Why Do Guys Ignore Past Hookups Online/In Person?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    Why is it most times when I hook up with a guy, and we run into eachother again online or in person that they ignore me?

    For instance, there was a hot guy who came over for a BJ about six months ago. We had an amazing time, and I gave him the best head of his life. A couple of months ago, he hits me up on A4A, only to realize we already hooked up, and he stopped chatting with me.

    When I sent him a message, he ignored it. Obviously, he was just interested in a one time thing, but why do guys have to be such a dick about it?

    Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? Meeting hot guys, having sex, then never talking to them again?
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    The_Austonian saidWhy is it most times when I hook up with a guy, and we run into eachother again online or in person that they ignore me?

    For instance, there was a hot guy who came over for a BJ about six months ago. We had an amazing time, and I gave him the best head of his life. A couple of months ago, he hits me up on A4A, only to realize we already hooked up, and he stopped chatting with me.

    When I sent him a message, he ignored it. Obviously, he was just interested in a one time thing, but why do guys have to be such a dick about it?

    Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? Meeting hot guys, having sex, then never talking to them again?



    If it's casual sex, then yes.....most of the time it will be like that. If you're looking for a date, you need to be specific about that. You won't get ignored after a date (hopefully)
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    Cause he is a piece of shit who isn't worth your time. Enough said. Move on.
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    Chainers saidCause he is a piece of shit who isn't worth your time. Enough said. Move on.


    That's easier said than done. I've hooked up with a lot of hot guys, but it's always a one time thing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    I have friends who tell me this happens to them all the time.
    Now repeat after me...

    "IT"S NOT ME................IT'S THEM"

    Men are hunters by nature but some are just assholes I guess.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQoPB0RISdGMlAENjjMbHe
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    Jun 22, 2011 4:31 AM GMT

    Maybe you should stop hooking up. Casual sex is well casual; I'd compare it to buying a pack of cigarettes someplace: you coulda been driving through or not from that town, so you'll probably never buy there again. Date, that's local guys who enjoy shopping at that store: the clerk is nice, they like the decor, and/or the brands they sell. Those will be returning patrons.

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    Jun 22, 2011 4:45 AM GMT
    Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

    He got what he wanted. You got what you wanted. Plain and simple. That's why it's called a hook up.

    What kills the NSA "moment" is when you encounter a frustrated nut job and they simply BORE you to death for 3-fucking hours before the actual fucking with their life story and failed attempts at life and relationships hoping to score a possible new relationship. They are gonna score a one time thing they just failed to realize that's why you're there. I'm glad my last NSA encounter was "grammar" free.icon_twisted.gif

    Anyways, back to you. Don't let it bother you. Always remember NSAs are a one time thing. Unless they are drunk every other night and they text you every single night wanting you to come over In that case YOU have to have respect for yourself and you are the one who has to say "no more" .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    Guys are assholes. Period.

    A hole is a hole is hole.....icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 6:05 AM GMT
    I think guys only ignore the bad sex.


    ...Something to think about.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 22, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    Part of me wants to say:
    You're expecting the worst from guys you haven't even met yet.
    Not all guys are like that.
    Give them a chance.

    Another part of me wants to say:
    Welcome to the internet, where a lot of guys don't regard other guys as people with feelings. Click, and they're gone. Block, and they're permanently gone. Sad, but true.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 7:37 AM GMT
    Ermine saidI think guys only ignore the bad sex.


    ...Something to think about.


    BURN!
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jun 22, 2011 7:37 AM GMT
    OP you had an amazing time maybe he didn't?? Or he talked to his friends and u blew all of them already too????icon_idea.gif
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    Jun 22, 2011 8:41 AM GMT
    He came down my throat, so as far as I'm concerned, he had a good time. It's not just him either -- many guys have acted this way after a hookup and I don't know why.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Jun 22, 2011 12:11 PM GMT
    The_Austonian said
    Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? Meeting hot guys, having sex, then never talking to them again?


    Probably not -- at least not to the same extent it is now. You'll gradually get better at meeting guys who are interested in the same thing you are, so you'll meet fewer of those kinds of guys. Meanwhile, some of the guys you've been hooking up with will start to grow up and gradually realize that "no strings" doesn't have to equal "must never acknowledge someone you hook up with as a human being." And after years of seeing you around in chat rooms and/or out and about, they'll be able to say hi without being weird about it.
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    Jun 22, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    Who are the people who replied to this post suggesting perhaps its you or that how these people treated you is common and normal practice. It's not. People who had an encounter with you and then ignore you .. it's just rude, and they are ignorant.

    Just remember, the majority of men you will meet are uneducated fools with poor manners and etiquette. You can take a piece of shit (literally), put it in an armani suit, give it a mont-blanc pen, and throw a million bucks in the front pocket, but it's still a piece of shit. SO it's not you, and anyone who suggests that you should just consider this type of behaviour as normal, is frankly a loser. Most people i've met do not have the interpersonal skills that I do, and cannot handle themselves in situations which are not basic and that require a certain level of tact and critical thought.

    Keep your standards high, continually raise the bar, and be glad that you're the type of person who has self-respect and respect for others. People should look to you as an example of how to treat others with decency. I'm the same way.. I always treat others with respect and it costs me nothing to say hello back or what not.

    I'm still rolling my eyes at some of the responses to your post... honest to god.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 12:46 PM GMT
    A lot of wisdom to Hawken's post and I completely agree with it. You can't expect classy, humane behavior from classless shitheads.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    this behavior is not exclusive to gay men.

    women complain about it as well.

    when you drop your standards enough to do truly NSA hooking (up), you're not going to be filtering well enough to only encounter people who will treat you like more than meat. even when you do filter, some people are just jerks.

    personally, i try to treat everyone like a human being, because even if i'm in a good spot in my life, life can change very fast. you are as you do. a jerk is a jerk is a jerk no matter how you paint him. a gentleman is a gentleman regardless of his costume...
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    Jun 22, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    My guess since it was a trick, they got what they wanted. They signed up for a blow and go, not a BFF
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    Jun 22, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    Question to the OP:

    Not to get too personal, but by chance, was your arrange beforehand that of you giving him a non-reciprocal blowjob?
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    Jun 22, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    I hate it when that happens... it's not that I have fallen in love, but for cryin' out loud, I'm not going to pretend like it never happened!
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    Jun 22, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    It happens everywhere, no idea why though, but it made me feel so horrible.
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    Jun 22, 2011 2:03 PM GMT
    I never could understand that behavior either although it's very common in the gay world. How can you share the most intimate part of yourself with someone and then not even be bothered to acknowledge their existence later or say hello? Of course, a lot of men don't think of sex as anything more than masturbating to a live picture. They don't treat you as a human with feelings any more than they would treat their computer screen or porn magazine as a human with feelings.
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    Jun 22, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    miamimasseur saidI never could understand that behavior either although it's very common in the gay world. How can you share the most intimate part of yourself with someone and then not even be bothered to acknowledge their existence later or say hello? Of course, a lot of men don't think of sex as anything more than masturbating to a live picture. They don't treat you as a human with feelings any more than they would treat their computer screen or porn magazine as a human with feelings.


    I think its pretty easy when you go on a website advertising for sex. I think you take away the emotional intimacy when you post yourself the way you would a used car.

    the few times I have hooked up with someone on an NSA basis, I might give them a knowing nod or a "what's up" if I saw them out, but I dont bring it up especially if they are with other people. They dont need to know what we did and ask him "who is that guy? How do you know him?" If he wants a second go round, I am sure he will find a way to get me alone and tell me, but beyond that, I just see it for what it was. An NSA hook up. You make friends by meeting people socially, not saying "breed this hole"

  • rf_dal

    Posts: 380

    Jun 22, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    The_Austonian saidWhy is it most times when I hook up with a guy, and we run into eachother again online or in person that they ignore me?

    For instance, there was a hot guy who came over for a BJ about six months ago. We had an amazing time, and I gave him the best head of his life. A couple of months ago, he hits me up on A4A, only to realize we already hooked up, and he stopped chatting with me.

    When I sent him a message, he ignored it. Obviously, he was just interested in a one time thing, but why do guys have to be such a dick about it?

    Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? Meeting hot guys, having sex, then never talking to them again?



    If it's casual sex, then yes.....most of the time it will be like that. If you're looking for a date, you need to be specific about that. You won't get ignored after a date (hopefully)


    Nope, happens then too! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2011 2:19 PM GMT
    The answer to your question, to me, is this:

    Many people have piss poor people skills. I mean... really awful. There are individuals who just have no idea how to relate to, or deal with others.

    For them, an "NSA" hookup means it was one time, and that's it. Really I feel bad for such people, because they apparently have no capacity to connect with other people. If they are that robotic that they feel "bored' when someone tries to talk to them for a little while before hooking up, then you are not losing out.

    There are many guys who just... they are so black and white in their thinking, because they get overwhelmed by a connection that does not fit into either the A. Hookup Box or B. Relationship/Dating box.

    Don't sweat it. I think if you want a regular thing with one guy then you should at least hint at or talk about it with them before you hook up the first time. Friends with benefits.... whatever. If you want a relationship, then do coffee, not blowjobs at home icon_smile.gif

    It will all work out.... Don't sweat losers who have no people skills. Its easy to get caught up in their 'rejections' ... but it's so true... it's really their issues, not yours.