Jun 30, 2011 1:29 PM GMT
Hi, I was looking for some advice for a young gay guy just starting to really step out of the closet and spread his wings.
First of all some background info. In college I was out to my friends, but had no gay friends and only went to a gay club once while there. After school I ended up moving Home and was living with my parents because I couldn't find work. So I got forced back in the closet.
Anyway now I have a job and am moving out. I plan to tell my parents that I'm gay soon after I move. And last weekend I told the first person in over a year that I'm gay. I told my sister and that went well, then I went to nyc for pride weekend.
Although I had fun.... I felt real alone. Like sure I met nice guys, danced talked a bit, flirted, ect. But everyone seemed to have their own click or group of friends and I still felt like a total outsider.
After I went home and resumed my boring life alone lol.
Now I plan to maybe hit up ptown or Boston (or both) next week and am worried about going out alone all the time. I have a good head on my shoulders, but still have to watch my back, trust no one and watch what and how much I drink. Is this something all gay guys go thru? Having to venture out alone and thus, even if you are careful, you are vulnerable?
This is especially true because I am a hopeless romantic and crush so hard, especially when a cute guy is being friendly. Having never had a bf or even gay friends, I feel almost desperate for gay interactions and want to meet people for friends or possibly to date. Sure casual (safe) fucks r nice, but I was getting sex while closeted anyway.
So its a bit nerve racking and intimidating to try to break into gay life. It's like I can go out and have fun, but then I have no one to talk to the next day about the cute guy I was dancing with, or to joke with, or even to talk generally about anything gay related. Also no one to tell me, "that's a bad idea" or "hes a flake", or anything.
Does every gay guy go through this when they first try to make gay acquaintances? Any advice?
One thing to note is a lot of guys on here have been helpful, given me good advice and are the type of nice people that I want to meet, and I appreciate all of it. But I need real life friends who understand me. And its a little scary doing all of these things alone. I mean with no one to watch my back I could walk into the wrong bar, get my drink spiked and get surrounded by 8 bareback leather daddies. Although that would prob make a good porn, I would prefer to not b an unwilling cum dump.
Thanks for reading my long post, any advice is greatly appreciated.
First of all some background info. In college I was out to my friends, but had no gay friends and only went to a gay club once while there. After school I ended up moving Home and was living with my parents because I couldn't find work. So I got forced back in the closet.
Anyway now I have a job and am moving out. I plan to tell my parents that I'm gay soon after I move. And last weekend I told the first person in over a year that I'm gay. I told my sister and that went well, then I went to nyc for pride weekend.
Although I had fun.... I felt real alone. Like sure I met nice guys, danced talked a bit, flirted, ect. But everyone seemed to have their own click or group of friends and I still felt like a total outsider.
After I went home and resumed my boring life alone lol.
Now I plan to maybe hit up ptown or Boston (or both) next week and am worried about going out alone all the time. I have a good head on my shoulders, but still have to watch my back, trust no one and watch what and how much I drink. Is this something all gay guys go thru? Having to venture out alone and thus, even if you are careful, you are vulnerable?
This is especially true because I am a hopeless romantic and crush so hard, especially when a cute guy is being friendly. Having never had a bf or even gay friends, I feel almost desperate for gay interactions and want to meet people for friends or possibly to date. Sure casual (safe) fucks r nice, but I was getting sex while closeted anyway.
So its a bit nerve racking and intimidating to try to break into gay life. It's like I can go out and have fun, but then I have no one to talk to the next day about the cute guy I was dancing with, or to joke with, or even to talk generally about anything gay related. Also no one to tell me, "that's a bad idea" or "hes a flake", or anything.
Does every gay guy go through this when they first try to make gay acquaintances? Any advice?
One thing to note is a lot of guys on here have been helpful, given me good advice and are the type of nice people that I want to meet, and I appreciate all of it. But I need real life friends who understand me. And its a little scary doing all of these things alone. I mean with no one to watch my back I could walk into the wrong bar, get my drink spiked and get surrounded by 8 bareback leather daddies. Although that would prob make a good porn, I would prefer to not b an unwilling cum dump.
Thanks for reading my long post, any advice is greatly appreciated.