Undeserving of love?

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    Jun 19, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    Anyone ever feel like they are in a situation in their life in which they would like to be with someone but feel they just aren't "good enough"? This isn't a whiny emo topic, I've just gotten used to the idea of being alone and starting to wonder if that's some kind of sign of a downward spiral into early gay spinsterdom.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    DoomsDayAlpaca saidAnyone ever feel like they are in a situation in their life in which they would like to be with someone but feel they just aren't "good enough"? This isn't a whiny emo topic, I've just gotten used to the idea of being alone and starting to wonder if that's some kind of sign of a downward spiral into early gay spinsterdom.



    No, it isn't, and I sincerely hope I'm not harming your own synchronicity of events by saying why. I felt I wasn't good enough, then I slowly came to the realization that since I could change my way of thinking about virtually anything it meant I was flexible; a desirable trait to have I think. Then I realized I was good enough indeed. It was a calm not proud feeling. I simply felt better equipped and went from there. I met hundreds if not thousands of people over the next five years and once easy with meeting strangers, met Bill.

    -Doug
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    DoomsDayAlpaca saidAnyone ever feel like they are in a situation in their life in which they would like to be with someone but feel they just aren't "good enough"? This isn't a whiny emo topic, I've just gotten used to the idea of being alone and starting to wonder if that's some kind of sign of a downward spiral into early gay spinsterdom.


    You're 22, you're handsome, and have stuff going for you-- why worry about being alone? just because it's not happening right now, doesn't mean it won't. take the time while you're young to accomplish what you want to, meet people, date, make mistakes, travel, all the good ish life has to offer... the rest will fall into place.
  • DrewT

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    Jun 19, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    I feel this way about half the time. I'm getting better, since I used to feel this way 90% of the time.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    running11 said
    DoomsDayAlpaca saidAnyone ever feel like they are in a situation in their life in which they would like to be with someone but feel they just aren't "good enough"? This isn't a whiny emo topic, I've just gotten used to the idea of being alone and starting to wonder if that's some kind of sign of a downward spiral into early gay spinsterdom.


    You're 22, you're handsome, and have stuff going for you-- why worry about being alone? just because it's not happening right now, doesn't mean it won't. take the time while you're young to accomplish what you want to, meet people, date, make mistakes, travel, all the good ish life has to offer... the rest will fall into place.


    He's right. You have your entire life ahead of you. Be easy about this. Things tend to unravel in mysterious ways. Sometimes you might not see it, but doesn't mean that these things that you have always wanted aren't already set in motion working towards your ultimate goal. icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    You're 22, start freaking out when you're 40. I think that there's someone for everyone, and you'll (we'll) find him eventuallyicon_cool.gif
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    jprichva saidOh now, gay spinsterdom isn't the end of the world. Trust me on this.


    I didn't quite get what he meant by that. I guess I am an optimistic person that I don't even know what that word means. It's not in my dictionary.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:45 AM GMT
    cityaznguy said
    jprichva saidOh now, gay spinsterdom isn't the end of the world. Trust me on this.


    I didn't quite get what he meant by that. I guess I am an optimistic person that I don't even know what that word means. It's not in my dictionary.


    It comes from spinster, a woman who remains single beyond the conventional age for marrying.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:51 AM GMT

    And your RJ moniker is so constructive and up beat too. Ok, I'm gonna tough love you a bit, come what may. Your attitude sucks, but that is beside the point...it's not normal. The thing that needs to be communicated more than anything is that normal gay guys attract like and I don't mean average looking gay guys attract average looking gay guys, which alludes the same for "hot" guys, no. MENTALLY SOUND gay guys attract like, which means, he could look like anything from 1 to 10, but he'll be attracted to someone who's personality isn't frighteningly hypo. If you feel this melancholy, fun sapping way all the time, it is being transmitted through vibes. Predators maybe, will attract to these vibes like the man eaters they are, but your normal guys won't even be detracted by it, they just won't see you. You would, in essence, be fulfilling a self prophecy, that you do not cut muster. Please, don't be like poor Mary.

    .......................................................

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    Jun 19, 2011 4:53 AM GMT

    jprichva saidOh now, gay spinsterdom isn't the end of the world. Trust me on this.


    It's a crime if you are still a...bachelor.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:58 AM GMT
    I was just asking myself 5 minutes before I logged on: "Will I ever have a guy?" I don't know what it's like to have one. I've never really been loved by anyone.
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    Jun 19, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    And your RJ moniker is so constructive and up beat too. Ok, I'm gonna tough love you a bit, come what may. Your attitude sucks, but that is beside the point...it's not normal. The thing that needs to be communicated more than anything is that normal gay guys attract like and I don't mean average looking gay guys attract average looking gay guys, which alludes the same for "hot" guys, no. MENTALLY SOUND gay guys attract like, which means, he could look like anything from 1 to 10, but he'll be attracted to someone who's personality isn't frighteningly hypo. If you feel this melancholy, fun sapping way all the time, it is being transmitted through vibes. Predators maybe, will attract to these vibes like the man eaters they are, but your normal guys won't even be detracted by it, they just won't see you. You would, in essence, be fulfilling a self prophecy, that you do not cut muster. Please, don't be like poor Mary.

    .......................................................



    Um...ouch? I'm a little too mentally sound for someone in my situation (everyone around me thinks I'm emotionally detached from myself which is very far from the truth). When I'm with my friends I'm the life of the party, I'm the guy people go too when they need cheering up or someone who is just a good person to be around icon_razz.gif. My personal thoughts and feelings on my love life have zero impact in how I interact with/present myself to others.
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    Jun 19, 2011 5:10 AM GMT

    Oh, but how we feel inside does show to the outside world. Perceptive people will see exactly how you feel personally about yourself, that's why they say a smile increases your face value, that's cliche, but it's a good start toward showing your bright side. I know...you smile all the time, even though your text above would imply differently. I could only go by what you said.

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    Jun 19, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    cityaznguy said
    jprichva saidOh now, gay spinsterdom isn't the end of the world. Trust me on this.


    I didn't quite get what he meant by that. I guess I am an optimistic person that I don't even know what that word means. It's not in my dictionary.


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    Jun 19, 2011 5:19 AM GMT
    In the gay world, you're not worthy of love unless your body fat percentage is below 10%.
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    Jun 19, 2011 5:19 AM GMT

    jprichva said
    Well, I"m either a bachelor or a spinster


    Don't coddle him, dear. Inform him of his mistake. Tap into your inner Caslon.

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    Jun 19, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
    miamimasseur saidIn the gay world, you're not worthy of love unless your body fat percentage is below 10%.


    Sir then I will probably never be loved. I should try girls.
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    Jun 19, 2011 5:25 AM GMT
    Man everyone is giving really good advice, I really appreciate it guys. I know I'm only 22 (23 in less then a month!) , I worry about the future a lot. I've got certain personal problems that leave me wondering how many good years I actually have, and we all know how tough it can be meeting guys if you aren't in top form.

    That and I'm sort of a romantic.
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    Jun 19, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    CHIdude said
    miamimasseur saidIn the gay world, you're not worthy of love unless your body fat percentage is below 10%.


    Sir then I will probably never be loved. I should try girls.



    lol, the world is bigger than that, you goofy. You most certainly will be loved.

    -Doug
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    Jun 19, 2011 7:31 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    CHIdude said
    miamimasseur saidIn the gay world, you're not worthy of love unless your body fat percentage is below 10%.


    Sir then I will probably never be loved. I should try girls.



    lol, the world is bigger than that, you goofy. You most certainly will be loved.

    -Doug


    THANKS DOUG ;)