Gym romances??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2007 4:31 AM GMT
    I'm posting this because I feel kind of desperate and would like to know what you guys things since you go to the gym. There is this cool trainer at the gym I go to who I'm falling for big time, he's all I think about these days. We have rarely talked but we say hello, wave when we see each other from across the gym with big smiles, and we stare at each other ALOT! Ok, so he's a trainer, he's always with a client, or chatting with a group and it's tough for us to start up a conversation since I don't want to interrupt his client's time. After all this is the dude's workplace. What is the etiquette for this? I know he's interested in me because he always stares and goes out of his way to say hi and wave and he doesn't do this with anyone else except his coworkers and clients. I also know he's gay that's not a secret. I would really really like to get to know this guy better. What is the appropriate way to approach a trainer at the gym so as not to be disrespectful of his workplace. I'm also kinda bashful around him since he really gets my going. He is the bomb as far as I'm concerned. I haven't felt like this about a guy in ages. Any advice about this??? Thanks!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2007 3:12 PM GMT
    How did you meet him in the first place? Do you two even know each others' names? If not, that might be a good place to start...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2007 3:30 PM GMT
    Why not ask him out? Get something to eat, go for a drink.. you dont have to bother him when his working. Ask for his phone number, it might lead to something.

    I too, am sexually attracted to this big guy at my gym. He always smilling helping me out. But really that dont mean anything. For all I know, he probabaly not even gay.

    By the way, are you falling for him or for his body. There a different.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2007 3:32 PM GMT
    Introduce yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2007 3:44 PM GMT
    I'd agree with the rest of the guys--introducing yourself and asking him about is absolutely appropriate at the gym. I did the same with a couple of gym staff members when I was single and had some lovely dates. Good luck!
  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Jul 02, 2007 5:24 PM GMT
    I agree with the guys here. You should definitely spark up a conversation as soon as the opportunity arrises. Maybe if you can work out until his session with his client is over. If you catch him like this then ask him if he suggest any specific supplements....a nice universal question that is always appropriate at the gym.

    But act on it buddy...especially if your getting that nice feeling inside with this dude. He may be feeling the same thing and when your both feeling that connection you need to ACT....otherwise the little stares here and there will get old and things will cool off and your chance may be gone forever.

    I met my other half at the gym and if it wasn't for my "i gotta have this" attitude he would of never sparked a conversation with me-because he's shy as hell. So I just made it happen. Here we are 9+ years later living a great life together.

    Act because you don't wanna play the "what if i would have" tape over and over in your head!
    Hope this helps.
    AMB
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2007 5:58 PM GMT
    yeah really, stop acting like a girl and go talk to him. :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2007 5:59 PM GMT
    Send him a heart shaped box of chocolates.
  • Vordhosbn

    Posts: 38

    Jul 02, 2007 8:57 PM GMT
    Ask one of his co-workers to give him a note that says:

    I like you.
    Do you like me?
    Circle one

    YES or NO
  • treader

    Posts: 238

    Jul 02, 2007 11:04 PM GMT
    My advice is a little different. It sounds like you have a big crush on this guy. Unfortunately, it's easy to lose perspective when a crush gets that strong. It's quite possible that this guy is friendly and stares because it's part of his job to look for new clients at the gym. Also just because he's gay doesn't mean that he is available - he could be seeing someone already. Honestly I would back off and get a more normal composure. Then try and catch him on break and follow Apex's advice about asking about supplements. Maybe bring up a gay event that you thought was cool. (Pride? Halsted Street Days?) Pay attentation to the conversation and see where it goes. If things go well, ask him for a drink/coffee/something when he gets off. If he says 'No Thanks' then at least you know so that you can move on. It's easy to get stuck in crushes and ignore other options around you. Good luck.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 02, 2007 11:44 PM GMT
    Okay....you go to the gym to workout, right?
    He works in the gym you workout in, correct?
    ...so catch him between clients and ask him some training questions
    once you break the ice...you know his name
    he knows you
    you can get the feel on how "friendly" he is
    then it'll be easy to ask him out
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jul 02, 2007 11:49 PM GMT
    uh...say hi what's ur name? no brainer!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2007 1:34 AM GMT
    Set up an appointment to train with him. You can have some small talk during your session. If it goes well ask him out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2007 10:46 AM GMT
    How about a post from a trainer's perspective?

    I've had guys come up to me for advice which they didn't want and even schedule interviews for training which they really weren't going to do, just because they either wanted to meet me or wanted to fuck around.

    It's flattering - but mostly it's just annoying. A good trainer takes his work seriously, and wants to help people that want to learn and improve themselves.

    I much prefer a more direct approach. When a guy comes up (when I'm BETWEEN CLIENTS), says hello, introduces himself, and asks flat out - "are you single?" or "would you like to have coffee sometime?" I know where his head is, and can respond appropriately. He's not leading me on professionally, and he's being candid.

    ...and I've met some really nice guys that way, by the way - one of whom has become very close to the two of us. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2007 8:47 PM GMT
    workoutguychicago-if the tables were turned-how would you like to be approached? If somebody at the gym liked you.
    The gym is a great place to meet men, develope friendships etc. all the best and stay fit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2007 8:56 PM GMT
    Thank you guys for all your input. I really knew all along what I have to do, it's just sometimes I need a big push. Unfortunately my sweet has been on vacation the last few weeks, probably 4th of july trip or something. I'm jealous. But next time I see him I'm just going to boldy say hi addressing him by his name and ask him how he's donig and then ask him how his vacation was and go from there. Thanks again!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 04, 2007 2:39 AM GMT
    Since he's at work I would be very discrete approaching him. If he's always with a client, or always seems working in the gym, politely ask him for his card, or give him yours, and ask himn if he could call you sometime when he is not busy. Then you can explain that you would like to ask him out but did not want to say anything inappropriate while he is working. If he is not interested, it will help it be less awkward if he sees that you were very respectful of his work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2007 12:58 AM GMT
    UPDATE::
    I finally approached him. Here's another dilemma. Waht do you think?

    First I'm happy as hell to have finally accomplished my mission. I actually grabbed his arm and said let's talk when you get a break. He was eager to and said sure.

    We talked and it was awesome. He said I was the hottest thing he had set eyes on. I said the same. He was VERY happy to "officially" meet me. He wants to get together for "coffee." BUt he did say, he's "seeing someone".

    Is this shte same thing as having a boyfriend? I really dig this guy and he digs me totally. There is no doubt. I want him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2007 4:28 PM GMT
    Hey workoutguychicago --

    I sympathize with your dilemma cuz i've been in the same situation: the whole i like this guy so much, what should i do next, i don't want to screw things up, i can't get this guy out of my head, i don't want to get him out of my head. It sounds like you've got a pretty high 8.2 crush on this guy.

    Because of this, i'm inclined to disappoint you and agree along the lines of treader to not go too fast anytime soon. You are setting yourself up for a hard fall and heartbreak by expecting this guy to be so incredible.

    A part of me wants to join in with the rest of these and guys and say "Aw, how sweet, the other guy likes him back!" It's alright to want someone, but if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, you should be strong enough to not dwell on it.

    I may be reading into things too much because it's hard to tell emotion from text sometimes, but i think the bottom line is that you should watch how out of control your emotions are.

    By the way, congrats on taking that step and finding out about him. I remember the first time i mustered the balls and it paid off; it was great :).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2007 4:10 AM GMT
    I really don't think you should try to pursue a relationship at the gym. What happens if it doesn't workout. You’ll be stuck with seeing his ass all the time. So just fool around once and call it a day, lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2007 1:33 AM GMT
    Another update: the guy is bipolar and tried to beat me up the other day. I'm devestated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2007 1:53 AM GMT
    Workoutguy,

    How horrible! Just shows that what's on the outside doesn't always match what's on the inside. I hope that at least you can come out of this with some sense of sanity, having learned something about yourself, and can still go to the gym without being bothered by this guy. Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2007 12:27 PM GMT
    for god sake workoutguy don't leave it there. what the hell happened next? one minute he tells you you're the hottest thing he's ever seen and the next he tries to beat you up?

    we want more?
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Oct 02, 2007 3:19 PM GMT
    WOW... I definetely want to know more.
  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    Oct 02, 2007 3:53 PM GMT
    My dad gave me some good advice:

    "Don't shit where you eat!"

    daWeatherMan