hiya, am so sorry to hear about your Dad.... cuz Its not an easy thing to deal with at all. You are not alone, i went through the same emotions when my father died of cancer of the liver 15 years ago. He was diagnosed with diverticulosis and 6 weeks later he died. After the post-mortem they found out he had severe liver cancer , the sad thing about all this is that he didnt drink or smoke , and was an able fit and strong man. He was 62 when he died , and my father , myself, and my brother were inseperable . It was such a shock and the grief will never leave me... After he died , i went through the emotions of being alone and vunerable and very angry (even though i was still surrounded by family and friends, i couldnt help feeling alone) .I felt like being a small boy and i truly sobbed my heart out and i had a broken heart for 2-3 years. The only way i could cope was to re-live all the things that my father would of wanted me to do in my life, so i picked myself up and dusted myself off, as it were, and decided to live the rest of my life with absolute pride and love for my father, so as to not let him have died in vain. I couldnt talk to anyone else about the way i truly felt for the fear of everyone else thinking that i was either mad or just a depressive, i was not any of those as i had happiness and a sane sense of life-force within my own spirit. Every time i had done something either good or bad , i just remembered my father smiling at me and him saying to me that was a good move or a poor one, even though he was not not here to actually do that. I wanted to turn to drink or do something that would bring me out of the reality, but all in all i had to face up to it , i had to be strong and i had to just learn to live with it, so i didnt become down and miserable and sorry , i became mega-determined and forcefully strong , because i know in my heart of hearts , thats how my father would of wanted me to become..... you know basically just keep your head up. make every single minute count. take as much time as you need to tell your dad how much you love him.... btw try be kind to yourself too, as you are dealing with a very stressful situation. My thoughts are with you.