Any spiritual awakenings or experiences you would like to share?

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    Jun 28, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    Many years ago in the late 1970's due to my own improvidence and foolishness, I found myself completely broke and unemployed. I was holed up in a tiny garage apartment on a beach in Florida. I was what is known as a rounder in those days and my life had been consumed with nothing but party, sex, party, drugs, party, alcohol and any other self-destructive vice one could imagine. In those days, I considered myself an atheist, eventhough I was brought up a Christian. "I would ask myself, why would God inflict the homosexual curse on anyone?" I hated myself and cared little for anyone else except for what I could get out of them. I was what is known as a "piece of work."

    I had no food in my tiny hovel, so I said to myself, "I don't want to do this anymore. I'll just stay here and starve." After 5 days without eating and just drinking tap water, I was starting to feel weak. I really didn't give a shit anymore. I call this a spiritual awakening. It was early evening and I felt a calm soothing feeling come over me. I was as if nothing could harm me, hurt me anymore. My prejudices against blacks, hispanics and Jews vanished and I felt a deep sense of love for those people. I wanted to just love the whole planet and I knew that this awakening or experience came from God. I loved God and remembered my time as a little boy when standing and singing in the church. I knew that my life would change and be better and it did. Someone that I knew came over that night and took me out to eat and he was horrified that I had gone so long without food.

    This was the beginning of my spiritual life. It has been a slow process, but I never regret having come back to God, because I know He never forgot me. My life has certainly not been easy since then, but now that I'm older I'm happy and content with my relationship with God and Christ.

    Does anyone have an experience they would like to share?
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    Jun 28, 2011 3:01 AM GMT
    Yeah, Ive had one of those.... it was actually purely by accident.... I had just come out of a long bout of daily smoking weed and stuff, which is what most teenagers do in the islands... we go and hang out and play cards and dominoes and drink and smoke weed, it doesnt have a bad stigma among the locals, so its not a big deal.... but I was also going through what the Amish call "rumspringa" which is the adolescent phase of trying out all kinds of vices... so I was going out almost every night, and every saturday I would actually take harddrugs as well...

    Tired of that life, and feeling unhealthy, I decided to do the complete opposite, I started eating healthy foods, quit smoking, alcohol, coffee, everything!!! And started exercising daily for a few hours....

    Now at that time, having quit smoking, I started having asthma again (asthma gets suppressed by smoking and coffee) and so i had to go back onto inhalers.... which I didnt like, so when I entered a book store one day and I saw this little booklet that said "controlling asthma through breathing exercises" or something like that from a Russian doctor, I enthusiastically bought it and started practicing it....

    What the Russian doctor had experimented with, was checking blood O2 and CO2 levels n response to breathing exercises.. he had found that breathing very fast, which we do when on an adrenaline rush or panicking, would increase blood O2 levels which would actually lead to the lungs constricting in order to reduce O2 levels (oxygen is a poison at high levels) which would then cause the person an asthma attack.... Breathing slowly and methodically lowered blood O2 and would relieve the symptoms


    Now I did that, and it worked... and I noticed that alot of other things improved as well, for instance, my allergies were less, my skin was less dry, and my hands and feet were less cold... And it even relaxed me to the point where I could fall asleep quickly and easily.... Very enthusiastic about these results, I began doing the breathing exercises all day.... after I woke up, at work, on the bus, watching tv, at home, before sleeping.... so much so that at some point I was in a continous breathing exercise from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep

    So after a few days of living in this persistent concentration and focus on my breathing, something strange happened... all of a sudden it felt like I had some kind of "epiphany"... some kind of attack of "Zen" where I felt entirely at peace with myself, with the world, and where I completely stopped judging things or people... everyone was the same, everyone was equal, and so was everything, and I was a perfect part of this whole perfect and smoothly functioning cosmos.... and it didnt happen while I was in a dark room chanting, it happened while I was walking down the street.. it really felt like some kind of religiuos revelation where people describe things such as "enlightenment" or "unifying with god"

    Since than Ive been able to enter into Zen pretty much at will.... can even hypnotise myself with the greatest of ease... in that state I can drop all thinking and judgement, and feel as if nothing is necessary.... I dont enter into it all the time anymore, I find its not always useful, as being so quiet makes it impossible to get any mental work done (for instance, I cant do it when Im studying and in school, so i could never do it if diagnosing a patient's disease)... however, I can use it when Im exercising, or practicing an instrument, because it allows me to zone in completely on what Im doing, and being fully in that moment....

    In fact, t can really annoy me when somebody comes in and pulls me out of that moment of peaceful meditation... like when Im hiking on a hill, and someone starts talking, it completely takes you out of the focus on the beauty of the nature trail.... Or when someone phones me when Im practicing a song, it ll YANK me out of the zone and Ill want to throw my chair at it lol.... but i dont need to be doing anything to be in the zone... it can literally be anywhere, on the bus, on the street, in my chair in front of the computer... adn then for that moment Ill relax and Ill feel my body cramps go away, and the worries just disappear...
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    Jun 28, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    Wow, this is not a popular thread eh?
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    Jun 29, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    Greenhopper saidWow, this is not a popular thread eh?


    I don't know why, I've been busy reading and enjoying it.


    -Doug
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    Jun 29, 2011 11:08 AM GMT
    I'm thinking that a spiritual experience is maybe a little too personal for most people to share on RJ.
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    Jun 29, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    vincent7 saidI'm thinking that a spiritual experience is maybe a little too personal for most people to share on RJ.



    lol, OK then, I'll bite. I have a habit of writing such experiences into stories to convey to others how it feels. Like so:

    from A Ribbon of Beauty

    " The afternoon stood still, trees poised, as though ready to resume whatever they had been doing before the sun tilted its face at them from the northwest. The field was an open one; the couple standing on its slope, looking past Faerie before them, their hands in a comfortable clasp, were able to see a vast panoramic view outwards and downwards. In the far horizon, clouds scudded along above the peaks of a mountain range. Below those, great green sweeps of prairie spread themselves out, drowsing in the heat. The passing clouds lent drifting shadow spots across it, travelling in a slow, smooth procession. Closer, a river snaked its way through clumpings of trees and over a small falls. The sky was an intense blue over their heads.
    It took a while to consider it all, as everything they saw seemed to be talking to them. Frank felt an invigoration, a happiness pervading all of him."


    ...and this part, which I'm far too prone to posting on this site, lol!

    "Janice felt her whole self give a great throb of terror and then, amazingly, a nostalgic sense of recognition, then a strange happiness that was plainly senseless. Her sensation of recognition bloomed into realization as she knew, without doubt, that God existed, and more, was in her and around her, like the atoms she was made of but even finer than that. Invisible, gossamer, yet as easy to see as her own hand, the Maker was present. "


    -Doug



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    Jun 29, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1332325
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    Jun 29, 2011 7:42 PM GMT
    Very sweet and uplifting, Doug. May you continue to experience God's love around and within you, the seen and the unseen, the omnipresent life-force.
    Peace be with you!
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    Jun 29, 2011 8:06 PM GMT
    I'm always interested to hear about other's spiritual experiences. It was a Google search of "gay spirituality" that originally led me to RJ many months ago.

    It seems like a lot of people (including me) come to their moment of awakening only after hitting bottom. During the lowest point of their lives, when it seems like nothing can get worse (or better), a single thought triggers a huge opening in mind and spirit.

    Each of us may interpret the experience in whatever way makes sense to us, that allows us to put it inti some kind of context. For some, it's a connection with God and Christ. Others may equate it with eastern teachings. I understand some even experience it as contact with aliens.

    What I find fascinating is the commonalities. Though the experience is too "big" to even be described by words, the descriptions are all amazingly similar. All fears and worries instantly disappear; a feeling of massive connection and one-ness; an overwhelming sense of understanding; bliss.

    I'm often amused, and sometimes frustrated, with some of the threads I read here about the existence of God, etc. By and large I stay out of them. There's no way to "prove" to anyone that God exists. But there's no reason to, either. It is a singular experience that needs no justification, explanation or even confirmation from others.

    When you know... you know.
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    Jun 29, 2011 10:37 PM GMT
    vincent7 saidVery sweet and uplifting, Doug. May you continue to experience God's love around and within you, the seen and the unseen, the omnipresent life-force.
    Peace be with you!


    *likes this post*
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    Jun 29, 2011 10:47 PM GMT
    Squarepeg saidI'm always interested to hear about other's spiritual experiences. It was a Google search of "gay spirituality" that originally led me to RJ many months ago.

    It seems like a lot of people (including me) come to their moment of awakening only after hitting bottom. During the lowest point of their lives, when it seems like nothing can get worse (or better), a single thought triggers a huge opening in mind and spirit.

    Each of us may interpret the experience in whatever way makes sense to us, that allows us to put it inti some kind of context. For some, it's a connection with God and Christ. Others may equate it with eastern teachings. I understand some even experience it as contact with aliens.

    What I find fascinating is the commonalities. Though the experience is too "big" to even be described by words, the descriptions are all amazingly similar. All fears and worries instantly disappear; a feeling of massive connection and one-ness; an overwhelming sense of understanding; bliss.

    I'm often amused, and sometimes frustrated, with some of the threads I read here about the existence of God, etc. By and large I stay out of them. There's no way to "prove" to anyone that God exists. But there's no reason to, either. It is a singular experience that needs no justification, explanation or even confirmation from others.

    When you know... you know.


    Amen to this, bruva icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 29, 2011 11:23 PM GMT
    Yes, indeed, Squarepeg, " when you know ... you know." Liked your post.
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    Jun 30, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    vincent7 saidVery sweet and uplifting, Doug. May you continue to experience God's love around and within you, the seen and the unseen, the omnipresent life-force.
    Peace be with you!



    lol, I'm only trying to open a window, as it were, or a door. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
  • joedocker

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    Jun 30, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    Thanks to all of you for this chain. I watched a younger friend stand strong and serve another as an angel, a messenger, last night and it got me up today reading, meditating, and looking to renew my spiritual connections. I'm surprised I decided to look on real jock, but now I see why.

    I will watch for more posts eagerly.

    There are no coincidences.

    Best to all of you,
    Joe

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    Jun 30, 2011 7:02 PM GMT
    Joedocker, very happy to see your renewed commitment to the source of love and life in the universe. Hope to hear more from you.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 01, 2011 3:15 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI'v
    By the third day I saw some energies in my space literally dislodge from me. They were entities that were not me or of my makeup. They were hitching a free ride from me and feeding off of me.



    I had something similar once, I had spent an evening at my friends house in Paris, who reported a very uncomfortable, cold, and dreadful feeling in one of the rooms, causing him insomnia, and preventing him from sleeping in his bedroom.... His girlfriend, who was also very sensitive, also said that she always felt something in that room giving it a sense of dread and terror.... i went in and I perceived an entity in the corner of the room, very dark and cold, I sensed he had died of grief, of specifically grief associated with a broken heart, lovesickness.... Paris is full of these entities everywhere, more so than most cities I have been to, thanks to the age of the city, and all the loneliness associated with big city lifestyle...

    I asked him (the entity) to leave the room, and sent him some feelings of consolance.... The day after, the owner of the room reported that his sleeping in the room had improved.. I however, felt horrible for the next two weeks... I was listless, and felt like life had no purpose and wanted to end it.... I had no idea why that had happened, since there was no reason for me to feel that way.... After two weeks, I was sitting in the metro and remembered that entity in my friend's room.... he all of a sudden appeared next to me in the metro and I realised he had followed me for the past two weeks, giving me that sense of dread and hopelessness...

    I helped him move on (some might say, I performed a sending) so he could pass to the other side, and the dreadful feelings disappeared then....

    These kinds of things happened alot though, this is only one example....
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    Jul 02, 2011 10:44 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidWow, that was a great story.

    Yes, energies can latch on. The more we do not 'own' our bodies and maintain our boundaries the more we give them permission to get into our space. Everybody has them, but some affect us to a greater degree than others.

    It's curious that you mentioned entities in Paris. I was there but prior to going I saw images of Paris during my meditation for about two years prior to going. I now think that having been there had an adverse affect on my energy. I didn't like being there but was coaxed to go by a supposed 'friend.' After I made the trip I never saw images of Paris again during my meditation.

    Growing up in my home as a child I used to see images of a perverse man who appeared to be a pedophile (by the way he was salivating over me - as a six year old boy). He fucked with my energy and now psychic people who read my energy can see sexual abuse in my past. No family member did this to me. It was the effect that this person (who lived in our home and died) had on my energy. I later kicked him out during my twenties when came back to live at home for awhile. I forced him out and he (along with another male - perhaps his cohort in crime) scurried away like roaches frantically searching for cover.


    Oof, yeah, I was once molested mentally by someone in quite a disturbing manner... it really did show up in my aura... looks like octopus tentacles really.. and it makes you feel slimy and dirty... I have friends who were molested physically as well, or raped, and they all report similar feelings... of often wanting to just shower for hours to try and get the slimy icky gross feelings of tentacles off of you... sexual abuse is really nasty, and it can make you prefer to be killed than to be abused ...
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    Jul 02, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidPoor Vincent. This thread is taking a different direction that what he probably had hoped for. icon_cool.gif


    Spiritual is spiritual.
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    Jul 03, 2011 1:40 AM GMT
    vincent7 said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidPoor Vincent. This thread is taking a different direction that what he probably had hoped for. icon_cool.gif


    Spiritual is spiritual.



    It is, indeed. I'm very much enjoying this topic and the variations in it. It just proves, I think, that existence is greater than we know.