Gwyneth Paltrow "fat-shames" friend into losing weight... sparks outrage Thoughts?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2011 3:10 AM GMT
    I've seen this reported on several websites and 99% of the people commenting are saying that Gwyneth shouldn't have done that and that she basically needs to be stoned but she only expressed concern for her friend's health, it's that so wrong?

    http://gawker.com/5811847

    Mind you, she only said to him "'What's going on here? I love you. Get it together." It's not like she told a complete stranger "Lose weight you stupid fattie"

    Thoughts?
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    Jun 16, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    Wasn't harsh at all. And sometime people need a snap of reality to get in gear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    It's quite easy for Paltrow to keep it together since she has a whole fucking army of assistants and staff.
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    Jun 16, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
    Where may I send her a letter to invite her to my house to do the same thing for myself? icon_neutral.gif

    Actually- screw it. Where can I find a sassy gay friend?
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    Jun 16, 2011 5:25 AM GMT
    not harsh at all.
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    Jun 16, 2011 8:47 AM GMT
    If she'd said:

    "I'm too glamourous too have fat friends, so lose some fat, friend, or I'll dump you."

    ..... that would have been harsh
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    Jun 16, 2011 10:44 AM GMT
    TheHottestTwink saidand that she basically needs to be stoned


    You must be a fan of Sha'ria law.
  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    Jun 16, 2011 11:56 AM GMT
    I wish I had a Gwenyth spare to give me that treatment icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 16, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    Gwyneth is one of my favorite actresses because she is flawless. More reason to love her now icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 16, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    Actually, if more people started advocating for REAL fitness and health, even in this sort of direct, brusque manner, there'd be less obesity and thus lower health care costs. Win win all around.

    She seemed to say this to him in the context of a prior connection/acquaintance/friendship. It's not as if she were saying it to some complete stranger on the street with the words, "Hey fatty, lose that beer gut or you're probably gonna die!" I find it appropriate to tell your friends of concerns for their health - it's called caring about them!

    People who balk at this and whine "people should be free to be as they want" can keep saying that all they want. But there's a difference between not worrying about your appearance/lax in your fitness and being unhealthy.
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    Jun 16, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    While it's commendable that the fat shame may have given him the kick in the ass he needed to get in better shape, I disagree with most of the other posters. A person is more likely to stick with a health plan with positive motivation than with the negative motivation, like this guy was given.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2011 8:09 PM GMT
    Just because yoou can say something does not mean you should. I love my friends for who they are warts and all. To quote the artist Sybil " Don't Make Me Over"!
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    Jun 16, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    Personally I find it a little condescending of her to do that. I don't think anyone's in any position to make that kind of judgment the way she did. Had he brought up the issue first and asked for her opinion, that would be a different matter. But she threw it out there that something was wrong with him when we don't know if he was happy with himself as is.

    I certainly don't make comments on my friends' appearances. I make fun of my friends quite a bit, but I prefer to make fun of their behavior and character rather than their appearance. I wouldn't want them to do the same to me. It's not my place to suggest to them that they need to fix themselves. They have to realize that on their own unless they bring up the topic first and want to talk about it. Change only comes from within. Social pressure can have a negative impact and lead people to fall into unhealthy habits.

    Truthfully she could afford to gain weight. He should've told Gwyneth to get it together herself and learn to eat every now and then.
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    Jun 16, 2011 8:37 PM GMT
    TheHottestTwink said

    Mind you, she only said to him "'What's going on here? I love you. Get it together."



    The danger of tough loving your friends is that the day comes when they get to tough love you and it feels kinda more like retribution when it happens, lol. They are friends, nothing to see here.

  • musclepuppy

    Posts: 113

    Jun 16, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    Haha whatever works icon_lol.gif
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Jun 16, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn.
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    Jun 16, 2011 9:15 PM GMT
    Gwyneth does come off, i think, as a mixture of charming/snooty depending who's interviewing her, but i think with Ross, she was showing concern, but probably could have worded it better.

    a former friend of mine did the 'fat shame' thing to me once, saying " I think you'd look good 7lbs less,"-- i didn't really like the way he said it-- to me, it came off as a superiority thing/ dick.


    I think the tone of the "concern" and the intent/relationship with the person is key.


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    Jun 16, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    It's no different than what any other coach would do. I've heard way worse on The Biggest Loser.
  • kuroshiro

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    Jun 16, 2011 9:45 PM GMT
    Keep in mind you are reading a text version of the quote with no other context or intonation of the conversation. She would have said it in a lighthearted matter joking around with a friend.
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    Jun 16, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    luvitohateit saidGwyneth is one of my favorite actresses because she is flawless. More reason to love her now icon_smile.gif


    I love her too!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2011 10:19 PM GMT
    Skinny trick
  • Bustthewave

    Posts: 98

    Jun 17, 2011 12:28 AM GMT
    This is one phrase that is clearly not in context of whatever their conversation was. Not to mention we can't hear how she said it. And not to mention, we never got to hear how the guy who lost the weight feels about all of that based on the article.

    If he lost weight because he felt "shamed" into doing it... well then that's on him. It's probably the same shame that caused him to become overweight in the first place.

    My best friend ballooned up from 160, to 280 in about 2 years. I've said something very similar to him as Paltrow, including the "I love you" part. I haven't brought it up since, and I still spend $400 every year to fly to cali to hang out with him and his girlfriend for a few weeks. I'm not ashamed of him, he shouldn't be ashamed of himself. Being overweight should really not be about the social stigmas. It's bad because it's not healthy, it's not bad because of social stigmas.

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    Jun 17, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    Kudos to her. I would say the same thing to my friends.

    You mean to tell me a 31yo old man was easily "shamed" (as he calls it) into losing weight by a mere simple and rather harmless comment from a celebrity? Please. She called him out and he probably knew he needed to lose weight to begin with. People often know what they need to do and should do it but lack that certain "umph" to do it. She gave it to him. Shamed? I don't think so. Motivated sounds more like it.

    If Matthews was happy with himself then such a comment wouldn't haven phased him. It wouldn't have even registered and there'd be no issue. Simple as that. I personally think she approached the situation very tactfully and sincerely.

    That dude needs to man up and get it together seriously. She did him a favor with that simple comment and he should be thanking her for it.

    If that's all it took then her and other celebrities need to do a round trip around the U.S. and visit high schools and work places. This guy needs to suck it up. Notice how he isn't complaining about how he dropped the weight.

    ^5, Gwennie.
  • Jerebear

    Posts: 329

    Jun 17, 2011 1:28 AM GMT
    Shaming fat people doesnt work and its a pretty horrifying thought, to me at least, that people would think its a good idea to dump more shame on fat people when they are already dumping alot of shame on themselves.

    Please dont do it.
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    Jun 17, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    Jerebear saidShaming fat people doesnt work and its a pretty horrifying thought, to me at least, that people would think its a good idea to dump more shame on fat people when they are already dumping alot of shame on themselves.

    Please dont do it.


    Well, I'm sure this is being blown WAY out of proportion by the media. We don't know the context or the way she said it...but obviously, Gwyneth Paltrow has never been known to be anything less than amazing (besides her incredible talent), so I'm sure she didn't mean to "hurt" anyone.