ASIAN MEN IN THE HIERARCHY OF ATTRACTION IN THE GAY COMMUNITY.

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    Jun 19, 2011 10:23 AM GMT
    Having a great ripped, gym built body, is something that every gay man can be attracted to or dream about. However, racial preferences in the gay community has always had its standards; in which asians are never really been quite a part of. In America and what is showcased in its numerous media outlets; the typical depiction is of a white man, or at least something within that frame: that prominent nose, wide forehead, strong jaw and statuesque broad frame, is always considered beautiful.

    But it is sad to say that asians throughout the course of history has been desexualized in numerous ways because they are typically never shown as being masculine, robust or assertive, and hence, has affected the gay culture's image of the asian male. To simply quote, "a low percentage of the gay community find asian men desireable." From my personal experience and the expectations laid ahead of me with blind dates, social settings: asian men are generally looked over. Take this site for example. I am a mixed breed: half australian and half thai, you can say, "your somewhat classic interracial person, white/asian." Yet somehow when I post my profile on dating sites, occasional "looking for possible.....," posts and responses to ads, the mention of the race "asian" automatically deters other men from taking an interest in me without even seeing what I look like, or even giving the chance to know me. Let's face the candid truth, " A book is judged by its cover in this community."

    "Don't get me started on hookups." There's this perception about asian men; and how they're not part of the "lottery gene pool," how they are tiny, feminine, have small penises, hairless and child like. And as much as I want to say that these men are prejudice, I really can't; because, society and the media has never portrayed "the asian male" as anything less. And hence embedded the idea in the "gay culture" particularly, that asian men do not fit the profile of the masculine man.

    "Why is that." There is the occassional hang ups, "not interested," " I don't go for asians," "I don't do asians," "your not my type," "It's getting late." When I am in public, I will say people can't tell I'm generally half asian, I'm 6'0 slightly bigger frame and you can say a cross between Russell wong (Vanishing Son, Dim Sum Funeral) and George Eads (CSI, Savannah) . What is sad is that from time to time I would hear gay men say, "They don't really go for asians," w/o really saying why; And when asked, "What's your nationality?" "I'm part asian." "Oh well, I would go for you because you don't really look that asian," or something within those lines. "Excuse Me!!" I am somehow an exception because I look a little more on the white side. "I gotta stick up for my asian community." It's not a compliment, it's offensive.

    All I'm saying is just be a little more open and break down the stereotype, We are not a fetish, we are not a "give it a try," and not all of us are "POTATO QUEENS." And we certainly don't see it as a privelege or a prize to be with somone other than our own racial group. We are "MEN," Beautiful Men.
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:13 AM GMT
    fromthepacific saidHaving a great ripped, gym built body, is something that every gay man can be attracted to or dream about. However, racial preferences in the gay community has always had its standards; in which asians are never really been quite a part of. In America and what is showcased in its numerous media outlets; the typical depiction is of a white man, or at least something within that frame: that prominent nose, wide forehead, strong jaw and statuesque broad frame, is always considered beautiful.

    But it is sad to say that asians throughout the course of history has been desexualized in numerous ways because they are typically never shown as being masculine, robust or assertive, and hence, has affected the gay culture's image of the asian male. To simply quote, "a low percentage of the gay community find asian men desireable." From my personal experience and the expectations laid ahead of me with blind dates, social settings: asian men are generally looked over. Take this site for example. I am a mixed breed: half australian and half thai, you can say, "your somewhat classic interracial person, white/asian." Yet somehow when I post my profile on dating sites, occasional "looking for possible.....," posts and responses to ads, the mention of the race "asian" automatically deters other men from taking an interest in me without even seeing what I look like, or even giving the chance to know me. Let's face the candid truth, " A book is judged by its cover in this community."

    "Don't get me started on hookups." There's this perception about asian men; and how they're not part of the "lottery gene pool," how they are tiny, feminine, have small penises, hairless and child like. And as much as I want to say that these men are prejudice, I really can't; because, society and the media has never portrayed "the asian male" as anything less. And hence embedded the idea in the "gay culture" particularly, that asian men do not fit the profile of the masculine man.

    "Why is that." There is the occassional hang ups, "not interested," " I don't go for asians," "I don't do asians," "your not my type," "It's getting late." When I am in public, I will say people can't tell I'm generally half asian, I'm 6'0 slightly bigger frame and you can say a cross between Russell wong (Vanishing Son, Dim Sum Funeral) and George Eads (CSI, Savannah) . What is sad is that from time to time I would hear gay men say, "They don't really go for asians," w/o really saying why; And when asked, "What's your nationality?" "I'm part asian." "Oh well, I would go for you because you don't really look that asian," or something within those lines. "Excuse Me!!" I am somehow an exception because I look a little more on the white side. "I gotta stick up for my asian community." It's not a compliment, it's offensive.

    All I'm saying is just be a little more open and break down the stereotype, We are not a fetish, we are not a "give it a try," and not all of us are "POTATO QUEENS." And we certainly don't see it as a privelege or a prize to be with somone other than our own racial group. We are "MEN," Beautiful Men.


    If you believe that there's nothing wrong with you as an Asian and you have a great, gym ripped body, using your own words, why do you not have a picture of yourself on your profile?
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:26 AM GMT
    i wasn't refering to myself when I said that, I was refering to what most men in the community generally look for and find attractive.
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:53 AM GMT
    I'm not sure this persuasive essay has any truth. The subject could be interchanged with man/woman or any ethnicity and still make not make a logical argument.
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    Jun 19, 2011 12:34 PM GMT
    Oh no, another Asian thread. How many are currently on the go?
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    Jun 19, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    fromthepacific saidi wasn't refering to myself when I said that, I was refering to what most men in the community generally look for and find attractive.


    How do you know what most men find attractive, if you aren't using your own perception? Either you did an official survey or you went by hear say; that's not an official survey.

    Ok, so there are more gay white men with the balls and the means to come out, everyone else's family dynamics are usually more deeply cemented. I mean, white people can be deeply religious and bible bash their own kids until their kids are too afraid to indulge in licking an ice cream, let alone anything else, but blacks take it to a whole other level of Shut The Book Up. As a matter of my fact, I think black people can be startling more promiscuous because their poor sense of ethics have been that damaged by the crush of religious coercion, because black parents don't even practice what they preach (hello, get married), and the children grow up to actually reject the religious constraints that were forced upon them.

    White parents can be strict, but do they have anything on Asian parents; I don't think so. This is a good thing in my sight, leads to more Asians doing exceedingly well in school and their adult life looks pretty picture perfect from the outside. Inside, they become pretty bound by their family values, which makes it much harder for them to accept being homosexual to the point of being as out as white men are.

    Native American and Hispanic family dynamics...look pretty patriarchal. Good luck getting the village elders to sign off on butt sex.

    Look at white people though. Take for example: their child is named Edward, very early on it is made clear to Edward that he's in a good position, and that he should value his personal decisions: "aim high, Edward, don't slouch, Edward, be your own person, Edward, this'll all be yours someday, Edward". I'm not making fun of it, it's an example of The Noble Mentality, a kind of thinking that says: what we do is good because we do it. See, white people like what they do and are far more willing to twist the rules to do what they want to do, that's a product of different upbringing and values. It's also the reason there are more of them out.

    Now minorities, often have a Slave Mentality (I did not name the term), it's a mentality: that says, what others do is bad because they do it (mainly referring to the Nobles). This is why when you listen to black, Asian, NDN parents you'll hear a lot of, "Don't do that, you don't want to be like "them." do you?" Where as white people (Noble mentality), you'll hear a lot of, "don't do that, you don't want to be less like us." There is a difference and the latter is far more relenting than the former.It allows the white man who already thinks what he does is right because he does it to also think, whatever he does makes him more right because he does it." So they do right: come out, dominate the scene, and make it look easy, but it isn't malicious, they are just doing what comes easier for them to do. In the meantime, other races struggle more because not only is what they do wrong because they shouldn't be doing it, but it's even more wrong the more they advance it, ie: coming out, complete disclosure, getting married, and separating family values from their own.

    So basically, take more of a Noble Mentality look at this: you're right to be out and what "they" do doesn't really matter; you aren't focused on that - focus on what you are doing. Personally, you feel hot, gym bodied, and in a great position, then so it will be. The comparison isn't needed. I have personally adopted the Noble Mentality in my personal life and I suggest that change. It's the best thing white people ever cooked up.

    What I have expressed above are my own views: I tried to be sensitive and I tried to be tactful, but some of what I said was going to sound hard because it is hard, the nature of it is hard. I DO NOT generalizes; what I said above is based on experiences and my own perceptions of true facts. It's all I could say to try and transmit my point. Do not feel I am directly telling you how the world is or how your life WAS. I'm not, I really am not interested in knowing you that well. I am interested to get my point across. I only write this disclaimer because I touched on racial customs/values, a sensitive subject. As usual, I feel like even if your viewpoint is glaringly wrong, that you at least explain it adequately, which I hope I did. If you feel compelled to challenge my viewpoint, adequately explain your counter viewpoint.
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    Jun 19, 2011 12:38 PM GMT
    ^Exactly right
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    Jun 19, 2011 1:08 PM GMT
    tl;dr

    Let me just bring this up: look at these three guys' profiles then decide what you wanna do with your post


    http://www.realjock.com/avadakedavra
    even though he's a bitch icon_razz.gif, he's a hot bitch.


    http://www.realjock.com/_2theTEE
    just recently won MOTD, nice guy too


    http://www.realjock.com/PT83
    I have no idea who this kid is but DAYUM I'm gonna find out. Kid, if you become the next MOTD I want some advertising service monetary compensation because I posted your profile link here.


    I am sure there are VERY HIGH percentage of guys who find these guys attractive. Maybe when I feel like it I'll come back and actually read the OP's msg

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    Jun 20, 2011 7:07 PM GMT
    ^All three are bad-ass. You'd have to be asian-blind to not find these men empirically attractive. icon_cool.gif
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    Jun 20, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    Another "Asians aren't found attractive in the gay community" thread?

    You'd think the posters would learn that they're just as attractive as everyone else. :/
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    Jun 20, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    Ive said it once and I will say it again.

    Its not that we dont find asains attractive, we are just big racists.

    Take this senario. Im getting hit up by two individuals on Grindr lately, one is Latino the other is Asian. Im drawn to the Latino. One may think it is because he treats me like a person, has great abs, and huge arms, but its actually because I dont like Asian people.

    My name is Chainers, and Im a racist. And Im going to make sure everyone knows it!
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    Jun 21, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    My name is Chainers, and Im a racist. And Im going to make sure everyone knows it!

    Ok you big troll that really isn't necessary. Asians are really attractive, every nationality has their qualities and if someone is to turn someone down just because of something so meaningless than I wouldn't want someone so shallow around me no matter how hot they actually are haha
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    I have to say I don't know that I'd have the confidence to pursue an Asian guy...I know that it's silly and probably my own ignorance, but I just kind of assume Asian guys don't like black guys (or maybe just me). But I find many Asian guys attractive; there is this super hot Asian guy (not sure of his ethnicity but perhaps Korean?) at my gym...he's wow looking.
  • Iakona

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    Jun 22, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    I think things are changing.... after being in the fashion biz for 13 years.... the idea of beauty is changing (as it always is).... Beauty comes in all forms... I see a lot of threads like this and it makes me sad.... The thing young gay asian men need is self esteem....
    There is nothing more attractive then a confident man.... Guess what... as an asian man, we are exotic, we have smooth skin, we do not age quickly, we have eyes that can by mysterious.....
    Once you are comfortable in your own skin, and confident with what you have, the world is going to open up. No, not everybody is going to be attracted to you, but this is a big world, there is somebody for everyone.

    Guess that's my two cents.
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    Jun 22, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    lalala18 said
    Chainers said
    My name is Chainers, and Im a racist. And Im going to make sure everyone knows it!

    Ok you big troll that really isn't necessary. Asians are really attractive, every nationality has their qualities and if someone is to turn someone down just because of something so meaningless than I wouldn't want someone so shallow around me no matter how hot they actually are haha


    It was a joke buddy. I'm not racist and think Asians can be attractive. I was trying to show the op how crazy he sounds.
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    Jun 27, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    Iakona saidI think things are changing.... after being in the fashion biz for 13 years.... the idea of beauty is changing (as it always is).... Beauty comes in all forms... I see a lot of threads like this and it makes me sad.... The thing young gay asian men need is self esteem....
    There is nothing more attractive then a confident man.... Guess what... as an asian man, we are exotic, we have smooth skin, we do not age quickly, we have eyes that can by mysterious.....
    Once you are comfortable in your own skin, and confident with what you have, the world is going to open up. No, not everybody is going to be attracted to you, but this is a big world, there is somebody for everyone.

    Guess that's my two cents.


    Well said. icon_cool.gif
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    Jun 27, 2011 2:52 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    lalala18 said
    Chainers said
    My name is Chainers, and Im a racist. And Im going to make sure everyone knows it!

    Ok you big troll that really isn't necessary. Asians are really attractive, every nationality has their qualities and if someone is to turn someone down just because of something so meaningless than I wouldn't want someone so shallow around me no matter how hot they actually are haha


    It was a joke buddy. I'm not racist and think Asians can be attractive. I was trying to show the op how crazy he sounds.


    I totally got the joke. icon_lol.gif

    That being said, from what I've seen on this site, he's only slightly crazy. Asians aren't the lowest. They're 2nd lowest. That bottom category is reserved for black men. As a man w/ African ancestry coursing through his veins, I do find that disappointing, but I'm not gonna sit and get depressed about it. There are plenty of men out there who are able to look at a person's skin tone as only one part of an attractive whole.

    I'm w/ Iacona on this one.
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    Jun 27, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    the problem is that there's an imbalance in what is being shown to us as the image of beauty. We don't see asian men glorified in North America. Normally it's not an issue because mostly white people live here.

    In Asia, they have a lot of white people in their media, and that has become an image of beauty. That's 2/2 societies trained to like white and 0/2 to like asian.

    For lowest, I'd say it's rarest to see "looking for asian top" and "looking for black bottom". The flip of those are more popular.

    And I don't think it's offensive for someone to say "I don't get attracted to asians, but because you are half asian, I find you more attractive than full asian". You took that to mean "you are better than full asian". Someone's attraction to you doesn't determine your self-worth.

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    Jun 28, 2011 4:08 PM GMT
    I'm asian and I find any asian/ half asian gay man who likes to post this kind of thread.... SoooOOOOOoooOOOOoooo lame !!! only some low self-esteem, lame-ass half-asian/ whatever asian guy like you would come up with such a dumb title. ugh! *eyes rolling*
    So what if somehow the majority of the white gay men that you know/met up with prefer their own race. I think you should go out to any asian country and see for yourself. it's the same everywhere in fact....where some indians would prefer to date only indians... some koreans would only wanna date koreans... some chinese would only date bla bla bla..... gay community/str8 commnity, sh*ts the same. just deal with it. If some people wanna be rude about it and say things like "I don't do asians" just let them be. Keep it simple n find someone who's interested in you. stop using racial discrimination as an excuse to make some white gay men to like you.
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    Jun 28, 2011 4:20 PM GMT
    I'm asian and I find any asian/ half asian gay man who likes to post this kind of thread.... SoooOOOOOoooOOOOoooo lame !!! only some low self-esteem, lame-ass half-asian/ whatever asian guy like you would come up with such a dumb title. ugh! *eyes rolling*
    So what if somehow the majority of the white gay men that you know/met up with prefer their own race. I think you should go out to any asian country and see for yourself. it's the same everywhere in fact....where some indians would prefer to date only indians... some koreans would only wanna date koreans... some chinese would only date bla bla bla..... gay community/str8 commnity, sh*ts the same. just deal with it. If some people wanna be rude about it and say things like "I don't do asians" just let them be. Keep it simple n find someone who's interested in you. stop using racial discrimination as an excuse to make some white gay men to like you.
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    Jun 28, 2011 4:20 PM GMT
    life would be much easier when you born pretty, thats all I gotta say. No matter what your race
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    Jun 28, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    I'm asian and I find any asian/ half asian gay man who likes to post this kind of thread.... SoooOOOOOoooOOOOoooo lame !!! only some low self-esteem, lame-ass half-asian/ whatever asian guy like you would come up with such a dumb title. ugh! *eyes rolling*
    So what if somehow the majority of the white gay men that you know/met up with prefer their own race. I think you should go out to any asian country and see for yourself. it's the same everywhere in fact....where some indians would prefer to date only indians... some koreans would only wanna date koreans... some chinese would only date bla bla bla..... gay community/str8 commnity, sh*ts the same. just deal with it. If some people wanna be rude about it and say things like "I don't do asians" just let them be. Keep it simple n find someone who's interested in you. stop using racial discrimination as an excuse to make some white gay men to like you.
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    Jun 28, 2011 4:54 PM GMT
    Im very sorry, but this stuff about the Asian man being emasculinated in the Western culture is nonsense.... the first ever famous Asian man in Western pop culture is a poster boy for masculinity:

    bruce-lee-jeet-kun-do.jpg

    I will even add, that in my experience, Asian culture tends to be far MORE "macho" than western culture... and women enjoy far LESS equality... at least in China and India, the big tigres.. the story is different in South East Asia and the Pacific islands, where "in-between" genders are readily accepted
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    Jun 28, 2011 4:55 PM GMT
    closer85 saidI have to say I don't know that I'd have the confidence to pursue an Asian guy...I know that it's silly and probably my own ignorance, but I just kind of assume Asian guys don't like black guys (or maybe just me). But I find many Asian guys attractive; there is this super hot Asian guy (not sure of his ethnicity but perhaps Korean?) at my gym...he's wow looking.


    Yes its silly, go for em..
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    Jun 28, 2011 6:39 PM GMT
    Quite honestly, my response to profiles that state "not into Asians (or any specific ethnicity)" is just to shrug if it off. I'm not into guys who are not into Asians, so no loss there.