Is anyone trying to meet someone from connexion and bigmuscle?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 2:55 AM GMT
    I have a bigmuscle and connexion account that I've had for a couple months now.

    When I 1st signed up on connexion I got like 4 or 5 replies in a couple of days. Then after that I have barely gotten a single response. And when I message other guys (which is only a few here and there), they may reply once but most don't reply at all.

    Big muscle is the same way. I barely ever get any messages in my inbox and when I do it's someone from way across the country. I've messaged people here and there as well but haven't gotten much in the way of responses either.

    Meanwhile hookup site adam4adam seems to be winning 1st place. But at the same time I find the quality of the guys on there are lacking in many aspects.

    Anyone have accounts on there and notice the same thing? I almost wonder why there's all these hundreds of profiles up where I live but I've only met about 2 or 3 guys and that was when I very first put my profile up. All 3 of which turned out to be either nuts or just completely not my type. One of them deleted their profile one day after saying we were going to meet up.
  • Spiritreaver

    Posts: 2086

    Jun 26, 2011 5:14 AM GMT
    Big muscle weirds me out. Like everyone has professionally taken pics in their profiles and are out of this world hot, whether they're 21 or 57. I almost feel like it's just a place for porn stars and the self absorbed to get off lol.

    Although I'm not being entirely serious. I've had some nice chats there, but it seems to be a site where genuine conversations are few, and swapping skype accounts is the thing to do.

    But maybe I'm just not hot/old/out there enough to get attention on there. I don't know.

    Never tried that other site. A4A is just, ugh...tons of messages but mostly from creeps or closet cases.

    Then there's gayfriendcount.com, I mean DList.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 5:19 AM GMT
    yeah adam is where i get hit up the most, but i hardly meet dudes from there cuz they all wanna fuck, RJ has been my go-to site to meet guys, ive met plenty of awesome ones icon_smile.gif near and far, in person and internet buds
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    Jun 26, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    I don't like BigMuscle - I recently deleted my account.
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    Jun 26, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    Bigmuscle is for 21+ people. By then I'll probably have a life and won't care.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    Should I make an account in these sites? I don't even know them, I'm so bad at being gay. Or good at not doing hook-ups.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Jun 26, 2011 5:49 AM GMT
    I find RJ to be much more friendly.

    I've used bigmuscle but not anymore. I don't remember why, probably because I'm on every other gay website.

    I meet once person off connexion and it was worth it! Great guy, still talk to him. Other than that, it's been miss. Guys never message back on there!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    What are good gay networking websites that a gay guy with not so much gay experience should check out? To meet people and such?

    P.S. The "and such" does not necessarily mean sex icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 6:00 AM GMT
    Bigmuscle=Look how hot I am and how perfect my life is but don't contact me.

    Adam4adam=Come over and fuck right now or piss off.

    Manhunt=Be hot or I won't talk to you.

    Realjock= I want friends. If you're hot.

    Connexion=Hello? Anybody there?
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jun 26, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    miamimasseur saidBigmuscle=Look how hot I am and how perfect my life is but don't contact me.

    Adam4adam=Come over and fuck right now or piss off.

    Manhunt=Be hot or I won't talk to you.

    Realjock= I want friends. If you're hot.

    Connexion=Hello? Anybody there?


    LOL YES!!!! The new slogans for these sites lol

    Although there ARE the exceptions on each site. I have met great guys from all except bigmuscle and connexion, they seem dead except in the MAJOR cities
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 6:07 AM GMT
    miamimasseur saidBigmuscle=Look how hot I am and how perfect my life is but don't contact me.

    Adam4adam=Come over and fuck right now or piss off.

    Manhunt=Be hot or I won't talk to you.

    Realjock= I want friends. If you're hot.

    Connexion=Hello? Anybody there?



    icon_lol.gif !!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 6:19 AM GMT
    miamimasseur saidBigmuscle=Look how hot I am and how perfect my life is but don't contact me.

    Adam4adam=Come over and fuck right now or piss off.

    Manhunt=Be hot or I won't talk to you.

    Realjock= I want friends. If you're hot.

    Connexion=Hello? Anybody there?


    Thanks dude, I'll consider the above info ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 6:39 AM GMT
    OMG! BigMuscle looks so "primitive." Like a website made in the 90s! How do I NAVIGATE THAT THING, OY!
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    Jun 26, 2011 6:56 AM GMT
    miamimasseur saidBigmuscle=Look how hot I am and how perfect my life is but don't contact me.

    Adam4adam=Come over and fuck right now or piss off.

    Manhunt=Be hot or I won't talk to you.

    Realjock= I want friends. If you're hot.

    Connexion=Hello? Anybody there?


    So true.
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    Jun 26, 2011 7:19 AM GMT
    I know andy and bill, the owners of bigmuscle, very well. They are two of the nicest and most unpretentious guys you'll ever meet. They also go out of their way to arrange 'meet and great' parties in cities around the US and Canada so that site members can meet in person. That's more than most gay sites can say they do. I've been to several of them in southern Cali... The people are nice and very approachable. I find the bigmuscle crowd, in general, to be older and more 'bearish', but i believe those traits alone diminish the online facade that most people seem to create. People do chat on connexion, but it has always been more conservative... the no nudity and strict behavior policies were born of Mormon/conservative heritage with strong ties to the Denver and salt lake city communities.

    The reality of the online world is that all the sites are for 'seeing and being seen'... take the relative superficiality of the gay world and add the anonymity of the online persona and you get a virtual S&M bar.... 'stand and model'. It is what it is. If you really expect to meet people online put yourself out there and say hello. I find that investing in online friendships is difficult due to workload and distance, so I don't expect much more than an occasional hello from people that have gone out of their way to stay in touch. I think most people meet friends and lovers in person. That's hard to do in a virtual world. So just keep it all in perspective and you won't be disappointed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 8:12 AM GMT
    miamimasseur saidBigmuscle=Look how hot I am and how perfect my life is but don't contact me.

    Adam4adam=Come over and fuck right now or piss off.

    Manhunt=Be hot or I won't talk to you.

    Realjock= I want friends. If you're hot.

    Connexion=Hello? Anybody there?


    THIS.

    I never talk to people on BigMuscle haha. I would, but c2cing is bad for career prospects if they're smart enough to use CamStudio so... look but don't contact.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 10:23 AM GMT
    I have to agree with that.. I don't have a Big muscle account but I do have a connexion account. The people there just seem... Not responsive.. I mean, I try to be friendly as possible and say hello to guys but most guys don't respond back. And one of the guys I said "hello, how are you doing" blocked me... Hmm.. I'm not sure why that happened.. *shrug* The only person I ever had a small conversation with was a lesbian girl on the site but she stopped talking to me so yeah, other than that, Connexion is kind of a miss for me.

    Adam4adam is pretty much meh. Surprisingly enough, I met one guy there who was actually genuine and we are friends. I actually visited him today and it was fun. It's cool because he's not all about sex and doesn't force me to engage in it. But other then that, the other guys I met there were either; old, creepy, closet case, rude, only cared about sex, and fakes. So I don't sign on to that site as much as I used to.

    Manhunt is the same though not as sucessful as ADA when I met my friend. The guys there were pretty much how miamimasseur said, "Be hot or I won't talk to you". I know I'm not the best looking guy but I wouldn't even want to be around people who only cared about looks. And from experience on the site, that's how the people were aside from the creepy old guys who tried to get at me. Like ADA, I don't use it as much or in this hardly at all.

    I haven't really met a lot of people on RJ though the ones I tried to get to meet never responded except for one guy but he has a busy work life so I don't blame him. But yeah, other guys I tried to engage a conversation with aren't interested but at least in this site, the whole atmosphere is more lax and approachable than that of sex hookup sites (No pictures of penis or buttholes which is much more comfortable for me).. icon_neutral.gif

    But in the end, I have to agree with rightasrain, the online world is superficial but that's just how it is. You really can't do nothing about it. If you're not "hot enough" or "age appropriate", you won't be looked at as much and I speak from experience. You shouldn't take online friendships personal because it's very difficult to sustain due to work and all sorts of other personal life matters. I learned that about a year ago so I don't take online relationships personal unless I actually meet the guy and he lives close by to where we can hang out or I gradually get to know said person.

    The only advice I can give is to just not give up if you really want to make the online thing work but ADA is not the best place to look because most guys there are only there for hookups, are as you put "nuts", and so on. If you actually want to meet some people, there's always the option of going out and meeting some guys (if it's possible where you live?). Meeting guys in real life is hard but it can be much more fulfilling in my opinion.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Jun 26, 2011 10:57 AM GMT
    In the NY area, OKCupid is also a good site, much more focused on friendship and at least starting out non-sexual. Sexual pix aren't even allowed on the site. I don't know how well it works in other areas.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 1:04 PM GMT
    Bigmuscle is a great site. I met my partner of 7 plus years on there. The sites are what you make of them. You have to sell yourself and do more than just give one or two word messages.
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    Jun 26, 2011 1:13 PM GMT
    jerseywoof saidBigmuscle is a great site. I met my partner of 7 plus years on there. The sites are what you make of them. You have to sell yourself and do more than just give one or two word messages.
    Ok.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 11:05 PM GMT
    I have a connexion and D-List account. It seems like the quality guys on those sites have moved somewhere else or abandoned it altogether. D-List turned into a bad parody of Myspace and the guys who still use that site aren't really my type.

    I've met higher quality of guys here on RJ. Maybe it's because we like to keep ourselves healthy and exercise...
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    Jun 26, 2011 11:07 PM GMT
    jerseywoof saidBigmuscle is a great site. I met my partner of 7 plus years on there. The sites are what you make of them. You have to sell yourself and do more than just give one or two word messages.


    Oh believe me I do. I never send a message saying, "hi?" or "hi sexy". I usually try to say something like, "hey how's it going..." and will generally add on something they mention in their profile. But usually I like to wait until I get atleast 1 response before making a compliment or even mentioning about their profile

    But even that hasn't been working! I'll message a guy:

    Me: Hey there, how's it going? (letting them know obviously I'm interested)
    Them: good, and you?
    Me: Pretty good just got back from the gym/work/etc. So I see you favorite thing to do is..., where do you usually like going?
    Them: end of conversation...

    It's like what the fuck? And I don't message people back if they don't respond the 1st time.

  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Jun 26, 2011 11:18 PM GMT
    Absolutely same results... I've been a member of Connexion for a couple years, and NO results. I'm the one that normally breaks the ice first, even welcoming new members. After 1 or 2 small notes... nothing. I've been really thinking hard of deleting my account. Same with A4A... Been a member of that site for even longer. But as with Connexion, I initiate, we chat a few times, then nothing...
    Sort of the same with RJ... but I have met online a couple guys I now call friends, I get some useful information and an occassional laugh from the forums, but still, actually meeting face-to-face, nothing...
    Even with the internet opening up the world to new people, the distances and expense are too great to really meet "the one"... so it is back to finding someone within a reasonable driving distance....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 11:18 PM GMT
    rightasrain saidI know andy and bill, the owners of bigmuscle, very well. They are two of the nicest and most unpretentious guys you'll ever meet. They also go out of their way to arrange 'meet and great' parties in cities around the US and Canada so that site members can meet in person. That's more than most gay sites can say they do. I've been to several of them in southern Cali... The people are nice and very approachable. I find the bigmuscle crowd, in general, to be older and more 'bearish', but i believe those traits alone diminish the online facade that most people seem to create. People do chat on connexion, but it has always been more conservative... the no nudity and strict behavior policies were born of Mormon/conservative heritage with strong ties to the Denver and salt lake city communities.

    The reality of the online world is that all the sites are for 'seeing and being seen'... take the relative superficiality of the gay world and add the anonymity of the online persona and you get a virtual S&M bar.... 'stand and model'. It is what it is. If you really expect to meet people online put yourself out there and say hello. I find that investing in online friendships is difficult due to workload and distance, so I don't expect much more than an occasional hello from people that have gone out of their way to stay in touch. I think most people meet friends and lovers in person. That's hard to do in a virtual world. So just keep it all in perspective and you won't be disappointed.


    I completely agree with what you've said about actually meeting the guys from BigMuscle. Very approachable in person, but online one might be a tad bit intimidated because a lot of them do have professional pics, look insanely good, ect. I've met a lot of really great guys on there...and by that I don't mean hooking up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2011 11:24 PM GMT
    rightasrain saidI know andy and bill, the owners of bigmuscle, very well. People do chat on connexion, but it has always been more conservative... the no nudity and strict behavior policies were born of Mormon/conservative heritage with strong ties to the Denver and salt lake city communities.

    The reality of the online world is that all the sites are for 'seeing and being seen'... take the relative superficiality of the gay world and add the anonymity of the online persona and you get a virtual S&M bar.... 'stand and model'.So just keep it all in perspective and you won't be disappointed.


    Thanks a lot for the input! I had no idea connexion was mormon-based, and in fact I never heard of it until I moved to Denver and met this really conservative guy who said he used it. And then I followed in suit. But after several months of being on there nothing good has come from it.

    I think your idea of the online world is def. true. I mean, for the amount of people on there who I've messaged or who have messaged me and can't get around to meeting is very discouraging though.

    I still place a lot of the emphasis on Denver though. Before I moved from Miami back in 2008 I had met several cute guys, who actually hit me up. There was some I hit up as well.

    I just had better results down there. But I move here, makes me wanna just throw my computer out the damn window! I mean...at one point I was using myspace years ago in Florida and got dates all the time. I put a myspace ad up here in Denver a month or 2 ago and not a single local reply.

    I don't know if it's just that or the times have changed or what. But I remember it didn't used to be this difficult to meet someone I was attracted to from online.