First boyfriend. What's going on with me??

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    Jun 29, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    I've been seeing this guy for about a month now, and i think about him 24/7 i can't eat much and i'm not getting much sleep. I've got all kinds of crazy thoughts going through my head (like really stupid stuff) i'm constantly thinking about weather he likes me as much as i like him and things like that. It's driving me mad an i can't concentrate. I keep thinking maybe i should break it off as i hate feeling like this, one minute i'm happy next i'm sad/frustrated. What's going on man? :S I don't even know why i like him so much. I've only ever felt this way about one other person, she was my first love an that ended in me having my heart broke icon_sad.gif I've never really gotten close to someone since then and always hurt them before they hurt me. Have you guys got any advise?
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    Jun 29, 2011 4:10 PM GMT
    Hey there, congratulations on your first boyfriend!

    I'd say that what you're feeling is pretty normal at the beginning of a relationship, especially a first relationship. I myself have felt the same way about both of the relationships that I've been in. Infatuation, not being able to really eat, being too excited and worried and having all different feelings going through your head. Hell, I still get like that sometimes in my current relationship and I've been seeing the guy for 9 months!

    Don't break it off, just see where things go. The best thing is to be yourself. This is something that I still struggle with, to be myself, because often I want to impress the guy to show him that I'm cool and not all insecure and stuff.

    Try to get your mind occupied on other things. Exercise, socialize with friends, try to eat at least a little for each meal. Remember that the budding relationship is a new part of your life, but it's not your entire life. Do you journal? I find that journaling helps too.
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    Jun 29, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    Sounds like you're in the honeymoon period where everything is rosey and fun and you can't get the person outta your mind no matter how hard you try.

    This is normal and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Sometimes, especially after any heartbreak, we build-up our walls to protect us from ever experiencing that type of pain. It seems like this guy your seeing now has broken down all of your defenses leaving you exposed and also has you exposed to yourself. You like this guy and it's a good feeling to have. Usually, we limit ourselves to what we can feel (we are always allowed to be angry though) so, with your "hubby" you should open yourself up to these thoughts and emotions that you have for him.

    Past in present is a hard thing to shake but, in time, you'll get used to it. icon_wink.gif
    It's encouraging to hear how crazy you are over this dude. Congrats man.
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    Jun 29, 2011 4:37 PM GMT


    " I keep thinking maybe i should break it off as i hate feeling like this, one minute i'm happy next i'm sad/frustrated. "

    I have a feeling you'll feel a lot worse if you do that.

    Do you really think that rejecting him will somehow make all these feelings vanish?

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    Jun 29, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    Lol this is sweet.

    I have never been in a relationship so take or leave my advice, but I think u should stay with him. You are probably just feeling so emotional from your love that u r succeptable to any emotion. Remember you won't feel the highs if you dont have lows. So take the good with the bad and try to relax.
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    Jun 29, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    WhatsMyName saidI've been seeing this guy for about a month now, and i think about him 24/7 i can't eat much and i'm not getting much sleep. I've got all kinds of crazy thoughts going through my head (like really stupid stuff) i'm constantly thinking about weather he likes me as much as i like him and things like that. It's driving me mad an i can't concentrate. I keep thinking maybe i should break it off as i hate feeling like this, one minute i'm happy next i'm sad/frustrated. What's going on man? :S I don't even know why i like him so much. I've only ever felt this way about one other person, she was my first love an that ended in me having my heart broke icon_sad.gif I've never really gotten close to someone since then and always hurt them before they hurt me. Have you guys got any advise?


    Awww.... this is love. Just go with it.
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    Jun 29, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    I am going to quote the Beatles for u:

    It's only love and that is all
    Why do I feel the way i do
    It's only love and that is all
    But its so hard, loving you, loving yoooooouuuu
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    Jun 29, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    wolverinecub86 saidI am going to quote the Beatles for u:

    It's only love and that is all
    Why do I feel the way i do
    It's only love and that is all
    But its so hard, loving you, loving yoooooouuuu


    He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah
    He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah
    He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah icon_lol.gif

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    Jun 29, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    Yeah this is normal man.. it means you're in love with the guy, thats all... enjoy it...
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    Jun 29, 2011 5:43 PM GMT
    If you take the approach "if it's meant to be, it's going to happen," you will feel much better. I've always been super chill about blooming relationships--almost lackadaisical and matter-of-fact really--and that approach has been 100% successful for me. Try it.
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    Jun 29, 2011 6:12 PM GMT
    Everyone has gone through this before and will do it multiple times. It's normal for the early stages of a relationship, just enjoy it cus when it's gone, you'll miss it, trust me.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 29, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    half the people in this thread don't have faces... i think that's a problem
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    Jun 29, 2011 6:17 PM GMT
    how cute
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    Jun 29, 2011 6:43 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidhow cute


    lol S
  • tautomer

    Posts: 1010

    Jun 29, 2011 6:49 PM GMT
    Sounds like Limerence to me. Which can be rather painful. Only thing that will smack you out of it is to open up to him a lot more in person, and actually release your emotions (just don't scare him off, lol).
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    Jun 29, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    tautomer4314 saidSounds like Limerence to me. Which can be rather painful. Only thing that will smack you out of it is to open up to him a lot more in person, and actually release your emotions (just don't scare him off, lol).

    Yeah, this does sound like attachment formation at work. Which affects straight men as well as gay -- it's just love. Let's hope for the OP it has a happy conclusion as it runs its natural course.
  • postyork

    Posts: 127

    Jun 29, 2011 11:34 PM GMT
    I try to apply the idea that I should only worry about feelings I have that last beyond a few days - ie, try not to get so upset/excited about things hour to hour, day to day, but see what is lasting. It usually works out well for me.
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    Jun 29, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    Now hold on, don't go telling this guy he is in love. He is infatuated, and there is a big difference. It's fun, you should go for it, just don't get carried away right away. And as far as love goes, that's a word everybody defines for themselves, you can't read a paragraph and tell this guy he loves somebody...