Telling people you're gay/bi

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    You know what I think is hard? When people don't automatically think someone is gay, so then you have to get to know a new person or coworker, then disclose that you're gay. Haha I find myself always mustering up the courage to tell a new buddy or a girl who's interested in me that I like dudes. How do you guys handle making sure everyone knows you're gay, so you can avoid all the awkwardness?
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    Jun 20, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    wyojock saidHow do you guys handle making sure everyone knows you're gay, so you can avoid all the awkwardness?
    Experience...
    And the awkwardness is kinda fun. The looks on some people's faces is priceless.
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    wyojock saidHow do you guys handle making sure everyone knows you're gay, so you can avoid all the awkwardness?
    Experience...
    And the awkwardness is kinda fun. The looks on some people's faces is priceless.


    "yeah that sucks dick"
    "you say that like it's a bad thing"
    O.O
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    Jun 20, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    rosco87 said
    paulflexes said
    wyojock saidHow do you guys handle making sure everyone knows you're gay, so you can avoid all the awkwardness?
    Experience...
    And the awkwardness is kinda fun. The looks on some people's faces is priceless.


    "yeah that sucks dick"
    "you say that like it's a bad thing"
    O.O
    "yeah that sucks hairy sweaty donkey balls"
    "you say that like it's a ... nevermind,"
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    Jun 20, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    I think unless you fit the stereotype, then there's no exact way for it to be obvious and for people you meet to "just know."

    You could always have some type of homosexual keychain or pin. Maybe a picture of you and your boyfriend/partner on your work desk.
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    Jun 20, 2011 5:55 PM GMT
    I've always taken the little openings people naturally give in conversation to let them know in a natural and subtle way. For example if people are sharing what they did over the weekend it is typical they'll mention their date, bf, gf, wife, husband, etc. I do the exact same thing. Nearly every mundane conversation presents an opportunity to share that info in a naturally and unassuming way. After coming out to all my close friends and family, I've never really had to "come out" officially to any one else. Once at my new job a coworker and I were talking about a movie and he asked if my wife liked it. I just simply said "no wife here, but my partner really liked it. He got very apologetic, and I told him it was no big deal. I told him I look at it as though I was just correcting him on the pronunciation of my name. Just live openly and authentically most people respond in kind, if they don't it is not your job to make them understand or carry the burden of their ignorance. Hope this helps.
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    Jun 20, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    There's more awkwardness after you come out? Can't wait lol. Well, I will b coming out after I move next month, but it seems like I will have to periodically come out to new people I meet... Great

    I guess rudemech has a good technique for revealing this info, but I wouldn't just tell people unless they ask. I am way to private and introverted for this, unless I know u and am friends, then I am way more open And since I'm not stereotypically gay I guess not many will ask. Oh well, none of their business were I stick my Dick anyway lol
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    Jun 20, 2011 6:30 PM GMT
    I don't randomly tell people unless they ask. I let them think whatever they want because I pretty much think whatever I want of people until I feel the need to know and ask. Even after I tell them I'm gay I don't feel awkward about it because I don't feel my sexuality gives or takes anything away from me.
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    Jun 20, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    wyojock saidHaha I find myself always mustering up the courage to tell a new buddy or a girl who's interested in me that I like dudes. How do you guys handle making sure everyone knows you're gay, so you can avoid all the awkwardness?


    You don't have to say anything at all! why? "Why would you volunteer that information" cuz no one tells about their personal lives or their gender preference "It is none of their business!"...... It seems some people want to put their sexual orientation up front.icon_smile.gif
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    Jun 20, 2011 7:53 PM GMT
    I've only told a few of my best friends and my sister...they all took it really well and didn't actually care...it really doesn't change anything, it just builds more trust in a relationship. I really do wish I could tell more people, but I'm still a little awkward about it
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    Jun 20, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    You don't have to tell anyone anything, but you also don't have to hide anything. Listen to how straight people talk and you will see they are constantly and subconsciously revealing their orientation. Just do the same. At first you may feel the fear and urge to hold your wall up, but over time you'll begin to do it without even thinking. That's the true freedom of being comepletely out, not thinking about it AT ALL. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Tiller66

    Posts: 380

    Jun 20, 2011 8:07 PM GMT
    I think that RudeMech has it down the best.I'm about the same way when I talk about my ex I always say "he"and usually the one paying attention catch on but it's not really a responcability for you to come out to everyone.Shoot I work at a porn store and after working with on guy for a month he was making a comment about a women in the store about how hott she was when he asked me I just said"Yea she's not bad but that one over there(pointing at a hott collage guy)is more my type"He got a little red faced and said he did'nt knowbut I just told him that's ok.Don't stress it as long as your happy with who you are most will welcome you with open arms(hopefully attached to a hott man)and for those that don't pay them no mind.
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    Jun 20, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    RudeMech saidI've always taken the little openings people naturally give in conversation to let them know in a natural and subtle way. For example if people are sharing what they did over the weekend it is typical they'll mention their date, bf, gf, wife, husband, etc. I do the exact same thing. Nearly every mundane conversation presents an opportunity to share that info in a naturally and unassuming way. After coming out to all my close friends and family, I've never really had to "come out" officially to any one else. Once at my new job a coworker and I were talking about a movie and he asked if my wife liked it. I just simply said "no wife here, but my partner really liked it. He got very apologetic, and I told him it was no big deal. I told him I look at it as though I was just correcting him on the pronunciation of my name. Just live openly and authentically most people respond in kind, if they don't it is not your job to make them understand or carry the burden of their ignorance. Hope this helps.


    I like this way best. Well put.
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    Jun 23, 2011 5:04 AM GMT
    Thanks for the advice, fellas!
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    Jun 23, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    wyojock saidHow do you guys handle making sure everyone knows you're gay, so you can avoid all the awkwardness?
    Experience...
    And the awkwardness is kinda fun. The looks on some people's faces is priceless.
    I know Kevin's was!
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    Jun 23, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    wyojock saidHow do you guys handle making sure everyone knows you're gay, so you can avoid all the awkwardness?
    Experience...
    And the awkwardness is kinda fun. The looks on some people's faces is priceless.


    I will go along with this. I kind of enjoy seeing the jaw drop, deer in the headlights, omg face icon_smile.gif Sometimes If I want someone to know, but don't want to say it directly, I will wait until Im in a causal social place with friends that know and then make some comment about "all you strait guys" or something like that. Usually my new friends are smart enough to pick up on it and I usually can catch the facial expression when the icon_idea.gif goes on icon_smile.gif Sometimes It looks like icon_eek.gif