Waiters - Are They Often Gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2011 10:40 PM GMT
    I was forced into a very boring restaurant date with a female colleague, for whom I had arranged a deal (she had travelled to my town and had no one to dine with).

    At the restaurant the waiter was cute and we found out we are from the same state. At an opportune moment, I asked for his phone number and he gave me his (ok, he would probably not have dared to refuse a customer).

    In the time we were together, he was quite touchy-feely, and we shook hands. I have a useless Gaydar, which is wrong more often than it is right. I am going to wait a few days and ask him out. Does anyone know what percentage of waiters are often gay? If he refuses me, that means he is not. But even if he accepts, it does not mean anything: he may want friendship, he may want to hang out with someone he thinks can help him get on in life.....

    I am quite forward and have no hang-ups about openly saying to another guy that I am into guys. But what do you think of my chances - and has anyone ever done this before with their waiter???
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    Jun 20, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    Yes, do let us know how that works out for you. Hopefully he's not a serial killer!
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Jun 20, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    Percentage of waiters who are gay = 23.5%

    LIkelihood that he will go out with you = 61.7%
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jun 20, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    I was a waiter for a year and I am gay. That's about all the insight I can give you.
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    Jun 20, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    A few weeks before my college graduation, I went to this new restaurant in downtown that had just opened. I went there with several close friends and had drinks. The server who waited on us was nothing short of dreamy. When he took my order, he had this look in his eyes like you're the only person in the room with his attention. I was completely enamored. He did the same to my other friends (two a gay couple and the other my fruit fly). My two gay friends told me he was actually straight but knew exactly how to work gay customers. Boy did he ever because I totally left him a $4 tip for a $6 Mojito.
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    Jun 20, 2011 2:35 AM GMT
    mmm try writing your number on the bill.

    p.s. leave a good tip
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 2:35 AM GMT
    I wish. icon_redface.gif I've met some hot waiters.
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    Jun 20, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    When I lived in SF, many of the straight guys I worked with at one restaurant would pretend to be gay because they believed the customers gave better tips to gay servers. Something to think about, OP.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jun 20, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    Ironman4U saidPercentage of waiters who are gay = 23.5%

    LIkelihood that he will go out with you = 61.7%


    I'd say use these guidelines, especially with the pretty ones
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    I work for a higher end chain. Our front-of-house staff is approx 50 (bar, host, servers). Of that, 4 are gay.

    There is no universal statistic for what you're asking. They are just as likely, if not more likely to be straight than gay.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    They pander for tips. Bartenders do it, waiters do it...it's what most people would do. Don't take flirting at face value if they're counting on your money to sustain their lifestyle.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:08 AM GMT
    Waiters are never gay. You can delete the thread now. You're welcome icon_cool.gif
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:14 AM GMT
    cold saidI doubt anyone can give you the answers you're looking for...

    - If he refuses you, it doesn't mean he's not gay. It just means he's refused you. Maybe he's not interested in you or maybe he's life doesn't have room for you.
    - Nobody knows the statistics of how many people are gay let alone how many waiters are gay.
    - Nobody knows what your chances are.

    I think it's great that you can be so forward and confident. I think you've done everything you can and now it's in his hands. Hope he calls you back! Let us know how it goes.

    Co-sign! Want to know your findings. :3
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Jun 20, 2011 3:16 AM GMT
    Waiters are often gay - yes.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    I have met a gay waiter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    Many yes, depending on where you dine. Lots in NYC, cuz many are actors and such who work odd hours.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 20, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    Here in Kansas, I say it all depends on the establishment. In the country club where my office resides, there is a steakhouse. I don't think many of them are gay at all.. but there are other places were the percentage can be as high as 50% without doubt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:38 AM GMT
    I'm gay and a waiter for a college sports bar/resturant. there's a few of us not many though
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    I'm a waiter, but the other seven waiters are straight, so yeah...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 6:30 AM GMT
    I mean it really depends on where you go. Places where a lot of GLBT people frequent will have more GLBT staff for a number of reasons.

    But yeah, the two waiters I know are gay.
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    Jun 20, 2011 6:39 AM GMT
    Speak of the devil, just went to IHOP yesterday and saw a waiter that was pretty cute, but we didn't get to talk to him since he wasn't our waiter. So, it just so happened that one of my friends wanted to go out to breakfast this morning and we ended up going to the same IHOP. The guy was there working again, named Garrett. He immediately wanted our group (thought that was a good sign). He was shaky throughout the entire time we were there; Had trouble speaking when he asked me what I wanted, his hands shook when he handed me my change, and I caught a few glances.

    Well, I ended up leaving my number on my bill and asked him to text me, but haven't heard from him at all icon_sad.gif
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1980

    Jun 20, 2011 6:45 AM GMT
    I was a bus boy for a while during high school, and I thought it was hilarious that the all-male kitchen staff refused to consider waiting tables because they thought it seemed gay. They routinely referred to the waiters as "fags" even though most of them were straight. The kicker was the waiters made 3-4 times as much money.
    Meanwhile the "he-man" cooks were wearing aprons and hair nets. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 6:51 AM GMT
    Ironman4U saidPercentage of waiters who are gay = 23.5%

    LIkelihood that he will go out with you = 61.7%



    Ehh this is not right

    its closer to being:

    Percentage of waiters who are gay = 23.7%
    Likelihood that he will go out with you = 61.666666%
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    Jun 20, 2011 8:12 AM GMT
    Allathlete saidSpeak of the devil, just went to IHOP yesterday and saw a waiter that was pretty cute, but we didn't get to talk to him since he wasn't our waiter. So, it just so happened that one of my friends wanted to go out to breakfast this morning and we ended up going to the same IHOP. The guy was there working again, named Garrett. He immediately wanted our group (thought that was a good sign). He was shaky throughout the entire time we were there; Had trouble speaking when he asked me what I wanted, his hands shook when he handed me my change, and I caught a few glances.

    Well, I ended up leaving my number on my bill and asked him to text me, but haven't heard from him at all icon_sad.gif


    Allathlete: Maybe he is at a different stage of coming out or dealing with his sexuality? He quite possibly fancied you like mad, but who is to say that he has managed to overcome inhibitions we all had to start dating men, responding to phone calls? I am sure I would go weak at the knees if you were to show me any attention! You do not know what stage he is at.... If you would still like to meet him, why not try and go back there again (maybe on your own?), flash him a killer smile and just engage in small chat, while slipping in a great compliment on his figure/beauty, then say at the end: you have my number, call me!

    Also - maybe waiters work something like four days at a time, so he simply might not be free or might not want to appear too desperate or be simply weighing up phoning you or not. That is why I am going to wait until tomorrow with my waiter or maybe even the day after tomorrow...

    Thanks for all the other input, guys - I personally think this waiter was into me as a guy and ready to become my friend, but I am not so sure if he is gay (if I had to bet money, I would say no rather than yes). Maybe this is just me yearning for the unachievable.... But I believe in life you have to take chances and sometimes act on fate.

    Tomorrow I am going to text him and ask if he wants to meet for a coffee or a beer, so watch this space...
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:12 PM GMT
    Well, you will probably laugh at this. I texted him in the morning; he said he was at his studio recording music (I thought he met his studio flat taking something off the internet, but it turns out he is a part-time musician). I said to let me know when he would be free for a coffee or a beer, and we ended up arranging to meet in the afternoon, when he would be passing near my house... and so... he turned up with another guy!!!

    I think this guy may have been just from his group, but he was also going on to the next place he was going to, so they may be partners.... I could not ask, because I was planning to just check this guy out and suss out whether he was gay or not.... I felt like battering this third guy! But that was just because it reminded me of a similar scenario in the past, when my bf was moving on to someone else, a complete runt, but I was a gentleman and did not say I would fight the other guy or anything like that (although in retrospect I wish I had!).

    The awkward thing is that this third guy did not speak our language, so I tried to speak his, but the guy I am after gave up eventually and I was only to happy to continue with him alone in our own language. It was a bit rude, I know, to exclude someone, but he was not invited anyway, and I hate hangers-on (if I had been a third tagging along, I would have gone for a walk, for example). Which makes me think he maybe is this guy's long-term partner. I could not be too obvious, but they do seem to know each other a long time.

    From what I gather about this guy I am after, I think there is a more than slight chance that he may be gay. But if he has someone already, then there is no point pushing it anyway. We got on very well and have a lot in common and could be good friends. Anyway, I left it so the ball is now in this guy's court and we can see how it goes - it is not up to him to call me again. If he does, I will be only too happy. But if he turns up again with this other guy - to whom I took an instant dislike - I may well have to do some plain man-to-man talking!

    Has anyone else ever had a similar scenario - I don't know, like planning a romantic meal for a guy and he turns up with his mother or something???