Top 10 things that determine happiness. Which one do you need to work on the most?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    I'd say the one I need to work harder on is "#6 Thinking Ahead."


    http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1LhprK/www.mint.com/blog/trends/things-that-determine-happiness-10152010/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    I would say…

    #8, I have no friends. None that I can see regularly or easily contact.
    #6, I don’t think ahead very well. I don’t have the mental prowess.
    #5, I suck at everything.
    #4, I have absolutely zero control over my own life.
    #3, Success would be defined as the complete opposite of me.
    And #1, I loathe myself more than anything else in this and any other reality.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    I've yet to work on #10: Short Memory. My memory for things is far too good.. icon_cry.gif
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    #5
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Jun 19, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    I think #8 is a little.... absurd. I don't see how being an introvert makes you more prone to depression and having a shorter life span. I am an introvert by nature, and I don't think I am anymore prone to depression than extroverts. Interestingly enough, I've found more extroverts to be more prone to depression than introverts - just speaking from experience.

    I'd like to add there is a HUGE difference between calling some random whoever your friend, and someone who knows you well... appreciates your company... and is more than willing to help you if ask for it. I can't speak for most people, but I'm incredibly particular about who I claim as friends. I don't have a ton of friends, but I do have a few close friends. Extroverts, for what is it worth, have an entirely different concept of what constitutes a "friend" under most circumstances.
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:16 AM GMT
    I enjoyed it...Something to think about
    thanks for the post!:
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    Jun 19, 2011 12:12 PM GMT
    #2 sounds a bit far-fetched. No matter what the studies have shown, I find it impossible to imply that emotions like happiness are actually inherited, determined by birth.Although they can prove that depression actually may run in families (like Ernest Hemingway). I don't thing it plays a big role to be listed at #2. Of course good genes and a privileged upbringing would take someone far in life but not necessarily happy.

    I would say I would have to work on #1. The rest of the list is useless if I can't try to love myself at first.I need to find my mojo, feel good factor or whatever they call it these days.

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    Jun 19, 2011 12:15 PM GMT
    im ok on all of them except the friends one, after HS my friends left the state and even tho im an extrovert and love people i usually work, go to the gym, come home to some TV and fall asleep. no friends included.

    i need more icon_sad.gif
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    Jun 19, 2011 12:18 PM GMT
    I need to work on liking myself... #1. I often value myself so poorly that I let people walk all over me.
  • masculumpedes

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    Jun 19, 2011 12:21 PM GMT
    #2. Good Genes....icon_eek.gif
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    Jun 19, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    There are a couple on the list (I am extremely introverted), but happiness is not important to me, never has been. Just by being alive and living my life, I will experience some happiness, as well as all the other emotions that humans can experience.
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    Jun 19, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    Y_R_E_Wanna_B said IAnd #1, I loathe myself more than anything else in this and any other reality.

    No wonder you've got a problem.
    If you can indulge yourself a little, the other issues will fall into place. But first you have to believe in your own worth.
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    Jun 19, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    Well, given the collapse of my life the last 6 months, seems like I have a lot of work today, especially on #'s 1, 3, 8, & a little 10.
  • papayachalice

    Posts: 58

    Jun 19, 2011 10:54 PM GMT
    maybe "Having a short memory"? Does this mean to be more forgiving?
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:05 PM GMT
    It's a link? Oy. Can someone copy paste the ten here so that I don't have to click it. I hate clicking links within a forum.
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    Alpha_Muscle saidI need to work on liking myself... #1. I often value myself so poorly that I let people walk all over me.



    We not only like you , we also love you. icon_smile.gif
    You have probably touched and enriched more lives than you could ever imagine possible. We are all special in our own unique and talented way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    Probably a little bit of all of them.
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    Jun 20, 2011 4:42 PM GMT
    My main problem was 10 - letting go of grudges... I bumped into that wall not too long before I entered into a depression, and Im sure that exacerbated the anxiety attacks and the depression as well..... During which pretty much all of them went downhill, and I turned out doing badly on all aspects 1 to 10

    Now that Im out of it the depression, and Im pretty much back to normal, I actually thought of the people that I had been ruminating grudgefully about, (including my father whom I had continually begrudged since my parents' divorce), saying to myself... "what the heck man, so what if they are shitty assholes, nobody is perfect" and I called them and talked to them quite easily without any problems... THat was a big relief.... but it took me while to get that far, you always bump back into yourself when it comes to these things eh?
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    Jun 20, 2011 8:03 PM GMT
    Greenhopper saidMy main problem was 10 - letting go of grudges... I bumped into that wall not too long before I entered into a depression, and Im sure that exacerbated the anxiety attacks and the depression as well..... During which pretty much all of them went downhill, and I turned out doing badly on all aspects 1 to 10

    Now that Im out of it the depression, and Im pretty much back to normal, I actually thought of the people that I had been ruminating grudgefully about, (including my father whom I had continually begrudged since my parents' divorce), saying to myself... "what the heck man, so what if they are shitty assholes, nobody is perfect" and I called them and talked to them quite easily without any problems... THat was a big relief.... but it took me while to get that far, you always bump back into yourself when it comes to these things eh?


    Good for you. Nicely done. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 21, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    CHIdude saidIt's a link? Oy. Can someone copy paste the ten here so that I don't have to click it. I hate clicking links within a forum.



    You hate pressing a button??? (Slaps CHIdude hard across the face with a swift back-hand motion) icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2011 5:45 AM GMT
    I need to work on number 10...I really do have to learn to let go of things.
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    Jun 21, 2011 7:17 PM GMT
    I have a little problem with #10 I tend to be scatter brained which makes it hard to focus.

    I'm currently working on #1 life has knocked me down several times, I have just recently been dumped, and I have a tendancy to be inpulsive and then regret my decisions. I also have a bit of a guild complex that prevents me from letting things go and loving myself completly. I've quit drinking and smoking so far and have maintained focus on working out dieting and being sucessful and work so it's a start. I'm getting there.
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    Jun 21, 2011 7:26 PM GMT
    CHIdude saidIt's a link? Oy. Can someone copy paste the ten here so that I don't have to click it. I hate clicking links within a forum.


    Here you go! icon_biggrin.gif

    No.10 – Having a short memory
    Are you one to hold grudges? Do you need the jaws of life to pry forgiveness out of you? Well, don’t expect these attributes to contribute to your happiness or to your overall health for that matter. This ability to forgive and forget, to go with the flow, is frequently cited by researchers of centenarians as being a key factor in their ability to live to see their 100th birthday.
    No.9 – Exacting fairness
    According to a recently published study in the prestigious journal Nature, people derive more happiness from scenarios and situations that result in a perceived fairness for everyone involved, even when this fairness goes against self-interest or comes at some personal cost. In short, researchers at Rutgers found that the reward centers in the brain light up in situations in which people are treated equally.
    No.8 – Having lots of friendships
    Extroverts are happier than introverts and they live longer lives, in part because they can spend time in the company of friends and family or they can spend time alone, according to happiness researcher Ed Diener. Like letting go of grudges and going with the flow, being extroverted and having a wide social circle is a major factor in whether someone considers themselves happy or not, as well as an often-cited reason to explain how some people live to be 100 or older. At any rate, it’s a reason to justify spending a little time at work on social networking sites.
    No.7 – Being spiritual
    The results of a collaborative, multinational study that involved over 166,000 people showed a clear correlation between a person’s “strength of religious affiliation and frequency of attendance at worship services” and their self-reported levels of happiness and satisfaction with their lives. How is this correlation explained? Researchers postulate that this increased involvement in a spiritual circle means more friends, a wider support network and a higher degree of hopefulness.
    No.6 – Thinking ahead
    In his book Stumbling on Happiness, Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert argues that happiness is derived from the ability to accurately project what will in the future make us happy — not those things that actually do. He notes that we are the only species that truly considers the future, and this ability to think ahead and to imagine the future is “the defining aspect of our humanity.”
    According to Gilbert, studies support the idea that we enjoy thinking into the future because more often than not, it’s something of a daydream, and in daydreams we are at our most successful. Furthermore, because imagining the future and what actually happens in that future are often at odds, many people derive far more happiness from the anticipation of a future event than the actual event.
    No.5 – Developing a skill
    According to psychology professor Dr. Timothy A. Pychyl, the route to happiness is simple enough, “Live it, don’t buy it.” This is especially relevant in the modern world, where instant gratification can be purchased — but only to a point, before it hits a wall.
    He quotes a professional base jumper, who says, “You’ve got to have the passion to do your time. If you haven’t done the time, you just can’t get there.” He goes on to argue that only by paying one’s dues through time, effort, devotion, and experience can we, “develop the rich experiences that make life meaningful.”
    No.4 – Having personal control over one’s life
    Where might you find unhappy people with low morale? Those places where people no longer feel in personal control of their lives, whether it’s a nursing home or a prison, because control equates to happiness. In his book Satisfaction, Emory University psychiatrist Gregory Berns makes the point by distinguishing between pleasure and satisfaction, “While you might find pleasure by happenstance, satisfaction can arise only by the conscious decision to do something. And this makes all the difference in the world, because it is only your own actions for which you may take responsibility and credit.”
    No.3 – Defining success
    There’s a saying that no matter how talented or successful you think you are, there’s always someone who’s got a leg up on you. People who compare themselves against those people will always come out the loser, even when the comparison is neither appropriate nor consequential. A skilled dentist with a thriving practice can’t reasonably compare his level of success to Robert De Niro and expect to feel good. If he made comparisons within his own peer group or against his own expectations, however, he’ll not only come out more favorably, but he’ll be happier too.
    As Gallup psychologist Shane Lopez explained to Psychology Today writer Abby Ellin, “Self-referential people see themselves as the marker. They care about their own performance, not how they measure up compared to that guy over there…. The only competitor is the self.”
    No.2 – Good genes
    According to “The Science of Lasting Happiness,” an article by Marina Krakovsky published by Scientific American in 2007, “studies of twins and adoptees have shown that about 50% of each person’s happiness is determined from birth”, what’s loosely termed as a “genetic set point.” The weight of this variable on determining our happiness is supported by hedonic adaptation; according to this theory, even if we win the lottery, within a year or so of coming into this kind of material good fortune, we adapt to it and revert back to whatever level of happiness we were at before.
    No.1 – Liking yourself
    Liking oneself is arguably the principal characteristic of happy people. It’s been revealed in study after study after study: happy people like themselves. They think they’re pretty great people. They have high self-esteem, meaning they think highly of their own intelligence, they consider themselves to have strong ethical standards and to have far fewer prejudices than others.
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    Jun 21, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    I love #10.. Having a short memory and not holding grudges.
    People will screw up and hurt others by nature. Its what people do. Those that hold on to it and can't let it go, are only holding on to pain and sadness. I usually forget the bad and remember the good in every situation. It's very liberating.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Jun 21, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    Hm... Pop psychology.... What was the empirical definition of happiness? icon_neutral.gif