Why do I attract guys that already have a boyfriend?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    No matter what angle or source of dating I choose. I end up with the guys who either has someone or not quite broken up yet. Is it me or a bad luck streak?

    Not one to throw in the towel but what the heck.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    Keep at it mate. Maybe these guys you're meeting have other gay friends who are equally as appealing AND single. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 5:50 AM GMT
    maybe these guys just want to have sex with you and know that they can get away with having just that since they are already in a relationship.
  • Spiritreaver

    Posts: 2086

    Jul 01, 2011 7:54 AM GMT
    Ugh, yes, annoying. For me any attention I get is from guys who are taken, visiting, or weird.

    If I had dime for every awesome guy who flirted with me and had a BF or is "leaving tomorrow" I'd be able to buy some tasty bubblegum.

    Just keep at it, like pm_83 said, it's always good to network. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 01, 2011 9:56 AM GMT
    Are you sure you aren't misinterpreting their motives? It is possible to have a boyfriend and have other gay friends icon_razz.gif

    Last statistic I saw showed about a 60% rate of homos being single.. so yeah I think you can find one lol.
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    Jul 01, 2011 5:51 PM GMT
    Spiritreaver saidUgh, yes, annoying. For me any attention I get is from guys who are taken, visiting, or weird.

    If I had dime for every awesome guy who flirted with me and had a BF or is "leaving tomorrow" I'd be able to buy some tasty bubblegum.

    Just keep at it, like pm_83 said, it's always good to network. icon_smile.gif


    I totally understand that, same happens to me lol

    But yeah, just keep on trucking, you'll find someone eventually. Just keep your eyes out,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 7:07 PM GMT

    What angles and sources of dating have you specifically "chosen" ?
  • Spiritreaver

    Posts: 2086

    Jul 01, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    Iron_Casanova said
    What angles and sources of dating have you specifically "chosen" ?
    I like taking guys off the 45 of an oil rig.

    They have great balance and get their hands dirty!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    I'm a Realtor and very active in different professional organizations. So that is the channel mainly. Then of course match.com and friends setting up blind dates.

    Maybe my post comes across like I'm lost or something when it comes to this, and that's not the case. When ever I meet a guy I make it very clear what I'm looking for. I do not mis represent myself at all. This is usually when I discover they are in a relationship and so on.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 8:14 PM GMT
    emotional unavailability.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    i wouldn't take that shit if i was you. Just ask him if he's single?

  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Jul 01, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    LOL.....I been there done that....I have even asked if they were single. Boy stil lied to my face,,,,I found out 2 months later he already had a b/f....LMAO
    icon_lol.gificon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 9:29 PM GMT
    I don't think that the question should be, "Why do I attract guys that already have a boyfriend?"

    The better question is, "Why do guys who have a boyfriend try to date/fuck me?" That question is easier to answer although just as confusing to understand.
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    Jul 01, 2011 10:09 PM GMT

    Don't date through channels that have to do with your job...you'll develop a reputation. The talk around the water cooler will be about, guess what, and when some guy is scratching himself in the bathroom, one of your past dates will say...I know who you can date to relieve that itch.

    Don't let your friends set you up, make your own dates. Now if your friends want to introduce you, let them, but use your own judgement from there. Your friends may think because you're gay, all they need to look for is a man.

    Match.com may as well be Ashly Madison.com....it's supposed to be a classy social/dating site? No such thing; stick to the gay social/dating sites, just be clear you want dating. There are guys on there who desire that too, crazy but true. Up side is bi/married/partnered seem to be uncomfortably truthful about their married status on strictly gay dating sites.

    And get the phone out of your face, take off your glasses; you look shady like what you attract. Be as open as what you want to attract. Be what you want to attract.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 01, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    mckinney31 saidNo matter what angle or source of dating I choose. I end up with the guys who either has someone or not quite broken up yet. Is it me or a bad luck streak?

    Not one to throw in the towel but what the heck.

    ha ha ha dude, i feel the same way and here i thought it was just me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]mckinney31 said[/cite]
    Iron_Casanova said
    Don't date through channels that have to do with your job...you'll develop a reputation. The talk around the water cooler will be about, guess what, and when some guy is scratching himself in the bathroom, one of your past dates will say...I know who you can date to relieve that itch.

    Don't let your friends set you up, make your own dates. Now if your friends want to introduce you, let them, but use your own judgement from there. Your friends may think because you're gay, all they need to look for is a man.

    Match.com may as well be Ashly Madison.com....it's supposed to be a classy social/dating site? No such thing; stick to the gay social/dating sites, just be clear you want dating. There are guys on there who desire that too, crazy but true. Up side is bi/married/partnered seem to be uncomfortably truthful about their married status on strictly gay dating sites.

    And get the phone out of your face, take off your glasses; you look shady like what you attract. Be as open as what you want to attract. Be what you want to attract.
    [/quote

    Shady? first off the guys who I've met aren't off here and they are in person. Not based off the profile picture. So the phone in my face isn't the issue thank you. Check yourself! I'm upfront with all who I meet that's how I find out they are in a relationship. Again I say I'm up front about what I'm looking for and expecting .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2011 4:09 AM GMT
    I think people can mislead others in an attempt to satisfy their own desires. We happen to be in a day and age where I find monogamy is hard to come by. I keep encountering more and more people in 'open relationships' and 'threeway relationships', which it sounds is similar to what you are encountering. As a result, single guys looking to date other single guys wind up finding attached guys because of the situation within our society. I know very few gay men actually looking to date or be in a relationship. Many say that they want that, but the actuality is different.
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    Jul 02, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    homewrecker...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2011 9:13 AM GMT
    I don't know....but I run into the same thing.

    I'm reading a book right now by Katherine Thomas that hits on this very issue. But at least you are trying to find out their intentions from the beginning.

    A lot of guys can't seem to focus on their own plate. They want to eat off someone else's plate instead of the one right in front of their fucking face.

    The 1st guy to email me on connexion.org here in Denver had on his profile committed relationship. As in, he was in one. He was pestering me NON STOP about meeting. Inbox filled with messages. He works near me.

    Well just tonight I seen him with his boyfriend. I stared, and then just laughed.