, the one time a straight guy has sex with another guy, he's said to be gay and nothing else in the world will dissuade that. Even if he never again has sex with a man or has no interest in men in that regard. (Perhaps it was an experiment or was drunk) but the one time a gay guy has sex with a girl, he's never accused of being a straight guy or a closeted straight guy. No matter what else he does, he's gay... it's a no win situation in the matter of is he gay or straight.

    He's doomed to be forever called gay...

    So what difference does it make what he is, you'll assume he's gay no matter what he does...

    "...He couldn't possibly be straight... what straight guy wants to just be friends with a gay guy... oh he must be a closet case..." come on guys, you know that's what you're thinking...icon_exclaim.gif

    ...and so continues the cycle...


    In short what I am saying is this: Don't assume anything or play little games. Just take him for what he is: A guy. If you want to know what his orientation is that bad, just ask otherwise you'll just assume and reaffirm what I stated above.

    -James R.

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    Apr 16, 2008 1:28 AM GMT
    "Hey, wanna grab a cup of coffee and we can talk about this?"
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    Apr 16, 2008 1:31 AM GMT
    Well don't beat around the bush with this.

    The guy sparked up by paying you some compliments. That's actually quite normal in a gym since everyone is always checking others out and not necessarily for sex mind you.

    Find out if he is gay and just be upfront with him in a tactful manner. After that see how he responds and play it by ear fromt here. if youare still unsure then that's fine. let him make the first move since he has already engaged in convo with you. Also it seems like he is looking for someone to work out with. Go for it. Take the opportunity to work out with him and be a bud and if things progress further then that's just an added bonus. Sex should not be the first thing that comes to mind.

    Common mistake by most people who get approached in a gym is that they automatically think they are being hit on, when in reality, it's just simple innocent banter and conversation (seriously, guys tend to flatter themselves to the max upon moments like this). It's fun to think it could happen to you (and it can) but I wouldn't put too much stock into and just take it as a friendly compliment.

  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Apr 16, 2008 1:36 AM GMT
    well owen he does seem to be doing alot of 'comparing' him to u and vise versa. my $$ says he is interested in something. pic of a girl on his cellphone means nothing. one thing i have learned about men in general, straight and gay, is assume NOTHING....ASK !! she may be his sister, his cousin who died from cancer last xmas eve, who knows. just be yourself around him and let him see who and what u are and if u are lucky you will get to see what he i all about tooo!!
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    Apr 16, 2008 4:31 AM GMT
    For the first time in my life, I have a gay friend that I didn't meet through either mutual friends, former hookup, or some other "off limits" means. The reason I bring this up is this: it may be rare in our current homosexual microcosm, but its entirely possible to make friends with other guys, regardless of their sexuality, without there being a sexual level of attraction.

    The same goes for the straight guys who just buddy up to other guys. It happens. If you were to ask a straight guy why he's close buddies with another guy, he might get uncomfortable putting it into words, but he has other guy friends! So in some degree he was attracted to that other guy, perhaps not consciously sexually, but there's a bond there.

    So just explore it and be thankful you've made a friend. If you're interested, grow some nuts and talk to him casually about your sexuality, but only AFTER you've become friends on other levels that don't involve sexuality! It doesn't have to always be abouot that. And if he's comfortable enough with you to be buddies with a random guy from the gym, then he's probably comfortable enough for you to reveal the fact that you're gay.
  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Apr 16, 2008 9:18 AM GMT
    Stigmata said"...He couldn't possibly be straight... what straight guy wants to just be friends with a gay guy... oh he must be a closet case..." come on guys, you know that's what you're thinking...icon_exclaim.gif

    Ahem [clears throat]... straightey here! icon_biggrin.gificon_lol.gificon_razz.gificon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 16, 2008 12:31 PM GMT
    MUTTSKINS!!!

    There was a rumor you were straight...... and I agree with you again... there can be many straight guys that have gay friends and vice versa. To believe anything different is really kind of ridiculous.
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    Apr 16, 2008 10:40 PM GMT
    Of course we can have straight friends, I do. I wasn't saying anything to the contrary. What I was saying is the mob mentality of gay people is that they are always skeptics of straight people.


    One thing we all should be aware of is that a "PERSON IS SMART, PEOPLE ARE STUPID" (-?).
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    Apr 17, 2008 10:30 AM GMT
    UPDATE!:

    Thanks for the advice guys. Today my new bud sends me a message asking to meet up at the guy tonight to train together. In his message he says something at the end like "How are those biceps?". When I see him at the gym he smiles (in the way that makes me just melt) and says hope you're not doing arms today, yours look massive and you havent even started! Anyway we talk shit a bit more and start working out. I totally just check him out the whole time, and get more and more into him, you know the way it goes. I spend the whole time just thinking about where things could go from here, he seems such a nice guy. Anyway near the end of our workout he says he can't stay too late cos his girlfriend is picking him up.

    I feel like shit.

    Anyway she comes to get him and i see them holding hands in the foyer, they make a really cute couple. I say see you later as I leave and she kind of glares at me lol.

    So thanks for the advice guys, I guess I just let my imagination run a bit too wild this time.
  • geebus

    Posts: 216

    Apr 17, 2008 12:47 PM GMT
    ok fair enough, things didn't work out as you hoped. But still, you met a straight guy secure enough with his sexuality to actually compliment a stranger at the gym and ask to be gym buddies.

    Man if I was you, I'd call that a win anyday...just my 2 cents.