EricPrado saidHow were your experiences?
Ah... now there are some stories in my jaded life.
I dated this guy for nearly a year, and he asked me to move in with him. I was thrilled, my first partner I thought! Now a proviso was that I was much older when I came out, 51 at this point. He was 40.
So I moved into his house. And he gave me a separate bedroom, for appearances sake, because his parents lived just a mile away, and others also dropped in, the front door in this rural town rarely locked.
I was so happy! Living with another guy, a real doll, a movie & TV actor, my dream of a gay life come true. My head was spinning, I can't tell you how wonderful I felt. OMG, I had gone to Heaven.
But then he said to me: "We're not partners or boyfriends, you know. I'm still gonna be seeing other guys." Huh? My heart broke.
I lived there for almost a year more, until one day he got physically violent with me, because I wouldn't give him sex on demand, when I wasn't in the mood one day. He smashed my coffee cup, and grabbed me by the shoulders and violently shook me. (He.was taller and much stronger than me, impossible for me to challenge him physically, once he had grabbed me)
I defiantly looked him in the eye and used my Army Command Voice (the only thing I had left at that point), and ordered him to release me, which he did (I had bruises on my arms from his grip afterwards). Within a day I had made other housing arrangements. I moved out in less than 3 weeks.
Does anyone here think I would allow that situation to happen to ME? I would never tolerate such a thing.
My stupidity was in not seeing this coming sooner. But once it happened I corrected it immediately.
So be forewarned, that there are risks involved. But I've also had 2 partners (the first who died of AIDS) that I moved-in with at around 1 year each of knowing them. And those were very happy relationships.
My current partner & I are at 4 years, and everyone tells us we are the happiest gay couple they know --- no shit! Guys here from RJ have met us both, and I'll let them make their own comments.
So for me, a year has always been a good span before you make it more permanent, and move in. For younger guys like you both, I dunno, since you're still growing & learning.
Yet there are RJ guys here, whom I've met in person, who paired in their 20s and are still together over 40 years later. And just last night we went to a gay choral concert, and the President of the chorus and his partner of 40+ years were introduced. Isn't that wonderful?
So anything is possible. Use good judgment, And yes, you can find your mate for life after a "whole year" if you really want him, and he wants you. Only you two can know that.