Have you ever pushed a guy deeper into religion and conservatism because you suspected he was gay?

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    Jun 22, 2011 12:34 PM GMT


    Has this ever happened to you?
  • Bunjamon

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    Jun 22, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    No. Why would I, as a gay man, imposing religion or conservatism on a closeted or suspected gay man just to watch him squirm?
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    Jun 22, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    Bunjamon saidNo. Why would I, as a gay man, imposing religion or conservatism on a closeted or suspected gay man just to watch him squirm?


    I know, right???

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    Jun 22, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    gymrat100 said

    Has this ever happened to you?


    But I bet there are guys that do it to themselves.

    Why? I don't know.
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    Jun 22, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    OK, I think I've got it.

    gymrat are you saying: Have you ever suspected a guy is gay and as a result he goes deeper into conservatism and religion (into the closet)?



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    Jun 22, 2011 2:41 PM GMT
    meninlove said OK, I think I've got it.
    gymrat are you saying: Have you ever suspected a guy is gay and as a result he goes deeper into conservatism and religion (into the closet)?


    I thought that was the question too.... in which case the answer is no. I don't like to "out" people even if they do ultimately embrace their homosexuality as the truth.
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    Jun 22, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    sahem62896 said
    meninlove said OK, I think I've got it.
    gymrat are you saying: Have you ever suspected a guy is gay and as a result he goes deeper into conservatism and religion (into the closet)?


    I thought that was the question too.... in which case the answer is no. I don't like to "out" people even if they do ultimately embrace their homosexuality as the truth.


    Aha! Got it. Sorry, I failed interpretive english in skool.
    I wouldn't try to out him, but I would try to befriend him so he might be comfortable enough with another gay man to talk his way through his fear.
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    Jun 22, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    meninlove said OK, I think I've got it.

    gymrat are you saying: Have you ever suspected a guy is gay and as a result he goes deeper into conservatism and religion (into the closet)?

    Took my slow brain a minute to interpret the OP, but what I finally thought, too. You suspect he's gay, he learns of your suspicion, and that pushes him further into the closet, because he doesn't want anyone to know.

    And I may have been that other guy myself, when I was in the Army. I'd either catch wind of something being said about me, or somebody would say something to me that made me fear they thought I was gay.

    Well, being gay was a threat to my career. Plus I honestly didn't think I was gay, just easily "misunderstood" by others because I enjoyed things like classical music, knew about old movies and Broadway shows, stuff most soldiers didn't.

    But it didn't push me into religion & conservatism, but rather, deeper into the Army and masculine behavior. That's how I disproved their suspicions, and kept my career going.

    And this may be part of the mechanism that makes some of these fundamentalist preachers and conservative politicians so closeted -- their fear of detection. The more you suspect them, the deeper they go, the more extremely anti-gay they become.
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    Jun 22, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    And this may be part of the mechanism that makes some of these fundamentalist preachers and conservative politicians so closeted -- their fear of detection. The more you suspect them, the deeper they go, the more extremely anti-gay they become.

    Exactly. It makes me think of Roy Cohn, Joseph MacCarthy...
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    Jun 22, 2011 3:24 PM GMT



    gymrat's online but not posting a reply.

    Well? lol!
  • HndsmKansan

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    Jun 22, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    You must be kidding!

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    Jun 22, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    I left gymrat an email inviting him back to this topic. Maybe he can explain what he meant a little better than us all guessing.

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    Jun 22, 2011 10:55 PM GMT
    Sorry, I was at work. No, what it was was yes, I did think this guy was gay. I thought he was a great guy, and I liked him very much. So, I asked him out. He got pretty homophobic as a result. Now he's super religious, even more than before, and a hardcore Republican. Is that a coincidence? He's the guy I really liked who rejected me, and made me feel really awful, to the point of wanting to end my life because he was so homophobic and I felt like I was this terrible person.
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    Jun 22, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    All you did is ask him out?
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    Jun 22, 2011 11:20 PM GMT
    It happened to me before I finally came to terms with it, one of my friends suspected due to my lack of interest in girls and conversation thereof, afterwards I became gung ho Christian and pretty anti-gay, but this was all before College... so I consider it a naive adolescent phase.
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    Jun 22, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    dreamweaver21 saidAll you did is ask him out?


    Yup. I told him he was this amazing guy.
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    Jun 22, 2011 11:32 PM GMT
    Suecer4 saidIt happened to me before I finally came to terms with it, one of my friends suspected due to my lack of interest in girls and conversation thereof, afterwards I became gung ho Christian and pretty anti-gay, but this was all before College... so I consider it a naive adolescent phase.


    I would see him check out girls. But, if I was around, he would only look at me. That's why I thought what I did.
  • twilight2010

    Posts: 307

    Jun 29, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    gymrat100 saidSorry, I was at work. No, what it was was yes, I did think this guy was gay. I thought he was a great guy, and I liked him very much. So, I asked him out. He got pretty homophobic as a result. Now he's super religious, even more than before, and a hardcore Republican. Is that a coincidence? He's the guy I really liked who rejected me, and made me feel really awful, to the point of wanting to end my life because he was so homophobic and I felt like I was this terrible person.


    No man on this earth is worthy for you to take your own life. Be strong and you will find the right person. but do not ever think of taking your life because you have many more men to admire and for them to treat you like a king.

    It happens when you not looking.