Cant get over him!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    haha anyways i met this dude online, and we really hit it off, we both were nerdy and he was fucking hilarious and cute too. anyways he got pissed that i still had an online account to a dating website, but we weren't going out so i saw no problem. anyways he got pissed and stopped talking to me, and ignored me completely, like we're talking blocked me from facebook and all this other shit. anyways he sometimes unblocks me from these sites and i cant help but talk to him and he still doesnt respond, how can i get over him!? its been almost a year since we were in good terms with each other!
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    Jun 30, 2011 7:32 AM GMT
    It sounds like he really wasn't that great, that level of insecurity when you are not even dating is pretty bad imo

    You deserve better. Have you tried to date other people since?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jun 30, 2011 7:49 AM GMT
    you're 18 nuff said.icon_idea.gif
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    Jun 30, 2011 12:09 PM GMT
    Age has less to do with it and being human has everything to do with it. True, usually at a younger age, because of insecurities, but it could happen to anyone, especially if you find someone you click so well with. That is so rare and something we all want in a potential date, or even friendship. It could happen to anyone, regardless of age. However, I have noticed that as I get older, experience teaches me how to respond and deal with such actions in a more assertive manner. But that come with time as you date more people. That's why I agree with Adam228. The quickest and easiest way to get over someone is to get back out there and meet other people. I wouldn't put so much emphasis on relationships or serious.dating right now. Trust me you will have plenty of time in your 30's and older for that. Just date casually, make new new friends, meet new people, make new social connections. Those new connections will teach you how to deal with tough situations like, "I can't get over him". Trust me, my friend. There are so many people out there to meet, so many things to do, learn, and see, and experience. That's where your energy should be. And the social connections you make now could turn into something more serious later. You never know what the future holds for you. Keep it open, bud.
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    Jun 30, 2011 12:34 PM GMT
    Actually really glad i saw this post. I just got really upset the other night about someone else. We also met online and seemed to hit it off from the beginning. I thought he was cute, he thought I was cute; we had similar interests; neither of us wanted some quick hookup; and were from the same area and both went to school in New England. I was studying abroad when we met online and was so excited to meet up when we were in MA. Before I came back home, we would chat everyday, Skype, etc. We hung out once and it went great and he seemed down to hang out again. Gradually it got harder and harder to get in touch with him and I got the vibe like he was losing interest. He said he was dealing with personal stuff, but now I'm wondering if he was just not interested anymore. It definitely hurts because I don't know why he's not interested. I don't develop feelings for people easily, so daring to have feelings this time seems like a stupid investment now. He's a really really great kid, so it just sucks.

    But anyway, as I'm trying to deal with this I will say to keep busy. Keeping busy is DEFINITELY the key. Get a job if you don't have one (good way to meet people), start a workout routine, hang out with friends you don't have a romantic attraction towards, etc. I realize when I'm alone and bored is when I feel the most depressed about it. Don't keep messaging him constantly.. send one final message saying how you feel, how you didn't think he would take you being part of another dating site, and that you'll leave it up to him to get in touch with you. If you keep busy, you'll feel like you're accomplishing other good things, and you'll feel better about yourself.

    Trust me, I'm by no means over it yet... I'm still trying to deal with it. Part of me hopes that I'll get a definitive answer from him soon. But I know what I can do to get over it, so I'm gonna try to follow through with that.

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    Jun 30, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    It's also helpful responding to things like this. Hahaha. Giving other people advice puts it in perspective for me when i'm in a similar situation.
  • camfer

    Posts: 891

    Jun 30, 2011 1:12 PM GMT
    I think the way to get over this is to fill your life with so much great stuff that you don't have much time or need to find connection over the internet.

    Getting hung up on a guy you've never met is mistaking online chat with genuine human interaction. It's ultimately not satisfying. It's this giant masquerade ball that eventually ends, the lights go up, and everyone returns to their real lives.

    Step away from the computer. Go live life directly rather than through this stupid little screen. If you meet someone online and can't move it to reality within a few weeks, don't put any emotional investment into it.

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    Jul 01, 2011 5:29 AM GMT
    omg haha bostonboy i totally understand what you mean!!! and he was 10 years older than me lol, weird thing he just texted me today and im not sure whether i can restrain myself from texting back! lol, im not out though, and its soo hard for me to meet guys because of that!
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    Jul 02, 2011 9:29 PM GMT
    It is extremly hard to forget about someone you felt was right... but if you and him are not on the same page or the same level, it would be better if you both part your own ways. I've dealt with it and I'm pretty sure mostly everyone has dealt with it...but just like the bostonboy said: "keep yourself busy". Do other stuff that makes you happy and eventually when you're happy you will attract happiness to you and a guy too lol. Just give it time. Oh and txt him but don't keep ur head in the mind set of him trying to come back to you. think of it of another chance for him to attract you. Let him show you how he feels about you and then let things happen.