Ever had someone say they knew you were gay before you did?

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    Jun 26, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    Was checking out MH while on vacation in my hometown and an old HS friend recognized me (I use facepics there too) and wanted to meet. He said he knew years before I did that I was gay.

    I asked him how he knew in HS...some 30 years before I would have my first sexual relationship with another man and he said that it was fairly obvious...my attention to appearance....the way I layed low during HS...and the way I acted...always having girlfriends, but never really getting serious.

    I have not told many of my old friends from HS and college about my sexuality, so I have not heard this before....and it was fascinating to me to hear how differently he viewed my than I though I was being seen in HS.

    Is this pretty common thing for people to say and does it get really old sometimes? Just curious what your experiences might be with other people telling you they knew before you.

    Mike
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    My mother.
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:31 AM GMT
    A lot of people, except my parents... apparently.
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Iceblink saidMy mother.


    My mom passed away some years ago, so I have not been able to confirm exactly what she meant, but she told me once that I was different than all of her other 7 kids.

    Moms seems to always know??
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    moscowmikey said
    Iceblink saidMy mother.


    My mom passed away some years ago, so I have not been able to confirm exactly what she meant, but she told me once that I was different than all of her other 7 kids.

    Moms seems to always know??


    I think most do. My mom said she knew since I was about four. She said she was able to take it so well when I told her because she was already prepared that it was coming someday.
  • Lincsbear

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    Jun 26, 2011 3:31 AM GMT
    Same here,Iceblink.
  • groundcombat

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    Jun 26, 2011 6:55 AM GMT
    Not really. I thought my mom knew because she kept asking me about chicks so I told them. Guess I read that on wrong
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:07 AM GMT
    Some of my non-religious family, but not my parents. They always knew I was different, but being gay wasn't an option since they didn't believe in it. They were in denial way longer than I was.
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:12 AM GMT
    Sometimes i wish people could automatically tell so i'd never have to come out to anybody. When my brother and I came out to my mom, she said IMPOSSIBLE!!..then she started thinking it was a faze, i think she believes us now though.
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:14 AM GMT
    Other than the schoolyard torment of being called gay long before I realized I was, my boss in college was the first to openly talk to me about it before anyone. I'd painted a large oil portrait of this guy I was in love with and she somehow figured that because I'd painstakingly painted this portrait that I was in love with him! The nerve of some people I tell you.
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:22 AM GMT
    The fact that sexuality is innate, and I was out at 5. I have to say no. Yet I find the thought entertaining; amusing even. Oh and it's not as if I was in a safe place to do so either.
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:23 AM GMT
    nope always knew before anyone else. I wish I knew someone who knew I was gay before I told them, but don't have any friends from before high school anymore.
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:53 AM GMT
    I think my sister. She would always say "my closeted brother" lol in public. Later with less lucks with the chicks, i decided to really check it out. I did like it very much!
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:59 AM GMT
    Some of the people I went to high school with had a bet pool on how long it would take me to come out. Even though I had a girlfriend back then, I wouldn't do much more than hold her hand. Apparently her incessant whining that I wouldn't throw her the bone pretty much sealed their assessment of me.

    It made coming out a lot easier in the long run.
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    Jun 26, 2011 12:48 PM GMT
    Happened to me a couple of times with some friends of mine. I went through all this preparation to come out and their response was something along the lines of 'big deal, we suspected this for a while'. Where the while was before even I suspected I was gay.
  • Rowing_Ant

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    Jun 26, 2011 12:50 PM GMT
    My mother did.
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    Jun 26, 2011 12:53 PM GMT
    hmm moms usually know before you...

    Gay%20Baby.jpg
  • rnch

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    Jun 26, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    my best friend (at tht time) gently told me several times that i was gay and didn't know it.


    a wild, drunken, raucous thanksgiving night 3 way with him and his wife confirmed what he had been telling me.


    icon_twisted.gif


    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 26, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    I always thought I was a lot more macho or masculine than I actually was. People have told me that. We sometimes give ourselves away. Have you ever wondered why some people just didn't seem to like you no matter how nice and decent you have been to them? I've recently come to the conclusion that such people perceive you as gay and they are homophobic (not true all the time but at least it's an explanation for me).
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    Jun 26, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    Yes. It was a very awkward conversation.I had a girlfriend at the time and hadnt been with a guy since high school... i was 22. I had picked my uncle up and was taking him to a wedding rehearsal for my sister.(he was he minister) He starting talking to me and then started eluding to the fact that it would be difficult for me being well "you know" and gave me the eyes and the stare down. I had no idea what to say back... I was shocked... but he was right!
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    Jun 26, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    Some people in high school knew way before I did. My mom and dad were shocked when I told them I was a MO, my mom said "But you had so many girlfriends and posters of bikini bimbo's" icon_eek.gif
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    Jun 26, 2011 1:37 PM GMT
    My acting teacher knew years before I did and in retrospect, I see she tried to give me little clues so that I might realize it on my own.

    My mom said that it crossed her mind but I don't know how much of that was "I need to know that I knew."

    For years, I was bothered that people weren't noticing me, that I was invisible. I just didnt get it. Once I realized I was gay, I realized that I was making myself invisible by always hiding a part of myself. Subconsciously I was telling people not to notice me or get too close. People pick up on the fact that youre not being who you are and subconciuosly write you off. Fascinating how the mind works.
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    I haven't had that particular comment yet, although I do seem to get "Now that I think about it, that makes sense" quite a bit. Which may just be an indicator that my friends are pretty much as clueless as me.

    There aren't many straight people who can connect the dots like that, though, considering they really have no reason to look for the dots in the first place. Unfortunately, I never had any gay friends in high school, although if I had, I'm sure they would've seen the signs.
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    My bff. And one of my friends said she knew I had the capacity for it, but that I wasn't fully gay, which is probably an accurate assessment.
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    aerovaulter saidI haven't had that particular comment yet, although I do seem to get "Now that I think about it, that makes sense" quite a bit. Which may just be an indicator that my friends are pretty much as clueless as me.

    There aren't many straight people who can connect the dots like that, though, considering they really have no reason to look for the dots in the first place. Unfortunately, I never had any gay friends in high school, although if I had, I'm sure they would've seen the signs.


    I agree. Straight people aren't usually good at telling. There is ONE exception though, and this happens to me quite a bit, and it is:

    The girls who are attracted to you, who wanted to date you, but decided to be close to you as a friend first. They find you sexually attractive, sensitive and in tune to their feelings, and funny. However, the strange thing is that no matter how they much they flirt, no matter how sexy they make themselves to be, you aren't going to have sex with them. Those are the girls who always say, in retrospect, "damn I knew you were gay, you never wanted to have sex with me."

    Tada...? Mystery solved...?