friend or dating potential? Can't get a good read.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2011 8:09 PM GMT
    I've been reading a lot of these forums but never got an account till today.. thought I'd throw this out there.

    Met this guy a couple months ago from another online website. We've been hanging out pretty regularly since then, getting dinner/movies/etc. kind of like dates, but kind of not, I'm not sure how to classify them. It's like I'm hanging out with one of my buddies. We've gotten pretty close over the past couple months but nothing physical. We have a lot in common and it doesn't help that he's attractive.

    The subject has never come up about what we are or what we're doing, but I think I'm starting to get attached and maybe want more.

    I do value having a gay friend since all of my friends are straight, so I definitely don't want to mess up what we have by trying to take the next step. What are other people's experiences with this? Should I just play it safe and settle for friends?
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    Jun 25, 2011 8:23 PM GMT
    If you've been hanging out a few months, you're friends.
    If you want to date this guy, tell him or make a move...unless you like having a secret crush on your friend and nothing happening between the two of you.
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    Jun 25, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    Haha, no I dont like having this feeling and not being up front about it, but I like to do some game theory. If I say something and he's board, that's a win win, if the opposite, it's a lose lose. I'm just wondering what other people's experiences are after the lose lose scenario arises.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    Ermine saidIf you've been hanging out a few months, you're friends.
    If you want to date this guy, tell him or make a move...unless you like having a secret crush on your friend and nothing happening between the two of you.


    Basically this icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 27, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    He was also dating someone for about a month when we first initially met, so I don't know if that matters. This was around March or so... I just don't know what the script is like and how to bring it up, so if there are any other people with similar experiences, please share!
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    Jun 27, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    What's the lose lose? He might say he doesn't want to date you.
    If you want to find love, you will need to take a risk at some point.

    You've been hanging out for a few months. He might not realize that you're into him. He might have picked up on it and not wanted to make the first move or might not be interested.
    The point is if you are into this guy and want to move forward tell him. Tell him how you value his friendship and you don't want to jeopardize it (giving him an out if he's not into you but wants to stay friends) and that you're attracted to him and would like to take a chance on dating him.
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    Jun 27, 2011 6:15 AM GMT
    Sounds like friends. If YOU have doubts talk about it...you never know icon_smile.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jun 27, 2011 6:20 AM GMT
    It sounds like friends, but if it's more it would be in his eyes and he would look for ways to touch you for no reason...alot.icon_idea.gif
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    Jun 27, 2011 10:25 PM GMT
    How does that change your relationship though with the other person? I'm just afraid of telling him how I feel, he's not on board, and then we don't hang out as much or it's really awkward for him.

    What have other people done to ameliorate that potential issue?