Life isn't fair for negative people.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 24, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    Now, hear me out, I remember reading this article a while back about a man who was feeling slighted by health care workers at his local testing site. He said he'd test every six months and when he'd go he'd feel nervous, afraid, and feel physical pain from the anxiety. However, he'd get his negative result and very apathetically, he'd be dismissed by the health care worker to go...live his life. I remember giggling at this, but the next couple times I got tested I paid attention and it was a very cold experience for me too.

    The man in the article was in a bigger city so he witnessed people receiving the news of a positive status several times. I mean, he didn't over hear, but the reaction from people talking to a worker or just having done, were pretty telling. He observed the compassion and the time spent to calm them and the care put in outlining where they go from there.

    As a negative, he felt he was slighted any of that TLC. He said he was sent out back into the world, only 90% sure his negative status was due to anything he'd done. 10% of him wanted to be reassured he could prevent infection.

    Well, I've felt like this too. You send me off negative, but no farewell? I gotta be positive before you re arm me? Now I'm out there just as weirded out as before and all I know is don't bareback and suit up. I guess that's all there is to it, but no refresher, Universal Health Care Staff? What about me? Where's my, "do good, boy."

    Do ya feel the cold too? Do you want a little compassion after getting that negative result?

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    Jun 24, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    <_<

    >_>

    >_<

    are you freakin kidding? I've never had a test when they didn't spend ten times longer reading "safe sex" scripts than doing the actual test.

    Anyway, they do free HIV testing at the baths and in the back rooms of clubs. You can take your results and do compassion unto your fellow man.

    Some of them just don't get it though. I've seen guys doing a BB gang bang while waiting for their test results. I've also seen a couple of guys staggering out of the counseling room after getting the bad news. One guy was in such a bad state, I couldn't believe they sent him away on his own.

    Maybe negative guys could get a little packet with some condoms, lube and and chocolate. All it takes is somebody to donate the stuff.
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    Jun 24, 2011 6:08 AM GMT
    life isnt fair for anyone. /thread
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    Jun 24, 2011 6:56 AM GMT
    It really is unfortunate for how hard life can be for men who have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. I remember when I first came out, I thought that guys who tested positive for HIV deserved it for not having safe sex but then along the way, I saw how some guys who ended up getting the disease wasn't entirely their fault (ie: HIV positive partners who lie to their HIV negative partners just so they can have unprotected sex).

    But in reality, life is hard for anyone...
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    Jun 24, 2011 8:04 AM GMT
    I have mixed feelings on the whole HIV thing as, I have lost friends to it, I have seen folks BB at the bath houses, and I too am aware folks lie. One Pos guy was talking about he told all his casual partners he was positive. I asked him if that meant he told anyone he met at bath houses etc, he said those folks knew what they were getting into. I asked if he considered that, some of those guys might be too shy or afraid to ask, & that wasn't he just assuming they knew that they knew what they were getting into, & that it wasn't true that he told Everyone. At that point he had a stunned look of realization come over his face, & got quiet. It makes me mad how some pos folks can have such a smug attitude of, I'll tell everyone, yet not tell everyone. I always use protection, & will only have sex with someone who uses protection, & that has kept me negative. I have had to turn down some really hot dudes, but when someone is insistent on sex without protection, I figure they have something to offer, that I don't want. I think I may be extra cautious because, the Aids crisis hit while I was in high school, & I didn't come out till my 30s because I struggled with being gay due to being molested one day, when I was 5. I think this helped me avoid getting infected at the height of the crisis, & since I was older & more mature when I came out, I was more prepared to make such decisions. I also have had health problems, & I donated a kidney, so I can't risk adding anything more onto my plate. I have also lost too many people in my family over the years, so that's part of it too. Young people, and even many middle aged people feel constructable, so they play careless games with their health, either with sex, bad eating habits, lifestyle, etc. I see adds on craigslist, for people seeking breeders, bare bottoms, etc, & it reminds me of a documentary of some young folks who deliberately got infected, because they couldn't deal with the anxiety of possibly getting infected. Once infected these young folks quickly started getting sick, & then they truly felt sad at the mistake they had done.
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    Jun 25, 2011 8:07 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    And by the way, when I got my HIV positive test results I was tossed a phone book (a resource guide for HIV care) and was asked, "What are you going to do?" Stunned with my results I replied with, "I don't know." To that she replied, "Good luck." And I was out of my "counselor's" office in less than two minutes.


    Damn...was that when they released you from prison LOL.

    Most real counselors would have done more than that.
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    Jun 25, 2011 8:16 PM GMT
    tl;dr but I just hate that they ask you so much about your sex life when you go get tested, how many men have you slept with in the last 12 months, 6 months, 3 months, like I keep a list of the guys I sleep with LOL (if I did it would be a short-ish list tho)
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    Jun 26, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    Boo hoo, people don't coddle me because I'm negative. Grow a skin.

    There are barely enough resources to support those with HIV. If you have a negative result, pat yourself on the back and move on.

    If you need a hug, ask a friend, because those people are there to help and support people who turn up positive, not to coddle people who are negative, giving them a chocolate medal for staying negative, or throwing confetti with you when you celebrate.

    And the title of this post is offensive. Life isn't fair for negative people? Really?

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    Jun 27, 2011 10:16 AM GMT
    Yeah, it's negative and you're fine. What do you want them to say lol?

    If you're that anxious about it being positive you need to re-evaluate where you are putting your dick imo icon_razz.gif






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    Jun 27, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    I'm disappointed. I thought this was about people with a negative attitude on life. Life is hard for them too! icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 27, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidI'm disappointed. I thought this was about people with a negative attitude on life. Life is hard for them too! icon_lol.gif


    Especially if they have a negative attitude about their successful avoidance of acquiring a major life changing permanent illness.
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    Jun 27, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    Yes, Iron_Cassanova.

    Lets all go out and become positive with HIV because that will make life easier for us.

    Getting some cold treatment at an overused facility is much worse than having a virus eat away at our immune system.

    You should win the Nobel Prize for this one.

    Fucking Genius!
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    Jun 28, 2011 6:05 AM GMT
    Unreal! How about leaving this clinic rejoicing that your life and health will remain unchanged. If you need additional advice/guidance regarding your sexual health then make your request known, but I don't think they need to give most of the support and resources to keep you alive as they do another person who is probably walking out of the clinic in a state of shock. Not wasting those resources will allow you the benefit of being able to come back and be tested at minimal/free charge. Try joining a book club.
    ...And congratulations on testing negative.
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    Jun 28, 2011 6:42 AM GMT
    I recall when one was studding social work. I was to go to a positive centre in my City to do an assignment, on HIV/AIDS. I went in a stood at reception, heads popped out, looked at me and doors just shut. Until some-one come out rudely ask what I was there for. I was to inform him why and he just stormed off. I was to wait, and wait, until a female worker come out to talk to me, and to give me the information I come seeking.

    She was to inform me the reasion the guys would not talk to me was because they had assessed I was some healthy straight guy, and how dare I basically. I was to inform her how rude, wrong and inappropriate, their response and assessment was.

    That I in fact was a homosexual, who also survived the gay plauge era, and had had a long history supporting and fighting for the gay community, when so many did nothing. She wanted to go and explain to the guys, and I was like to late, they made their assessment,and now I'll make mine.

    The whole experience was cold and rude, now if I had of looked like some sickly queen it would of been a diffrent story.

    My private life for many years has meant I am in no need to be tested so, one is not to endure such cold none caring experiences. Yet I am warm and supportive in my job and out, of people dealing with HIV/AIDS.
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    Jun 28, 2011 11:35 PM GMT
    Hmmm, flashback to September 1st, 1995 and I have two choices.

    1. Doctor glances up at me briefly and says "oh buy the way your HIV test results have come back, no worries it was negative." then basically dismisses me out of hand.

    2. "I got your HIV test results back and I am really sorry but it came back positive." I can barely hear the rest of what he has to say because I have this rushing sound in my head due to severe shock.

    I will let you guess which one I would have picked. icon_mad.gif
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    Jun 29, 2011 12:04 AM GMT
    I think this thread is very insensitive to the people who do test positive. I'm usually happy as a clam the minute I hear the word "negative." After I hear that word, the guy can tell me to fuck off for all I care.
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    Jun 29, 2011 12:14 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidI think this thread is very insensitive to the people who do test positive. I'm usually happy as a clam the minute I hear the word "negative." After I hear that word, the guy can tell me to fuck off for all I care.


    +1 don't u think it is good enough that u get the "negative" results...u also want a pet talk on how good of a boy you've been???icon_rolleyes.gif common man
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    Jul 03, 2011 6:09 AM GMT

    LOL, to anyone who seriously replied to this thread, I've got some magic beans to sell you because you're a dumb fuck.

    MuchMoreThanMuscle, I have nothing to say, but, wow, and *hug,* no hard feelings, you are beautiful in your own twisted ways.

    Chainers...fuck you. Your flabby man boobs always did make me feel like vomiting. But you're...well, no but, you suck.

    To all of the boys and girls living with AIDS, you know I meant no harm and hey, at the end of the day, you probably had more sex than me. I've yet to feel the bare insides of a man or woman and I probably never will because I know what an ass is for *fart,* and I never met a pussy I liked. Well, that's a lie; I did meet one pussy on here I liked very much, but I'll never get to shove latex in him. icon_lol.gif

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    Jul 03, 2011 6:21 AM GMT
    Iron_Casanova said
    LOL, to anyone who seriously replied to this thread, I've got some magic beans to sell you because you're a dumb fuck.

    MuchMoreThanMuscle, I have nothing to say, but, wow, and *hug,* no hard feelings, you are beautiful in your own twisted ways.

    Chainers...fuck you. Your flabby man boobs always did make me feel like vomiting. But you're...well, no but, you suck.

    To all of the boys and girls living with AIDS, you know I meant no harm and hey, at the end of the day, you probably had more sex than me. I've yet to feel the bare insides of a man or woman and I probably never will because I know what an ass is for *fart,* and I never met a pussy I liked. Well, that's a lie; I did meet one pussy on here I liked very much, but I'll never get to shove latex in him. icon_lol.gif




    hidden /deleted? what does this mean?

    EDIT : I get it now, Right after Iron_Casanova posted this he blocked me so that I would not be able respond to him. Who is the pussy again?
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    Jul 03, 2011 6:58 AM GMT
    intentsman said



    hidden /deleted? what does this mean?

    EDIT : I get it now, Right after Iron_Casanova posted this he blocked me so that I would not be able respond to him. Who is the pussy again?


    I've never even responded to any of his comments and I have been blocked - unless he has been deleted?
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    Jul 04, 2011 6:33 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIf you're going to a clinic for free HIV testing do you honestly expect top notch customer service and pampering? These clinics have tons of work to do, are understaffed, underpaid and you want TLC.

    "Life isn't fair for negative people."

    Poor you.

    What a fucking joke.


    And by the way, when I got my HIV positive test results I was tossed a phone book (a resource guide for HIV care) and was asked, "What are you going to do?" Stunned with my results I replied with, "I don't know." To that she replied, "Good luck." And I was out of my "counselor's" office in less than two minutes.



    Exactly.....my nurse (not even my dr) threw my file at me & said your positive. They gave me the phone # to an hiv dr, pretty much said good luck to ya, kiss my ass & get out of our office. Of course this was after I paid my co-pay. My experience was devastating, lonley & inconsiderate.

    I think anyone getting a negative test result is rewarding enough....to complain about how your treated because of it is fucking ridiculous.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Aug 02, 2011 11:39 PM GMT
    thanks for sharing this perspective...

    I spend at least one shift every week as an HIV test screener/counselor for a San Francisco based clinic...

    I can tell you I spend most of my time with negative clients. Although there is a general outline to the time I spend with a client [about 40 minutes or so]...5 minutes is going over consent and context of the meeting...20 minutes is just running the rapid test [and at the same time talking about sexual practices, HIV infection knowledge and risk, as well as frequency and barriers to regular HIV and STD testing]...the last15 minutes are spent answering individual questions, referring to appropriate resources and trying to work out at least one prevention goal to staying HIV negative...

    It is never enough time.

    When a client tests preliminary positive, I have experienced two types of reactions:

    1. The client doesn't want to leave with the clinic witht he result and has tons of processing to do.
    2. The client wants to jump up and run out of the room

    My time with clients with a positive result is really based on what the client needs and no longer constrained by time. So yes, it is true that a positive result may change the time you spend with a counselor, but I wouldn't assume HIV negative results "get the shaft" [no pun intended]...the goal for the clinic I volunteer at is to keep people negative...

    - David icon_wink.gif

  • maroon10

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    Jan 15, 2012 9:07 AM GMT
    you should be happy man what you want them to say to you. LOL i never seen this in my life
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    Jan 15, 2012 9:26 AM GMT
    mindgarden said<_<

    >_>

    >_<

    are you freakin kidding? I've never had a test when they didn't spend ten times longer reading "safe sex" scripts than doing the actual test.

    Anyway, they do free HIV testing at the baths and in the back rooms of clubs. You can take your results and do compassion unto your fellow man.

    Some of them just don't get it though. I've seen guys doing a BB gang bang while waiting for their test results. I've also seen a couple of guys staggering out of the counseling room after getting the bad news. One guy was in such a bad state, I couldn't believe they sent him away on his own.

    Maybe negative guys could get a little packet with some condoms, lube and and chocolate. All it takes is somebody to donate the stuff.


    This has always been the way its been for me when I get tested. Seems to me that some people aren't doing there jobs.

  • Jan 24, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    My first time getting tested was last month on the 27th it wasnt a bad experience except for the waiting. But i didnt care what anyone said to me as long as the test came back negative.Which it did. Thanks God