WERE WE ALWAYS GAY ?

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    Jun 22, 2011 9:48 PM GMT
    Find interesting answers to this important subject, please visit:

    http://glodieda.blogspot.com/
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    Jun 23, 2011 6:22 AM GMT
    I dont need to find answers. I've been gay since I was born. I cite my penis as a reference.
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    Jun 23, 2011 6:53 AM GMT
    I can remember being gay since I was a week tyke. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 23, 2011 7:19 AM GMT
    God created me a homosexual, thus I have never ever had any confusion about my sexuality, because I have only ever been attracted to the same gender as myself, and never the opposite.

    I'm, proude of my Gold Card too.
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    Jun 23, 2011 7:24 AM GMT
    When I was 6, I can remember my parents having friends over and thinking to myself that I thought one of my dad's friends was very attractive.

    It wasn't sexual at all and I didn't understand it at the time, so I was left in the dark until I had that "a-ha" moment when I was 11. icon_confused.gif

    I don't get the guys who don't realize they're gay until their mid-late twenties. I'm not talking about coming out, but rather being convinced that they're straight. Seriously, how do you not know??
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    Jun 23, 2011 7:38 AM GMT
    Zettabyte saidWhen I was 6, I can remember my parents having friends over and thinking to myself that I thought one of my dad's friends was very attractive.

    It wasn't sexual at all and I didn't understand it at the time, so I was left in the dark until I had that "a-ha" moment when I was 11. icon_confused.gif

    I don't get the guys who don't realize they're gay until their mid-late twenties. I'm not talking about coming out, but rather being convinced that they're straight. Seriously, how do you not know??


    I didn't know until I was 30.

    As to "how" one doesn't know, it's a combination of denial and religion, usually. I had had only one experience with a guy in my early 20s, a few girlfriends through college, grad school, and working life, and plenty of religious friends that offered (insisted) that they could help me "work through my un-wanted same-sex attractions" and all of that utter horseshit. Between all this, and not having more effeminate mannerisms (and no, ppl, I don't want to have that fight right now, but some of us are queenier then others, mmkay?), I never figured it out. Not a good thing, but it happens.
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    Jun 23, 2011 10:17 AM GMT
    Hmmmm... hard to say really. It's different for all of us. I didn't find anyone attractive as a kid but I was introduced to sex at an early age without my permission. It was until after that that I began to notice people and their bodies. In highschool, I went from being straight, to being gay, to being asexual, then suddenly at 29, back to gay. I could be bi (my "teacher" was a female the next one a male) but for now I like where I am at and I'm comfortable with it.
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    Jun 23, 2011 10:40 AM GMT
    torrentprime said
    Zettabyte saidWhen I was 6, I can remember my parents having friends over and thinking to myself that I thought one of my dad's friends was very attractive.

    It wasn't sexual at all and I didn't understand it at the time, so I was left in the dark until I had that "a-ha" moment when I was 11. icon_confused.gif

    I don't get the guys who don't realize they're gay until their mid-late twenties. I'm not talking about coming out, but rather being convinced that they're straight. Seriously, how do you not know??


    I didn't know until I was 30.

    As to "how" one doesn't know, it's a combination of denial and religion, usually. I had had only one experience with a guy in my early 20s, a few girlfriends through college, grad school, and working life, and plenty of religious friends that offered (insisted) that they could help me "work through my un-wanted same-sex attractions" and all of that utter horseshit. Between all this, and not having more effeminate mannerisms (and no, ppl, I don't want to have that fight right now, but some of us are queenier then others, mmkay?), I never figured it out. Not a good thing, but it happens.


    The confusion bisexuals can be afflicted with, yet sexuality is innate, so I suppose it is less confusing when you are only attracted to one gender; 30 seem way to old to me, but then I was out at 5, and punished for it too. But no matter how much they punished me, or tried to man me up, I was never ever so weak to of taken a wife just to please others or be accepted.

    So now I hold My Gold Gay Card with great pride.
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    Jun 23, 2011 12:19 PM GMT
    True_blue_aussie said

    The confusion bisexuals can be afflicted with, yet sexuality is innate, so I suppose it is less confusing when you are only attracted to one gender; 30 seem way to old to me, but then I was out at 5, and punished for it too.

    So now I hold My Gold Card with great pride.


    I never really understood the "I never had sex with the other gender, so I get a special award" thing, but I completely understand and agree that simply knowing what you are can be incredibly powerful and clarifying. It's the not knowing that leads to (in my case) a decade or more of "what's the hell's wrong with me," which isn't good for anyone's mental health.
  • Timbales

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    Jun 23, 2011 12:21 PM GMT
    I didn't identify as gay until around 20-21. I had satisfying relationships with women and didn't really feel a sexual attraction to men until then.
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    Jun 23, 2011 12:24 PM GMT
    I didnt accept it until I was older, but looking back it was obvious. Denial... thy name is AlphaMuscle.
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    Jun 23, 2011 12:25 PM GMT
    Zettabyte saidWhen I was 6, I can remember my parents having friends over and thinking to myself that I thought one of my dad's friends was very attractive.

    It wasn't sexual at all and I didn't understand it at the time, so I was left in the dark until I had that "a-ha" moment when I was 11. icon_confused.gif

    I don't get the guys who don't realize they're gay until their mid-late twenties. I'm not talking about coming out, but rather being convinced that they're straight. Seriously, how do you not know??


    you've grown up in a world very different to some of us... when many of us were young, 'gay' not only wasn't an option, it just didn't exist... no will & grace, no gays on tv or mass media... for many of us, we didn't know anyone gay growing up, we had no exposure at all... gays were invisible... so much has changed in so little time... thanks to the proactive fight many of us are still involved in...
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    Jun 23, 2011 12:30 PM GMT
    Pretty much I was quite the flamboyant child.

    Sort of like Jordy from Will and Grace..

    LOL

    xx
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    Jun 23, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    Student_90 saidPretty much I was quite the flamboyant child.

    Sort of like Jordy from Will and Grace..

    LOL

    xx


    WTF is jordy?
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    Jun 23, 2011 12:51 PM GMT
    Remember Will's gay nephew from the episode "A little Christmas Queer". It is one of the best episodes.

    xx
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    Jun 23, 2011 12:51 PM GMT
    torrentprime said
    Zettabyte saidWhen I was 6, I can remember my parents having friends over and thinking to myself that I thought one of my dad's friends was very attractive.

    It wasn't sexual at all and I didn't understand it at the time, so I was left in the dark until I had that "a-ha" moment when I was 11. icon_confused.gif

    I don't get the guys who don't realize they're gay until their mid-late twenties. I'm not talking about coming out, but rather being convinced that they're straight. Seriously, how do you not know??


    I didn't know until I was 30.

    As to "how" one doesn't know, it's a combination of denial and religion, usually. I had had only one experience with a guy in my early 20s, a few girlfriends through college, grad school, and working life, and plenty of religious friends that offered (insisted) that they could help me "work through my un-wanted same-sex attractions" and all of that utter horseshit. Between all this, and not having more effeminate mannerisms (and no, ppl, I don't want to have that fight right now, but some of us are queenier then others, mmkay?), I never figured it out. Not a good thing, but it happens.


    ^This...exactly the same for me. It's not that I didn't know exactly, I always knew there was something there I was suppressing but I just grew up in a very Catholic/Conservative environment with no positive exposure to gays so I was very much alone and in the dark with it all so I just slipped into deep deep denial and self repression...I'd find myself drawn to certain male friends growing up and not understand why and in my head I'd justify it as me being an only child seeking a brother figure (but really when I look back after having the "aha" moment I can see now I was crushing on these guys icon_razz.gif) I dated girls all through high school and the first chunk of college until I finally couldn't deny it all any longer to myself and just came to terms with it. So yeah, it's really different for all of us...and very much depends on your life circumstances. College was when I was finally on my own away from the bubble I grew up in so I was finally able to do some soul searching and really become myself...and that's when I was able to finally get out of denial thankfully.

    I hope that helped clarify how you can "not know". It really has a lot to do with how you are raised/the environment you are in.
  • humblejock

    Posts: 17

    Jun 23, 2011 1:11 PM GMT
    We've only been around 40,000 years. In that time frame, yes. In other civilizations that existed before may be gay, may not be, or gay could be the "norm" ... plenty to talk about in this forum.
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    Jun 23, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    To quote Gaga:icon_redface.gif
    "Baby we're born this way."

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    Jun 23, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    Yes, we were always gay. Gay as springtime.
  • Timbales

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    Jun 23, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    I didn't grow up in an environment that oppressed my 'true self' on any level. My family never went to church, didn't hear any homophobic comments until I got to junior high school. I liked girls, thought they were pretty, liked to be with them and kiss them for a long time. I wasn't kidding myself or trying to hide anything. When I realized I had feelings for a male friend, it was a surprise to me because I didn't really find other men attractive. That changed later.

    While I do think there are people that are 'born gay', I don't think that's the case for everyone. Human beings are complex and trying to just cram everyone into a simple box to make things easier just isn't right.
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Jun 23, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    torrentprime said
    Zettabyte saidWhen I was 6, I can remember my parents having friends over and thinking to myself that I thought one of my dad's friends was very attractive.

    It wasn't sexual at all and I didn't understand it at the time, so I was left in the dark until I had that "a-ha" moment when I was 11. icon_confused.gif

    I don't get the guys who don't realize they're gay until their mid-late twenties. I'm not talking about coming out, but rather being convinced that they're straight. Seriously, how do you not know??


    I didn't know until I was 30.

    As to "how" one doesn't know, it's a combination of denial and religion, usually. I had had only one experience with a guy in my early 20s, a few girlfriends through college, grad school, and working life, and plenty of religious friends that offered (insisted) that they could help me "work through my un-wanted same-sex attractions" and all of that utter horseshit. Between all this, and not having more effeminate mannerisms (and no, ppl, I don't want to have that fight right now, but some of us are queenier then others, mmkay?), I never figured it out. Not a good thing, but it happens.


    Puberty is a very difficult and confusing time. And it is somewhat a generational thing as well. It is not unusual for teenagers to be confused as to who and what they are. In my generation one could not so easily admit that he was homosexual or even bi. It was simply unacceptable to society and thus to one's self. And the psychologists back then told us that it was a "stage" that we go through, and that as we become more mature we would turn those attractions to women. Well, who doesn't want to be "mature"? So many of us [including yours truly] forced ourselves to disassociate from the boy-boy thing and "directed" our attention to females. That's partly why so many of my generation were married, some stifling their gay tendencies entirely, and "just living with it", others not so successfully; some successfully for a number of years [in marriage or not], and then reverting after the long hiatus, some remaining married but engaging in gay sex on the side, some getting divorced.; some never learning who they truly are!
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Jun 23, 2011 4:33 PM GMT
    76coopers said
    Student_90 saidPretty much I was quite the flamboyant child.

    Sort of like Jordy from Will and Grace..

    LOL

    xx


    WTF is jordy?


    Jordy is a nickname for Jordan. LOL
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Jun 23, 2011 4:56 PM GMT


    Quoting: "you've grown up in a world very different to some of us... when many of us were young, 'gay' not only wasn't an option, it just didn't exist... no will & grace, no gays on tv or mass media... for many of us, we didn't know anyone gay growing up, we had no exposure at all... gays were invisible... so much has changed in so little time... thanks to the proactive fight many of us are still involved in..".[/quote]

    RIGHT ON, and I'm old enough to be YOUR father!
    Read my post above. I had a boyfriend at 15, dated girls too, though I wondered why -- just that it was the "thing to do" [nothing else was remotely acceptable] . Later, after convincing myself that that "stage" was past, and I was "completely straight", I was married [for 22 years] . My wife used to compliment me for not ogling women "like other men do". Little did she know that I was checking out the men! Nor did I actually, for "I was completely straight". It wasn't sexual [i.e.,in my conscious mind, my subconscious was of course another scene], I "admired" them, thought they were nice guys that I would like to get to know better, etc, but sex? furthest thing from my [conscious] mind. When I was divorced [at 50+] I still didn't know what I wanted [although I'd had some guy experiences for several years]. I dated one woman, and by the third date she told me she was disappointed that I hadn't come on to her. It was then I realized that I had no desire to go to bed with her, notwithstanding that I greatly enjoyed being with her. So I broke it off, and to date have not had sex with a woman since my wife
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    Jun 23, 2011 5:32 PM GMT
    Contrary to popular belief in this thread, being gay is a choice. We are not born gay.

    Yes people, we have chosen to be discriminated against, attacked, fired, killed, beaten up, bullied, and so forth, because lets face it, that is much better than being accepted.

    Right people?
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    Jun 23, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    We love, we live, we die.
    What we do is us and only us.icon_idea.gif