Do you attract who you desire?

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    Jun 21, 2011 8:18 AM GMT
    You guys have been awesome with responses and discussion, so...do the guys that tickle your fancy come your way? Do you have to "settle" for guys who may not be your preference? Are the guys you drool over generally not attracted to you? If you are in a long-term relationship, did you find out that you were your partner's "type"?

    For example, I'm attracted to young, jockish Caucasian and Latino guys who don't seem to be into black guys of my complexion. No harm, no foul. Everybody has a preference. Black guys...I attract, even the ones I think are out of my league icon_smile.gif

    I DO attract "guidos" though, and I like muscles so that's a plus haha I live in the Jersey Shore tri-state region. (I didn't mean to offend anyone of Italian descent)

    I have so many preferences, but never seem to attract who I'm into simply based on my looks. Once they get to know me, they're intrigued and I'm just curious about everyone else...

    Please don't make this a race-card pulling, flaming, argument. Just healthy discussion icon_smile.gif

    EDIT: Cityaznguy brought up his attraction changing. Has yours changed?

    Also can personality make up for not being as ripped or pudgy as you'd like?
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    Jun 21, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    I always seem to attract Hispanic guys. Not that there's... anything wrong with that...

    It's just notable, that's all.
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    Jun 21, 2011 2:52 PM GMT
    allyigator saidYou guys have been awesome with responses and discussion, so...do the guys that tickle your fancy come your way? Do you have to "settle" for guys who may not be your type? Are the guys you drool over generally not attracted to you? If you are in a long-term relationship, did you find out that you were your partner's "type"?

    For example, I'm attracted to young, jockish Caucasian and Latino guys who don't seem to be into black guys of my complexion. No harm, no foul. Everybody has a preference. Black guys...I attract, even the ones I think are out of my league icon_smile.gif

    I DO attract "guidos" though, and I like muscles so that's a plus haha I live in the Jersey Shore tri-state region. (I didn't mean to offend anyone of Italian descent)

    I have so many preferences, but never seem to attract who I'm into simply based on my looks. Once they get to know me, they're intrigued and I'm just curious about everyone else...

    Please don't make this a race-card pulling, flaming, argument. Just healthy discussion icon_smile.gif
    Most guys that are i am attracted to are not attracted to me because of my outspoken, take no prisoners, type demeanor and the ones that i don't find attractive I simply tell them i don't want them. I try not to be mean to them but i do be totally honest with them so they can have an understanding.
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    Jun 21, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    Very very very very very very very seldom.
    To find someone with my fetish AND my type physically is beyond rare.
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    Jun 21, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    not really

    looking for someone fit, muscular, age appropriate
    typically only attract those that are significantly older, out-of-shape, creepy or really young twinks
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:14 PM GMT
    I believe settling for is more a mind set. The world aint perfect, nor are the people. With the right opportunities and affinity, i believe that bonding with the right guy is possible. I used to have a type, when i started dating 4yrs ago. But that has blurred over the years. Today just athletic guys around my age pretty much does it for me. But I also have to be realistic with logistics and not falling into a long distance relationship. But I think RJ is a great place to meet people around the world and back home. icon_biggrin.gif
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jun 21, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    rjb2001 saidI believe settling for is more a mind set. The world aint perfect, nor are the people. With the right opportunities and affinity, i believe that bonding with the right guy is possible.


    I can't agree with you more
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    I tend to attract 30 year old really muscular Latino men. Not that there's anything wrong with that, in fact I'm dancing because of it.
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    its worth the effort to find who you're attracted to though. i wouldn't give up and just say the world isn't perfect.

    if you find that one guy who is exactly your type, and for him, you are exactly his type.. you'll both be so elated and think the other guy is out of your league. its a win win.
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    When in was in my early 20s I wanted to attract other cute guys in their early 20s, but I kept attracting guys in their 30s or 40s.

    Now in my early 30s and in a steady relationship, I kept attracting young attractive guys in their 20s, wanting me to romantically involved with them (and most of them don't know about my bf)

    I guess the joke is on me.
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
    cityaznguy saidWhen in was in my early 20s I wanted to attract other cute guys in their early 20s, but I kept attracting guys in their 30s or 40s.

    Now in my early 30s and in a steady relationship, I kept attracting young attractive guys in their 20s, wanting me to romantically involved with them (and most of them don't know about my bf)

    I guess the joke is on me.
    It's scientific fact that when you're in a relationship, all the guys you originally wanted will start hitting you up. Then if you dump the relationship, the guys go away also.
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    cityaznguy saidWhen in was in my early 20s I wanted to attract other cute guys in their early 20s, but I kept attracting guys in their 30s or 40s.

    Now in my early 30s and in a steady relationship, I kept attracting young attractive guys in their 20s, wanting me to romantically involved with them (and most of them don't know about my bf)

    I guess the joke is on me.
    It's scientific fact that when you're in a relationship, all the guys you originally wanted will start hitting you up. Then if you dump the relationship, the guys go away also.


    This is how it works for girls. If they know your in a relationship, they find you more attractive.

    Girls are weird, though.
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:40 PM GMT
    i kinda attract all kinds of guys...black,white,latino, middle eastern, asian...but i think black guys dig me the most (no pun intended) for some reason...my preference: goodlooking and charming and not out of shape...i don't like guys who don't care about their health(it's not necessarily about vanity)
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:42 PM GMT
    Most of the time I tend to attract older guys, which is fine except sometimes they can b creepy and grabby. Also I am looking to date someone my age so we.... Ya know, have things in common lol

    But every so often I attract a guy who I would think is way out of my league and its always cuz they love my body hair lol. I will never shave my fur vest
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    Jun 21, 2011 3:42 PM GMT
    @ Paul: hahaha that is correct. Maybe it's because I am more secure about myself now that's why...? Where are we flying to btw? icon_biggrin.gif

    @ chainers: yeah bud there's a term those girls, they're called home wreckin' bitches. icon_razz.gif
  • patmos9990

    Posts: 146

    Jun 21, 2011 3:51 PM GMT
    I tend to attract late 40s out of shape guys. Can't I attact someone that wants to go to the gym
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    Jun 21, 2011 4:45 PM GMT
    JackNWNJ saidI always seem to attract Hispanic guys. Not that there's... anything wrong with that...

    It's just notable, that's all.

    Nothing at all, very interesting.

    Edward011 said
    allyigator saidYou guys have been awesome with responses and discussion, so...do the guys that tickle your fancy come your way? Do you have to "settle" for guys who may not be your type? Are the guys you drool over generally not attracted to you? If you are in a long-term relationship, did you find out that you were your partner's "type"?

    For example, I'm attracted to young, jockish Caucasian and Latino guys who don't seem to be into black guys of my complexion. No harm, no foul. Everybody has a preference. Black guys...I attract, even the ones I think are out of my league icon_smile.gif

    I DO attract "guidos" though, and I like muscles so that's a plus haha I live in the Jersey Shore tri-state region. (I didn't mean to offend anyone of Italian descent)

    I have so many preferences, but never seem to attract who I'm into simply based on my looks. Once they get to know me, they're intrigued and I'm just curious about everyone else...

    Please don't make this a race-card pulling, flaming, argument. Just healthy discussion icon_smile.gif
    Most guys that are i am attracted to are not attracted to me because of my outspoken, take no prisoners, type demeanor and the ones that i don't find attractive I simply tell them i don't want them. I try not to be mean to them but i do be totally honest with them so they can have an understanding.


    Very interesting, this is what I meant about them bein interested after getting to know me. At least you know and don't feel any less for being you! icon_smile.gif


    paulflexes saidVery very very very very very very seldom.
    To find someone with my fetish AND my type physically is beyond rare.

    Ahhh, sorry to hear that. I may have been too broad by stating who you're attracted to, but I meant it on all levels. I attract a lot of twinks who aren't into the kinky stuff I'm into, so I can see where you're coming from. I wish you the best of luck man.

    austex85 saidnot really

    looking for someone fit, muscular, age appropriate
    typically only attract those that are significantly older, out-of-shape, creepy or really young twinks

    Very interesting phenomenon how it's either too old or too young for you, hmmm...Perhaps you look younger in attracting these older guys and the younger guys find you just the right age and not too old. Either way, you're hot.
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    Jun 21, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    rjb2001 saidI believe settling for is more a mind set. The world aint perfect, nor are the people. With the right opportunities and affinity, i believe that bonding with the right guy is possible. I used to have a type, when i started dating 4yrs ago. But that has blurred over the years. Today just athletic guys around my age pretty much does it for me. But I also have to be realistic with logistics and not falling into a long distance relationship. But I think RJ is a great place to meet people around the world and back home. icon_biggrin.gif


    When I say settling, I mean you may be into a guy, but he's not as muscular as you would like, or maybe not as tall. I didn't mean to say someone is of lesser value because they don't fit your perfect expectations. I shouldn't have used "type". I changed it to preference as in one may prefer taller, lean guys or shorter, stocky men, etc icon_smile.gif

    ohioguy12 said
    rjb2001 saidI believe settling for is more a mind set. The world aint perfect, nor are the people. With the right opportunities and affinity, i believe that bonding with the right guy is possible.


    I can't agree with you more

    What I said above icon_smile.gif

    Chainers saidI tend to attract 30 year old really muscular Latino men. Not that there's anything wrong with that, in fact I'm dancing because of it.

    Hahaha that's hot, glad you're enjoying the attention and maybe you can teach me some moves to prepare for my stint on Dancing with the Stars =)

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    Jun 21, 2011 4:53 PM GMT
    ivyjock saidits worth the effort to find who you're attracted to though. i wouldn't give up and just say the world isn't perfect.

    if you find that one guy who is exactly your type, and for him, you are exactly his type.. you'll both be so elated and think the other guy is out of your league. its a win win.


    I agree, but it also may be a little compromise, for example a guy may not be as muscular as you'd like but he's such an awesome spirit that you both join the gym and he becames everything you'd desire if you could have the perfect man

    cityaznguy saidWhen in was in my early 20s I wanted to attract other cute guys in their early 20s, but I kept attracting guys in their 30s or 40s.

    Now in my early 30s and in a steady relationship, I kept attracting young attractive guys in their 20s, wanting me to romantically involved with them (and most of them don't know about my bf)

    I guess the joke is on me.

    Ahhhh, this is SO intriguing. How your attractions changed and vice versa. I should have included this in my question!!!

    paulflexes said
    cityaznguy saidWhen in was in my early 20s I wanted to attract other cute guys in their early 20s, but I kept attracting guys in their 30s or 40s.

    Now in my early 30s and in a steady relationship, I kept attracting young attractive guys in their 20s, wanting me to romantically involved with them (and most of them don't know about my bf)

    I guess the joke is on me.
    It's scientific fact that when you're in a relationship, all the guys you originally wanted will start hitting you up. Then if you dump the relationship, the guys go away also.

    Scientific? Haha, althought if sounds like you've proven said theory. Their loss, I say.

    Chainers said
    paulflexes said
    cityaznguy saidWhen in was in my early 20s I wanted to attract other cute guys in their early 20s, but I kept attracting guys in their 30s or 40s.

    Now in my early 30s and in a steady relationship, I kept attracting young attractive guys in their 20s, wanting me to romantically involved with them (and most of them don't know about my bf)

    I guess the joke is on me.
    It's scientific fact that when you're in a relationship, all the guys you originally wanted will start hitting you up. Then if you dump the relationship, the guys go away also.


    This is how it works for girls. If they know your in a relationship, they find you more attractive.

    Girls are weird, though.


    I think it's the "forbidden fruit" factor, wanting what you can't have or why people chase those who are married

    dannylv saidi kinda attract all kinds of guys...black,white,latino, middle eastern, asian...but i think black guys dig me the most (no pun intended) for some reason...my preference: goodlooking and charming and not out of shape...i don't like guys who don't care about their health(it's not necessarily about vanity)

    Haha, maybe I'm one of those black guys who you drive to drooling, I'll check your profie and let you know haha :p Glad you have such a diverse magnetism
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    Jun 21, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    wolverinecub86 saidMost of the time I tend to attract older guys, which is fine except sometimes they can b creepy and grabby. Also I am looking to date someone my age so we.... Ya know, have things in common lol

    But every so often I attract a guy who I would think is way out of my league and its always cuz they love my body hair lol. I will never shave my fur vest

    No need to explain, you like what you like. I can understand the creepy factor and not having anything in common. I try to be open, but one guy within 5 minutes asked if I wanted to be his boyfriend. Even for a nice guy like me, that turned on my creeper clingdar. Nothing against the sexy salt and pepper "daddies" out there! Anderson Cooper and Aaron Eckhart can GET IT!

    patmos9990 saidI tend to attract late 40s out of shape guys. Can't I attact someone that wants to go to the gym

    I find the out-of-shape phenomeneon SO interesting, not to veer off topic, but I don't understand misrepresentation...especially online. Maybe they'd have better luck if they went after chub chasers(if they're content with themselves) or noted that they're a work in progress and would like someone to motivate them. But being ripped isn't for everyone and I understand beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    You guys are awesome! I appreciate all of the responses. So interesting to hear from other guys!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2011 5:06 PM GMT
    Sometimes. But other times, I'm a magnet for drama queens or mental cases. I think I brought that to myself for being such a good listener and always offering them good advice whenever they ask for it.

    Intelligence + looks= attract everyone.
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    Jun 21, 2011 5:25 PM GMT
    I WISH!

    lol I'm really into cute Asian guys....but I'm not that lucky!!! TT-TT
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Jun 21, 2011 5:29 PM GMT
    I seldom do. But to be realistic, I blame it more on my own introversion, something I've been working on since I came out a couple years back.
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    Jun 21, 2011 5:32 PM GMT
    The only thing I attract in my 'local' neighborhood are sea monkeys....icon_mad.gif