Tips on topping?

  • greatman05

    Posts: 1

    Jun 29, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Hello. I'm currently having an issue with sex. My boyfriend is a bottom, and we've had sex several times. However, he says that it has been painful for a majority of those times. I'm at my wits end with this problem, as I've never had a complaint before [I'm not trying to be arrogant here icon_sad.gif ]. What can I do to increase the pleasure for him? I know it has something to do with the prostrate, but I've always had trouble finding it.
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    Jun 29, 2011 8:10 AM GMT
    Totally depends on the kind of pain he's experiencing.

    Are you using enough lube? Are you going slowly? Are you trying different positions?

    P.s. it's prostate not prostrate.

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    Jul 02, 2011 6:35 PM GMT

    What KIND of lube are you using? Some people react badly to certain types of lube. And by some I mean lots more than a sliver of the population.

    If you're using silicone lube, it should be no problem. But water-based lubes have irritants in them that sensitive skinned people (like me) find very painful. Ask him if it hurts just to put lube inside his ass, if it feels kind of burn-y. It should hurt more at the first application of lube to the inner skin and gradually subside.

    Some ingredients to beware of:
    -anything with "paraben" in it
    -DMDM Hydantoin

    Also, stay away from lubes that say "tingling" or "Warming".

    Of course, it could be another problem besides lube, but I'll leave that to the others.
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    Jul 02, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    this may sound dumb but... maybe you're going to far in?
    some guys don't know when you go from prostate to kidney...
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    Jul 02, 2011 6:59 PM GMT
    Make sure he's relaxed (everywhere!), and let him choose the speed. This post is going to come back to haunt me when I get my Nobel prize but you should try laying down and letting him sit on your penis so he can control the speed and loosen up.

    Once his anxiety goes down and he relaxes it should be fine. If he keeps anticipating it to be painful it just gets worse until he can't do it anymore.

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    Jul 02, 2011 7:48 PM GMT
    eagleboy99 saidthis may sound dumb but... maybe you're going to far in?
    some guys don't know when you go from prostate to kidney...


    The kidney bone's connected to the bladder bone...
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    Jul 02, 2011 8:49 PM GMT
    check out if he has any anal tears, that is, small rips in the skin. They can be on the inside as well as the outside. I don't know any solution but to wait for them to heal, which they will do.
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    Jul 02, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    Like others said make sure he doesn't have any medical issues and find a suitable lubricate.

    Trust and technique. Once your partner trusts you he will relax and feel no pain. Your technique should be about how well you stay focused on him.........When you do that, he will focus on you doing your thing...... then you know your're going to have a good fuck.
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    Jul 02, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    SkinnyBitch said
    eagleboy99 saidthis may sound dumb but... maybe you're going to far in?
    some guys don't know when you go from prostate to kidney...


    The kidney bone's connected to the bladder bone...


    haha just saying