HELP IN DIRE NEED OF ADVICE... don't know what to do... What do you think?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    So I have a bit of a dilemma... theres a guy i've known for a year or so now that just recently got out of a long term relationship with his girlfriend. I've always suspected that this guy might be interested in both men and women. When he was with his girlfriend I always noticed that he took a likeing to me and I found him to be really touchy feely always taking any opportunity to put his hands on me. He also holds eye contact with me for long periods of time and once and awhile gets nervous looks away quick then pops right back. Since him and his girlfriend broke up we have been hanging out quite a bit... hes constantly texting me almost like he jumps on any chance he can get to have something to say to me. When we are together we are always laughing and having fun. He still holds eye contact and is still being touchy feely. Trying to pinch my nipples through my t shirt, putting his hand on my thigh quickly, always wanting to touch my hands etc. He laughs at pretty much everything I say, and when I've drank with him before hes constantly looking at me after he says or done something to see if im laughing. I've seen him check me out top to bottom a few times. One time I had just finished working out and he once overed my body while I was talking to him and then swallowed and nervously thought of something to say. I've never made my sexual preference known to this guy, but I get this vibe he knows Im gay. Is it just me or does this guy like me?
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    Jun 21, 2011 6:26 PM GMT
    You ain't fucked his brains out yet? FAIL!
  • metta

    Posts: 39118

    Jun 21, 2011 6:34 PM GMT
    Tell him what your sexual preference is or kiss him and see what he does. ;)
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    Jun 21, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    you better get on that like brown on rice lol, go for it man you'll be relieved from whatever the conclusion is, "to get something you never had, you have to do something you never did" -unkown
    Good luck man icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 21, 2011 7:03 PM GMT
    I'm sorry to say, but I think you should dump him!....... I just feel kind of like now he's using you!.... yeah!, sounds like he's using you as a rebound to get over his ex girlfriend or whatever.... btw be careful for not being decieved and maniputated.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 21, 2011 7:08 PM GMT
    I guess my main thing is that he's quite a few years older than me.... and has the type of personality that if he wants something he will go for it. While hanging out hes made comments about other girls too... but when he does it it's like hes trying to evoke a response from me. Almost like hes doing it to see if i'll get jealous. Part of me wants to make a move but I'm scared shitless that I'm going to have been reading these signs wrong all along. Maybe hes straight and just likes me alot as a friend? I think he might be into me but just scared to acknowledge his feelings. Should I wait for him to make the first move?
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jun 21, 2011 7:27 PM GMT
    The best thing to do is just ask him in a private setting. Ease him into the conversation. If he's worth anything, he will come away with a sense of a more bonded friendship, even if he is straight.

    But a few questions that might indicated whether he is bisexual or gay...or not:

    1) Why did he break up with his girlfriend?

    2) How long have you known each other?

    3) How long have you been friends?

    As others have stated, be cautious. It could be your emotions clouding judgement on what is going on.
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    Jun 21, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    ontarioguy saidI guess my main thing is that he's quite a few years older than me.... and has the type of personality that if he wants something he will go for it. While hanging out hes made comments about other girls too... but when he does it it's like hes trying to evoke a response from me. Almost like hes doing it to see if i'll get jealous. Part of me wants to make a move but I'm scared shitless that I'm going to have been reading these signs wrong all along. Maybe hes straight and just likes me alot as a friend? I think he might be into me but just scared to acknowledge his feelings. Should I wait for him to make the first move?


    do what you feel is best for you and your relationship/friendship with him but sometimes you gotta walk on faith & not by sight and if you're not comfortable making a move insinuate things to him, perhaps ease your way in...but good luck man I KNOW how hard it is especially if you're not sure if the person is a breeder/str8 or gay
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jun 21, 2011 9:31 PM GMT
    i am going to say he is not into you buddy. he is just being a guy. i have had plenty of my straight buddies who pench my nipples. there are a lot of guys who are touchy and feely, my god father always told me to look people in there eyes when you are talking to them. if you are constantly turning away it makes you look shifty. anyhow, i just think you really this guy and you are hoping he is gay. i am not saying is not gay. i am just saying i do not think those are signals you should be concerned with. my question is are you out to people? if not, then he probably just doing the male bonding thing.
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    Jun 21, 2011 9:39 PM GMT
    "IN DIRE NEED"? Isn't that sort of language reserved for when you are hanging by your fingertips from a 1000ft precipice, rather than when you are trying to decide whether to jump your overly-tactile buddy's ass?
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    Jun 21, 2011 10:04 PM GMT
    This guy is so bi-curious that he is just dripping with it. You might invite him over to your place for dinner and see what happens. Maybe have a serious talk with him? I can tell that you are on fire with wanting to bite into the lotus.

    If it were me I wouldn't do anything with him. I don't trust bi-sexuals and don't like being their sexual orientation laboratory experiment. If he turns out to be gay, well, you know how we behaved after newly coming out. There won't be enough dick for him.
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    Jun 21, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidi am going to say he is not into you buddy. he is just being a guy. i have had plenty of my straight buddies who pench my nipples. there are a lot of guys who are touchy and feely, my god father always told me to look people in there eyes when you are talking to them. if you are constantly turning away it makes you look shifty. anyhow, i just think you really this guy and you are hoping he is gay. i am not saying is not gay. i am just saying i do not think those are signals you should be concerned with. my question is are you out to people? if not, then he probably just doing the male bonding thing.


    Great point...
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    est89 said
    tuffguyndc saidi am going to say he is not into you buddy. he is just being a guy. i have had plenty of my straight buddies who pench my nipples. there are a lot of guys who are touchy and feely, my god father always told me to look people in there eyes when you are talking to them. if you are constantly turning away it makes you look shifty. anyhow, i just think you really this guy and you are hoping he is gay. i am not saying is not gay. i am just saying i do not think those are signals you should be concerned with. my question is are you out to people? if not, then he probably just doing the male bonding thing.


    Great point...



    I think so, too.

    To ontarioguy, wouldn't it be better if he just came on to you, instead of this cloak and dagger of wondering if? Quite frankly, I always liked a man who could say what he wanted in no uncertain terms.

    -Doug

  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Jun 22, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    Just ask him if wants to suck your dick and then see what he says.