How do you make friends at the gym?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2007 8:42 PM GMT
    I've always been afraid to talk to other guys at the gym cuz they might think I'm gay (if they're straight) and hitting on them - or if they're gay - just think I"m hitting on them.

    How do you other guys make chit-chat/friends/aquaintances at the gym? I can't seem to do it.
  • treader

    Posts: 238

    Feb 15, 2007 11:14 PM GMT

    I think that you just need to relax and not worry about who is gay or straight. Just say hello to people or speak up when you have the opportunity. If people see regularly at the gym, they'll feel more comfortable speaking to you. However you do have to remember that some people are there to work out and go. They might not have time to chit-chat.

    Good luck.
  • SF2PS

    Posts: 63

    Feb 16, 2007 1:35 AM GMT
    If you make eye contact, it is almost universally OK to say "hi" - the trick is to realize when to stop talking. If a guy looks away, or seems nervous let him get back to lifting. Have a little faith that you'll run into him again and then you can let him say hello first.

    Also, smile . . . it is amazing how sexy a nice smile is. Smiling at a guy is a great way to get noticed.

  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Feb 16, 2007 5:42 AM GMT
    smiling is the first step, but sometimes it's not easy to even crack that first smile! I know I get stressed out even thinking about that first smile to the guy I like at the gym *embarrassed*
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    Feb 16, 2007 8:20 AM GMT
    I think just like everyone has said here, is to say hello. All those guys started somewhere,feeling alone,before they got buffed.I found that most people have such a busy life anymore,the gym is also great meditation,and relaxation. So say hello to these sexy studs, trust me they love the attention.Suck it up,get out there and show them what your made of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2007 3:17 PM GMT
    It's a fine line I think -- between awkwardness and making a friend when it comes to the gym.

    I've made friends at the gym in different ways: like offering to alternate with someone who was waiting for me to finish my reps on a machine and starting up conversation between reps. I've worked out with this guy a few times after that.

    Or this other guy saw me struggling to change the bar on the lat-pull down machine (cos I'm short), he helped me change it. He's a tall straight b-baller and I'm a short gay runner but we're friends & hang a lot now.

    But I've had the flip side -- awkward conversation with guys who weren't genuine about why the started the convo and what they wanted out of the "friendship".

    So bottom-line is just be real.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2007 3:28 AM GMT
    Mmm this is a good topic,

    The gyms that I have gone too has been my world for making friends.

    I'm pretty much a social evangelist 2 the gym.

    First it sounds like you need to talk to someone who works @ the gym to get you edge off. Try talking to the front desk person or your trainer by saying hello.

    Places were people chat in the gym is usually in the sanna, or whirlpool. If you shy about talking to someone wait to someone starts a conversation then jump in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2007 7:29 AM GMT
    most my best friends have come from sports - cycling or fighting. but these are workouts you can't really do alone, so you build relationships with others quickly. but i've found in my gym, its tough to really get a good conversation going. i admit i'm equally unlikely to respond while i'm liftin. so it's gonna go slow.

    one thing i've learned is if you see the same guy (or guys) over and over, they see you too, and they're gonna be the ones who are most receptive to having a conversation. trying saying hey to the regulars you see first. tell 'em since you see 'em all the time you might as well introduce yourself. it's a great start. next thing you know they'll be wearing a shirt for a band you love or they'll like your tattoo and you'll be having a conversation or spotting each other or something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2007 3:51 PM GMT
    I'm not big on making friends at the gym. If I see someone from the gym somewhere else I'll say hi. Have made friends that way, but not big on being social there. Kind of like to focus.

    My gym also has things some nights where people hang after. They sponsor a lot of bike races. Also talking to people after a class works too. Common ground.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2007 8:55 PM GMT
    Nodding to someone or saying "hey" is cool if you see them routinely at the gym. It's just recognizing a form of commonality. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe now and then a few friendly words will be exchanged beyond that. But engaging people into full-blown conversations at the gym can be annoying. I personally don't like it when guys are overly gregarious at the gym. I actually left one gym because it was way too "neighborhoody" for me. Too much back slapping and gurrumping. Save it for the locker room.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2007 10:41 PM GMT
    I dont! Due to training at the gym is just that, train, train, train.

    I have found the move "friends" you meet at the gym, the longer it takes to workout, your are interupted while training and end up spotting people attempting to "ego lift" ...(lifting way to heavy and causing you to get hurt instead of them)...

    Meet them on the way in and out -- never during a workout!

    Ok, after-all I am MUSCLEPRICK (lol)
  • christomax

    Posts: 30

    Mar 23, 2007 3:35 PM GMT
    I don't. I put in my earbuds and just do my routine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2007 3:58 PM GMT
    Working out with others can be time consuming if all they want to do is talk and check out the guys. I have had 2 friends of mine mad at me due to the fact that i want to work out and not chit chat throughout the whole workout! A training partner/trainer or spotter is OK if thats all it is. But a gym is a gym and some of us really do want to workout without socializing.
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Mar 23, 2007 4:21 PM GMT
    I go to the gym to work out, not for the social scene. I am usually on a very tight schedule and I just want to get in, get my work done and leave.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 13, 2007 3:39 AM GMT
    I have two things to say about this...
    First is I don't think the gym is a place to be making friends and basically coffee-clatchin' in the middle of the gym
    ...you wanna talk to your friends? .. don't do it guys on the cable machine...jeez

    (really gripin' ain't I?)

    The second is a little observation about making "gay" friends...I find it tough making friends with gay men
    I have friends but alot of them are str8 or women ... my gay friends are all basically friends of friends (which are friends of basically my Ex's)
    whenever I say hello to a guy they always go right for the sex thing
    because of this I find myself not engaging in too many conversations

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2007 3:27 AM GMT
    My gym has a predominantly gay clientale [95%] so the question of gay/str issues does not arise.

    It has almost been ok to say hello or smile at someone when they are between their sets.

    There is a lounge area with couches and cocktail tables at my gym and those areas are deemed more appropriate for a conversation.

    I have made several friends at the gym. It is indeed a network and we together support a variety of causes/activities in our community.

    As long as one tries to make friends without sexual intent its almost always ok.

    My gym like any other, has its share of snob couples who love to snicker at others working around. It is so damn obvious what they are talking about....and the amount of grunting while lifting weights [unbelievable!]
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Sep 12, 2010 10:35 PM GMT
    people prob think im a wanker bc i put my earphones on and thats me in a different planet working in my routine!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2010 10:38 PM GMT
    owen19832006 saidpeople prob think im a wanker bc i put my earphones on and thats me in a different planet working in my routine!


    A lot of times I'm the same way. Even if I'm at the gym with a buddy, I usually end up tuning them out. I'm there to workout and get out, it's not social time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    owen19832006 saidpeople prob think im a wanker bc i put my earphones on and thats me in a different planet working in my routine!


    same here, it's me, the iron plates and my ipod.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2010 10:47 PM GMT
    I make friends anywhere by being active.
    I'm not the type to just wait around and hope someone will approach me.
    Sometimes "inviting"myself into a conversation isn't a good thing but sometimes it is. Giving a little unwanted but helpful advise is nice or just sparking a random conversation works too.

    If you really wanna make friends then the first step to doing so would be by you feeling and being confident and secure with yourself.
  • MarkMinelli

    Posts: 45

    Jun 12, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    jmarkel74 saidI've always been afraid to talk to other guys at the gym cuz they might think I'm gay (if they're straight) and hitting on them - or if they're gay - just think I"m hitting on them.

    How do you other guys make chit-chat/friends/aquaintances at the gym? I can't seem to do it.


    Hi.. in London is impossible. People are just interested in your penis in the Sauna... I am very disappointed!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2011 9:59 PM GMT
    A BJ in the steam room and you have a friend for life.
    (just a joke)
  • MarkMinelli

    Posts: 45

    Jun 12, 2011 10:09 PM GMT
    Well, catching guys doing sex stuff in the steam is not so rare... Virgin clubs are bordels
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2011 10:14 PM GMT
    Folks above me, always remember:

    a2917dd4e57c57d30728e579aa60cf31.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2011 10:17 PM GMT
    MarkMinelli said
    jmarkel74 saidI've always been afraid to talk to other guys at the gym cuz they might think I'm gay (if they're straight) and hitting on them - or if they're gay - just think I"m hitting on them.

    How do you other guys make chit-chat/friends/aquaintances at the gym? I can't seem to do it.


    Hi.. in London is impossible. People are just interested in your penis in the Sauna... I am very disappointed!



    And apparently so are they!