A response to those who support "The Family Research Council"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    I received an email from my great aunt, who sent an email encouraging me to donate to the Family Research Council .... the email outlined a number of reasons why the gays are undermining straight people in the government, why we shouldnt be given rights... etc. Naturally I was infuriated....

    So... being the sassy person that I am... I wrote her a loooong email, and CC'd my family. I thought I'd share because, well, I am proud of it.

    Dear Aunt Vera,

    I find it incredible that there people who actually think that accepting gays into society as EQUALS is a problem. These are the same people who likely felt that we should not accept blacks, and before that, who felt that women were inferior to men. Inequality is all around us, and has been a problem for centuries.

    I don't have a clue if you actually know any gays or lesbians personally, but I do know many. And I guarantee you that they are no different from you, except that they were born in such a way that they love and are attracted to those of the same sex. They are lovely people and they deserve the same rights, love and respect as everyone else in the world. The organizations that you are affiliated with and read from, tend to spew hateful speech and misinformation about gays and lesbians... and many other groups for that matter.

    The idea that gay marriage will be an affront to the "institution" of heterosexual Marriage and Families is complete nonsense. Gays and lesbians who are not closeted account for a grand total of 2-3 percent of the ENTIRE population in the United States. There is no possible way that they could ever actually change the institution of marriage for heterosexuals, and that is based simply on the numbers. Straight people will continue to get married at the same rates.

    Any problem that straight people have with their relationships are not due to gays - but due to their own issues. If anyone has dragged heterosexual marriage through the mud, it is those who chose to get married for the wrong reasons, who have children they cannot take care of, who put their kids through abusive treatment and who then end up in their own single parent households. Believe me, as a therapist I have seen the effects of poor heterosexual marriages on kids and adults. People need to focus on having healthy families PERIOD. Much to the dismay of the Family Research Council, gays and lesbians can have extremely healthy families.

    I find it sad that there are people who would choose to deny rights to two people who CAN offer love and support to each other and who want to adopt unwanted children (who were had by straight couples no less) who do not have any parents to care for them. Is that not a travesty of our times? Because I believe sincerely that it is. Additionally, repeated psychological studies of kids in with gay parents showed that there is NO difference in their adjustment when compared to kids in 'traditional' families. Children of gay couples are not any more likely than average to come out gay, either.

    People do not choose their sexual orientation - because if they did, then you too would have woken up one day and decided to be attracted to men. I imagine that this was not the case for you. And I also assure you that it is not the case for any of the gay people that I know. The plain fact is that anyone who states that it is a "choice" to be gay is factually incorrect. There is absolutely not a shred of evidence to suggest that idea - I do not care what any religious figure says. They know only their experience and choose not to think outside of their own belief system - which is usually incredibly limiting to knowledge and insight. There is not a person who would choose to be gay - because look at what happens to them. They are discriminated against, and hated. All for who they love both in the emotional and physical sense? My goodness... don't we have bigger things to worry about than who Jon Doe is sleeping with? Whose business is it?? Isn't that the real republican view anyways.... lassiez faire? A hands off approach? I suppose they pick and choose when to take peoples rights and when not to.

    What really made me upset about the email you sent was the part where it talked about Dan Savage's "It Get's Better" campaign. This "organization," the Family Research Council, calls his campaign an "assault on free speech." What??? This campaign was simply a way for role models (both straight and gay) to spread the message to gay and lesbian youth, that, although they are bullied in school, that things will get better for them. I was bullied a lot in school, for various reasons, and believe me it would have been nice for someone to tell me that it would have gotten better. The campaign was started as a result of a string of kids who killed themselves because the were being bullied at school for being gay (or for being THOUGHT OF as gay), and who could no longer stand it. And the family research family has the audacity to call this an assault on free speech? I'm sorry - but if a teacher telling a bully to stop making fun of an 11 year old kid counts as an assault on free speech, then it is a sad world that we live in, where no one gives a crap about each other. People should be figuring out what's going on at home that cause kids to be bullies... and to bully kids so badly that they want to kill themselves. I can't tell you how many times I wished a teacher would stand up for me when kids made fun of me. But they did not. Thank God I had support at home, otherwise I could have ended up who knows where. Thank God I had a relatively resilient personality. But i refuse to sit back and read the lies that this organization spreads without saying a word.

    Finally, among the number of ridiculous statements that this council makes, they say that gay couples should be denied the same financial protections as heterosexual couples. So you're telling me that, for a couple who has made their life together... who have been together monogamously for 25, 30, 40,50 years (they do exist!) that they deserve no rights or recognition. Who gives a hoot if they want to leave their assets to each other when they die? They love each other - whether you like it or not - and they should be able to have the same rights as straight couples.... they should be allowed to visit each other in nursing homes and the hospital when they are sick. I think it's sick that there are people who would say, "no, you cant visit the person you love while he is dying of cancer"... simply based on their sexuality? This is no different from a interracial marriage in the 1950's or 60's.... the same form of discrimination because of false fear tactics created by "conservative" organizations.

    Why is this hateful and discriminatory approach necessary? Many would argue that the Christian perspective says that we cannot support gay marriage or families. However - to do so with such hate and discrimination goes against every Christian rule that I was ever taught at Sunday school. What ever happened to "love thy neighbor" and "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Christian values are based on love and non-judgment. So why are these organizations rallying on hatred and discrimination of a minority population? It is ironic that in the name of Christianity, there are people who are more than happy to destroy the lives of, or at the very least impede the pursuit of happiness of people who are just trying to live day to day. I do not believe for a second that the "Family Research Council" is at all Christian - and that is evidenced by the fact that they lie and twist information to suit their own agenda. Lying is also not a Christian value, as far as I know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    There are many Christian sects that recognize that denying gays rights is a hateful stance that is dangerous to people's happiness. It also stops the growth of families that, while different, COULD be very happy. Who are you to tell them how to live their lives? Who are we to judge? That is not our role - especially when there is not a SHRED of evidence that their behavior is harmful to anyone. If you are worried that they are going to hell, then let them go... it's not ANYONE'S place to say how they should live their lives.

    They have never hurt you. In fact, they are the victims of hate crimes every single day. Matthew Shepherd was beaten, pistol whipped and murdered because some guys he thought was gay. They drove him out to the middle of nowhere, robbed him beat the hell out of him and then tied him to a fencepost, to die. The reports said that his face was entirely covered in blood- except in two areas- where his tears had washed the blood away.

    Can you imagine the terror he must have been through in those last moments. And to die alone, at 21 years old, tied to a fence post..... who on earth would ever deserve that? Nobody. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Hate crimes happen every day, and not just to gay people.

    This is what gays deserve? To be completely exposed to the whims of those who feel that they are 'sinful' people. This is what gay people are up against.... People who hate them, who would kill them, for who they are. I ask you, who is there to protect them from such awful events? I encourage you, Aunt Vera to re-evaluate the organizations you support. The Family Research Council has no respect for anyone who differs from their small box of people who fit in with what they feel is right. Unfortunately for them, there is diversity in the world... which should be celebrated.

    You are free to have whatever beliefs you wish. You are also free to send these e-mails to other people. But please do not send them to me anymore... you are my Family, my dear Great Aunt and I'd rather not get upset over such things. We can agree to disagree, and I can respect that.

    Please consider that at the end of the day - we are all people who put our shoes on in the morning. We are all humans. And all of God's children deserve love and respect. That is the Christian way.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2011 11:59 AM GMT
    Dear Aunt Vera,

    I am gay, and the Family Research Council is a terrorist organization that has been encouraging discrimination against me and people like me for many years now. They will employ every tactic they know, because they are evil.

    I was born gay. God made me gay. The Family Research Council decides that God didn't know what he was doing when he made me. They are holding up their middle finger to him as they pollute our planet with their pleas for money.

    I love you enough to tell you this, and to let you know you've been lied to. It's easy to believe what they say, considering how convincingly they speak to you. That is because they are professional liars, and they hate me. They will stop at nothing to achieve their ends. God is not on their side, so they are doomed to fail. Take God's side, join with me and condemn the Family Research Council.

    See you at church!

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    Jun 15, 2011 12:07 PM GMT
    Great letter, but I share Mickey's implicit question: Are you not out to Aunt Vera?

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    Jun 15, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    First of all, I love you guys. Second of all...well, there is no second of all.

    Zeyad, you did good. I think you were brave, but yeah, let Aunt Vera have it with your new revelation (if it won't destroy your family).
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    Jun 15, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    ObsceneWish saidGreat letter, but I share Mickey's implicit question: Are you not out to Aunt Vera?

    Aunt Vera is 85 years old.... and very set in her ways. I'm out to basically my entire family, minus more distant relatives who I havent "told" because I dont talk to them much. I consider myself essentially 100% out.... very very few people don't know.

    I'm not sure if she could handle it, how she would react, etc. So for that reason I chose not to say it outright. Wouldn't want her to have a coronary.... lol.

    For me the letter was not about coming out to her... It was about shedding light on the Family Research Council's disgusting ideas.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Jun 15, 2011 1:04 PM GMT
    You don't have to come out to her, in all actuality, but I'm sure, in a sense, she already is aware--her motivation behind the letter she sent.

    Yes, it is massively well-written and, as a fellow author, I'm impressed and commend you. I do believe that equal rights statements do not have to include you coming out--the common sense being that everyone should be equal, without further elaboration. I have a colleague, massively locked away in the closet, who cries when his parents say the usual hateful statements. I told him that he doesn't have to take that--and he doesn't have to come out if he isn't truly ready. He could make statements like yours here and cover the information.

    I'm curious to see her, your Great Aunt's, response.

    Peace to you and yours,