Traditional vs Non-Tradition lifestyles

  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Jun 19, 2011 4:07 PM GMT
    Okay, so there is a big background story to this.
    I was born and grew up in Saint Louis, Missouri, but also Powersite, Missouri with my grandma which is a very small southern missouri town...like I had 5 neighbors. Now a lot of my family lives in Los Angeles and so I go there a lot to see them, but still have family in Saint Louis. I went to high school in Saint Louis and I was very much a part of that "private high school crowd" except for the first two years which is another long story, but anyway everytime I go visit I hang with some friends and I always think I would love to raise my family in Clayton or in the hills of Chesterfield, have them go to a private school and play sports and what not....Then there is the other part of me that wants that non-traditional lifestyle where i live in the city and walk everywhere etc. etc.

    So I just wanted y'alls ideas and if any of you live that suburban life or city life.

    NOTE! Traditional is relative to where you live. For a midwestern town this is a lot of what we consider traditional and non-traditional.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    I would suggest San Diego rather than LA. Lots of different types of communities, and LA isn't that far away.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jun 19, 2011 4:25 PM GMT
    I dunno, the traditional lifestyle seems so....... traditional...

    Raise some kids in a small town, go to a private school, live a sheltered and otherwise boring life.... see the same people everyday that look just like u, act like u, etc. Boring with a capitol B...

    I would opt for the non-traditional lifestyle of the city, more diversity, more things to see and do, etc. Get exposed to all kinds of things u may like or dislike, the beauty is u pick and choose what fits ur life and leave out the things that don't.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    I grew up in a small town near Washington, D.C. I wouldn't trade all the years I lived there. I had a happy childhood. I went to public school and made friends with many of my neighbors. My parents let me pursue all the activities that I was interested in. All in all, I have nothing negative to say about my experiences as a kid. Although I became an open-minded person because I already was since a little boy. My parents were too.

    But I lived there during a time when the DC suburbs were spreading like wildfire, so what felt a small, rural town at first quickly became a crowded, urbanized area since so many people from the north moved towards the south. The area grew as I grew, so it changed a lot. But it was interesting to witness all the changes over the years. Now I find myself in another area of the DC suburbs and have no complaints. I can't imagine myself living in a big city
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    I can't really tell you for sure. I grew up in a suburb of Minneapolis, which has benefits and disadvantages for me. For example, it was boring, the people were plastic, the businesses we chose were only reachable by car, and if you're like me, who wants to buy a house eventually, the houses in my hometown are cookie-cutter and tacky, but the parks were nice and some of the schools weren't a joke. However, in college, I'm living a sort-of urban life, since I've got more choices in my activities and I'm meeting more people than just nouveau voulez être riche white people with Chevy Suburbans, but I'm not really in an urban city ($5 says nobody knows where Mankato, MN even is), so I'm not sure what I'm missing out if I just moved to Minneapolis/St. Paul proper, Chicago, NYC, LA, Austin, etc.

    Just my two cents on the matter.
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    How is living in a city "non-traditional"?
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    Jun 19, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    Bullwinklemoos saidI can't really tell you for sure. I grew up in a suburb of Minneapolis, which has benefits and disadvantages for me. For example, it was boring, the people were plastic, the businesses we chose were only reachable by car, and if you're like me, who wants to buy a house eventually, the houses in my hometown are cookie-cutter and tacky, but the parks were nice and some of the schools weren't a joke. However, in college, I'm living a sort-of urban life, since I've got more choices in my activities and I'm meeting more people than just nouveau voulez être riche white people with Chevy Suburbans, but I'm not really in an urban city ($5 says nobody knows where Mankato, MN even is), so I'm not sure what I'm missing out if I just moved to Minneapolis/St. Paul proper, Chicago, NYC, LA, Austin, etc.

    Just my two cents on the matter.


    Please read 'The Geography of Nowhere' by James Howard Kunstler.

    Describes what you're talking about to a T.

  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Jun 19, 2011 5:25 PM GMT
    Faced a similar decision in recent years. I live in metro Orlando, which is urban sprawl not on the scale of LA but getting there. My family roots are in small town northeastern Indiana and at one point I'd thought about relocating there. After about three years of taking summer vacations up there I finally decided against the move.

    The good thing about life up there is all the commonalities people share: same culture, food, religion, schooling, etc. It tends to contribute to more openness and friendliness; there are more "givens" and you don't have to parse out so much about another person.

    The down side is that very sameness. People aren't rubes up there. Most are educated.They have cable TV and the Internet; they know the same things everyone does. But they aren't challenged by diversity in their day to day life. I would go to work and hear five different languages in one day. There's nothing inherently valuable about that, but it forces you to see that life is filtered in many different ways. Different customs and norms, beliefs, food...they are all different ways of interpreting the human condition and I think I get a broader perspective on life by confronting that every day.

    I love my family and still go up to visit every year, but I came to realize that I wouldn't have been happy living there.
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    Jun 19, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    tanlejos said
    Bullwinklemoos saidI can't really tell you for sure. I grew up in a suburb of Minneapolis, which has benefits and disadvantages for me. For example, it was boring, the people were plastic, the businesses we chose were only reachable by car, and if you're like me, who wants to buy a house eventually, the houses in my hometown are cookie-cutter and tacky, but the parks were nice and some of the schools weren't a joke. However, in college, I'm living a sort-of urban life, since I've got more choices in my activities and I'm meeting more people than just nouveau voulez être riche white people with Chevy Suburbans, but I'm not really in an urban city ($5 says nobody knows where Mankato, MN even is), so I'm not sure what I'm missing out if I just moved to Minneapolis/St. Paul proper, Chicago, NYC, LA, Austin, etc.

    Just my two cents on the matter.


    Please read 'The Geography of Nowhere' by James Howard Kunstler.

    Describes what you're talking about to a T.

    icon_biggrin.gif Thanks man.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Jun 19, 2011 5:50 PM GMT
    Your idea of "not-traditional lifestyle" is... living in a city? icon_neutral.gif
    Seriously? I think that's cute...

    Anyway, do what you want / think is best for the future family.
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    Jun 19, 2011 5:57 PM GMT
    No no way, no city living for me!!! i grew up on an island with a small city (population 150000), and on the edge of the urban area, so I was close to the sea, the beach, and the green hills.... Thats ideal, right in the middle between rural and urban
  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Jun 19, 2011 6:28 PM GMT
    neosyllogy saidYour idea of "not-traditional lifestyle" is... living in a city? icon_neutral.gif
    Seriously? I think that's cute...

    Anyway, do what you want / think is best for the future family.


    I'm not saying a city is non traditional, but as i said as a side note on my first post, it is non traditional for Saint Louis. We are defined by our county, not very much by our city. It is very very segregated and a good chunk of people that live in saint louis do the whole go to private school, then go to suburbs and live there and what not. This is not everyone in the suburbs, but a lot of people see the city as dangerous, or a place where young 20 somethings hang out.
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    Jun 19, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    I consider places like LA the suburbs and NYC the city. City life is so much more entertaining, I am totally moving to the suburbs when I am ready to retire and die tho, I hear it's less stressful that way.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jun 19, 2011 9:02 PM GMT
    Just live traditionally
    Who cares where you are
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    Jun 19, 2011 9:09 PM GMT
    You grew in rural southern Missouri? So your life was kind of like Winter's Bone?
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    Jun 19, 2011 9:11 PM GMT
    You should live however feels right for you. If you want to live in the heart of a bustling city, do that. If you want to live in a wooden cabin in the middle of nowhere, do that. There's no one right away to live.
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    Jun 19, 2011 9:23 PM GMT
    Why not just live outside of whichever city you most enjoy.
  • Life_Is_Good_...

    Posts: 109

    Jun 19, 2011 10:44 PM GMT
    MikeInSLC saidI would suggest San Diego rather than LA. Lots of different types of communities, and LA isn't that far away.


    I have to agree. San Diego. You will find a more laid back feeling here.
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:42 PM GMT
    I'll just say that I grew up in a diverse area outside of LA. I thank my parents for it. I feel that it's helped me be more open minded and cultured. And I have no hang-ups with meeting/associating with people from all walks of life; whether it be race, culture, or sub-culture.

    There's nothing wrong with a traditional southern upbringing. But as others have mentioned, it is somewhat sheltered. Ultimately, it's up to you and your husband, and the type of future you want to guide your kids into having.
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:48 PM GMT
    JackNWNJ saidHow is living in a city "non-traditional"?


    Yes, I was wondering the same thing. I think BOTH are subjective. What may be "traditional" to me, may not be the same for the "guy above me"...God, how I've learned to hate that phrase!!!
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    Jun 19, 2011 11:55 PM GMT
    Guys, in case you haven't cracked the code on this one..
    Traditional = having roots and connections to the southern cliques/families. Please note the usage of "private high school crowd".

    Like I said before, nothing wrong with a southern upbringing. It's really up to the OP and his husband.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jun 20, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    Where's the family coming from in the raising the family scenario. How are you reproducing?
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    Jun 20, 2011 12:28 AM GMT
    Hmm i prefer the traditional life style, but that is because it was how i was raised.. i love the city, but only for visiting.. i started my life in a small town and would like to end it in one as well..
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jun 20, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    I think living in the suburbs and commuting to work in the city (and going out after) is the most ideal option. One or the other is too extreme. The city is too crazy and busy busy busy, the suburbs too boring and nosey.


    As for traditional families and/or lifestyles, while that might be the goal for you, I'm not sure you'll find too many open-minded small towns in the south or midwest. You obviously would know better than me, it's just a hunch. But if you only have five neighbors and four are bible thumpers, it might not be so great.
  • ineedausernam...

    Posts: 118

    Jun 20, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    I go back and forth with what I want out of life but I'm pretty sure I'm going to raise my family in a city, preferably D.C. or NYC. It just feels right. I've grown up in the suburbs for the majority of my life and while I totally understand the draw to it but it's just not for me.