Surviving a long distance relationship.

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    Jun 20, 2011 10:24 PM GMT

    How far would it have to be considering it a long distance relationship?

    Is it even worth trying to make a long distance relationship work out?
    What if it might be "The One".

    How about all the risk that would come with it?
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    Jun 21, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    In a long distance, cross border relationship. He lives in Tampa, I live in Saskatchewan Canada. So not only do we have to contend with different laws and rights, and an insane difficulty in me getting to live down there, I'm also 3000 miles away in another time zone. The two hour time difference in summer can make things interesting as far as scheduling time for one another, but we always try and watch as many movies and baseball games together every week as we can. He has a young son so there is that dynamic to it too, but I got a happy Fathers Day, my first ever, so that really made my day. There are alot of risks involved, more so when dating between countries, but no risk, no reward right?
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    Jun 21, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    been in two.. and theyve both failed miserably, they were amazing while they lasted, what you lack in physical you can make up for in other ways ive learned.. it can be a rewarding experience.. i wont tell you not to, as you cant deny yourself from experiencing it.
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    Jun 21, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    I think that if you have to drive more than 5 hours to get to each other's places then its a long distance relationship.

    If you both like to go out with friends and meet new people then its not worth being in a long distance relationship. Some shit will go down. If you're both homebodies then there is a chance it will work.

    I would never be able to be in a long distance relationship. I wouldn't be able to trust myself let alone someone else.
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    Jun 21, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    I asked myself those same questions when I first met my partner nearly 11 years ago. We were living 4-4.5 hours apart and then I graduated and moved 1200 miles away. We had many heart to hearts and I did a lot of soul searching. I was very young and I had the inclination to play the field, but I was conflicted because he had so many of the qualities that I always wanted in a mate. I believed he was my one, and we made it work for half a year over that distance. Ultimately I decided this was the man I was going to make my life with and so we moved to the same place. In return I've built a wonderful life with him and we truly are a family.
    In the past decade I've learned over and over that a relationship requires effort and a willingness to put yourself on the line. Will it work out? There's no guarantee, but if it is something you want you have to put your all into it, just like anything in life. Nothing just happens. The long distance wasn't the only hurdle we've faced, and it won't be the last, but I can say that I'm very glad I took the leap because it has brought me a richness and security in my life that I never anticipated.

    Your life is what you make it, make it a good one.

    All the best.

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    Jun 21, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    For five years I was in a relationship from Seattle with a guy in Paris. We went back and forth every six weeks for a week. Most of our money and effort went into this.

    At the end of those five years, we moved to the same place. It didn't work out like we thought it would, but it was the effort that showed itself.

    It is a fallacy to say long distance relationships don't work, but you have to keep some things in mind:

    1) no jealousy. It's a waste of effort and energy to be jealous. You can only be so available a long ways away.

    2) regular, consistent contact. In all those years, we never once missed our appointed time to Skype. Sometimes, when we didn't feel chatty, we would take turns reading a chapter of a book to one another aloud.

    3) special occasions. We were always together on birthdays, anniversary, or sad times like when someone passes away.

    4) goals for the future. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel, so it can't go on forever like this. We did it for five years but a lot of people don't.

    Looking back, it was the best, conscientious thing I've ever done. You build the effort day after day.

    So those people who say it can't work just can't be arsed to try. You can do it if it's worth it.

    Good luck.
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    Jun 21, 2011 9:50 AM GMT
    I had one that lasted 11 years, he was in Russia, and I oz, and it was until death do us part, as well maintaining what is now a 20+ years long term relationship, and both knew of each other too. So yes they can work......