Awkwardness talking to hot guys

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2011 8:54 AM GMT
    Even after I get introduced. Or even online. I psych myself out thinking I'm gonna fuck up and I end up being totally boring, not particularly socially disgraceful, just lacking personality. Who else suffers this?
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    Jun 29, 2011 8:59 AM GMT
    I think feeling or acting awkward in the presence of hotness is a very common thing!

    Just remember, your awkwardness is a barrier to some hot, sweaty, jizz-soaked man-sex. So try and get over it!

    The only way to get over it is to just practice talking to as many guys as possible, in my opinion. There's plenty of opportunities for that on here, so go nuts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2011 10:51 AM GMT
    I understand the whole awkward, socially disgraceful part - but the key is just to play up that awkwardness as a joke on yourself.

    My friend once gave me some good advice: just talk to the person as if they're an old friend of yours. Be relaxed, friendly and don't worry about their reaction since the "old friend" would not worry about those things. When I'm like this I find I come off pretty cool and usually the other person then becomes hilariously nervous and awkward because they're not used to having the other guy so relaxed.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jun 29, 2011 11:32 AM GMT
    Only when stone cold sober. If I'm a couple drinks in at a bar, there's a moment where I can match a hottie's suaveness. It's very short-lived, followed by slurring and tripping over my own feet.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 29, 2011 11:44 AM GMT
    Fear.. I find this amazing, I can't imagine you would be either boring or have any reason to "freeze up" when meeting a guy.... if anything I would assume you'd be too assertive ... lol

    No, I neither have any issues in the "social grace" department when meeting new people. Of course I'm not meeting them for a date, I have a bf, but even if I were single I don't have those sorts of problems. I'm an assertive person, I know what I want when I meet someone even as a friend and that's to be real.
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    Jun 29, 2011 11:45 AM GMT
    Yeah I used to, but that is one of the things I found has changed with age (or maybe it is because I am not on the market).

    Good news is some guys might find your awkwardness endearing and want to take you home and "cuddle". icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 29, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    I feel I have more of a problem approaching and starting conversations with cute guys. Once I break the ice, I use my natural charm and typically find out that they aren't all that interesting anyway lol.

    But yeah confidence in social situations seems to develop later in life. After about my sophomore year in college (age 19-20) each year I would get better in social situations. And still am each year. I think we have a bit of our old high school awkwardness left well into our mid 20s
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    Jun 29, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    Confidence is sexy!
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    Jun 29, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    We all go through this. Whenever I am with a super hot guy, I feel awkward. but the poster above is correct... the sexiest thing a man can have is confidence. You have to be a honey badger about it and just not give a shit. Be yourself and what happens, let it happen.
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    Jun 29, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    I used to get nervous around ripped guys till I started working with them on a regular basis. Once I got comfortable, I started getting fitness and nutrition tips, and most of them gave me great motivation. Now I've applied their advice and gotten very close to their physique, and notice some other guys get nervous around me...kind of a funny twist on things. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    Poor self-confidence stopped me from having the kind of 20's that I should have had.

    This continued into my 30's and led to substance abuse and depression.

    Don't let this happen to you.

    The most honest word is "Hello"

    Use it with everyone you meet. Even if you don't want to fuck them. Maybe it's the only word they will hear from another human being today.
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    Jun 29, 2011 1:49 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidEven after I get introduced. Or even online. I psych myself out thinking I'm gonna fuck up and I end up being totally boring, not particularly socially disgraceful, just lacking personality. Who else suffers this?

    Have you ever IMed me or read my posts?


    I rest my case.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jun 29, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidEven after I get introduced. Or even online. I psych myself out thinking I'm gonna fuck up and I end up being totally boring, not particularly socially disgraceful, just lacking personality. Who else suffers this?

    Dude...just be yourself...if you're shy...state it...if you're nervous...say it up front....trust me you have qualities that are uniquely you.....BE YOU....Much Success....BUD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    Smile and say, hey girl haaaaaay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    IAmDestr0n saidSmile and say, hey girl haaaaaay


    This.

    +10. you can't go wrong with an opener like that ;)
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jun 29, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    I assume you're referring to gays. I have no problem talking to hot straight guys, but from my experiences hot gays are standoffish, leading me to feel awkward trying to talk to them.
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    Jun 29, 2011 2:37 PM GMT
    Just talk to them. Be yourself. They are people as well. They also have flaws and insecurities just like the everybody else. What's the worst thing that can happen? He says you're not his type? Even if that's the case, there will be other hot guys who find you attractive. I mean, FTF you're a physically attractive guy so I don't see what the problem is.

    Get out more often and connect with people in the real world though. It helps icon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gif
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    Jun 29, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    Lol, same happens to me from time to time. Sometimes i try to hard maybe because of the pressure of it. Plus i'm thinking "what the hell are you doing? this guy is so out of your league!" My face turns more red naturally giving off the wrong impression lol.

    Well like many people said above, just be yourself and don't assume preconceived notions of the other guy. Hard to do sometimes icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    Hot guys, the good ones, probably feel just as awkward, especially if they find you attractive. All you have to do is be yourself. If that doesn't fly with them then you are better off, until someone who gets you comes along.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 29, 2011 3:00 PM GMT
    just imagine one of them is trying to cruise you... i'm sure the words will come icon_wink.gif

    but seriously, i find being an atmosphere where you're naturally talkative helps. like if i meet a guy at a football game, i can just talk about the game. having something you're interested lets you deflect some of the pressure.
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    Jun 29, 2011 3:03 PM GMT
    I get the same way. I don't get shy or anything. I just put a filter on between my brain and my mouth so that I don't say anything ridiculous. I usually get tired of censoring myself and go "fuck it i am going to say whatever the hell I want".
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    Jun 29, 2011 3:40 PM GMT
    cold said50276_5549653990_5053721_n.jpg
    Sometimes, when I get nervous, I put my fingers under my arms, and then smell them like this. On a serious note, god yes - I become very quiet and very sweaty.



    hahahaha. Love.
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    Jun 29, 2011 3:50 PM GMT
    On second thought:

    Maybe you can insult them and then neglect them. That'll get his attention because he's not used to it. Usually people are extra nice to them because they're good looking. Do exactly the opposite. But I have to tell you, this tactic is only good if you wanna sleep with them for like one night, which I know the OP doesn't do.

    Disclaimer: I don't personally do it because I don't do one night stands on regular basis. One of my friend told me this trick of getting hot guys into your bed. Sorry I blurted it out here. But I thought I share with my beloved fellow RJ members icon_biggrin.gif
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Jun 29, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    cityaznguy saidOn second thought:

    Maybe you can insult them and then neglect them. That'll get his attention because he's not used to it. Usually people are extra nice to them because they're good looking. Do exactly the opposite. But I have to tell you, this tactic is only good if you wanna sleep with them for like one night, which I know the OP doesn't do.

    Disclaimer: I don't personally do it because I don't do one night stands on regular basis. One of my friend told me this trick of getting hot guys into your bed. Sorry I blurted it out here. But I thought I share with my beloved fellow RJ members icon_biggrin.gif


    Now every1 will treat the hotties bad!!
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    Jun 29, 2011 4:14 PM GMT
    calibro saidjust imagine one of them is trying to cruise you... i'm sure the words will come icon_wink.gif



    lol, OK I laughed out loud at that.

    -Doug

    I think the answer may be to stop focusing on their 'hotness'.

    How are you around guys you don't think are hot?