Straight guys working gay bars

  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Apr 19, 2008 10:09 AM GMT
    Ok, so I started bar-tending recently (something I've not done in 4 years).
    My 2nd night, I had to work alongside a straight guy behind the same bar (I work at a gay bar btw...).

    Now, I know he's got every right to work there as I do, but when I see him playing it up for tips and swaying people to his side of the bar from mine (who were walking up to me before he 'intervened'), I was kinda like, 'dude -WTF?'
    It was so cut-throat! Unlike any bar I've worked in b4...
    I guess I feel a bit shafted. Its SO not fair-but I guess thats life...
    I know if I tried to work in a straight bar and did that, other guys were guys would be bullshit.
    So, what's w/ all this?
    It really irks me. Especially when it seems like he doesn't really give a fuck about gay people and just sees $ signs.
    Should I be looking at it it more cold and sterile? -Or should I retain my soul??
    I mean I can be just as competitive and sales driven, but that really would take the fun out of it (kind of like how my straight co-worker did for me -I really had a crap time tonight!..)
    I guess I would rather just enjoy myself than have it be a contest....grrrr.......
    icon_mad.gif
    Am I alone on this????????????????????????????
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 19, 2008 11:37 AM GMT
    You're kinda right in that gay guys don't work in str8 bars
    But then I started thinkin'
    I bet a lot of gay guys have worked in str8 bars in the past... and look at gay waiters

    The one that cracks me up are the str8 shirtless wonders who work down here in So FL bars
    really hot str8 guys who work the bars here and are str8 besides .... oh how the world has changed
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    Apr 19, 2008 1:40 PM GMT
    Hot nude male erotic "macho dancers" in gaybars in Thailand are straight. Married with kids, even.
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    Apr 19, 2008 1:54 PM GMT
    dude...it's a job. he's trying to make as much cash as he can. why are you harshing his gig? is it truly because you are outraged at the moral impications of pretending to be something you are not in order to get ahead? or is it because he is doing a good job at it?

    what is he doing to "sway people?" maybe you should try some swaying of your own...

    I find that shirtless, unbuttoned jeans wearing bartenders get my tips (just a thought)
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    Apr 19, 2008 1:56 PM GMT
    Gay guys don't work in str8 bars? That's news to me. Gay guys and women work for straight establishments of all kinds all over the place.
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    Apr 19, 2008 1:56 PM GMT
    GQjockoh how the world has changed

    Ditto. It would never occur to me that a bartender in a gay bar could be scraight.

    Have you shown the customers your penis yet, Kinetic? Perhaps that would help. (I hope it would.)

    Do you think your response might be affected by the fact this was just your second night and you haven't bartended in four years? Maybe the guy was taking advantage of your newbie status and you need to assert your territorial rights (piss on him).

    Anyway, I doubt your soul will mind your becoming competitive and it might not feel so odd after a few weeks. My second partner, the Navy man who was kicked out for sodomy, was a bartender and he used to describe the same kind of thing, so it can't be entirely new. He preferred working in straight bars.
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    Apr 19, 2008 2:05 PM GMT
    hey OW? you said your second partner, the Navy man, was kicked out for sodomy. does that mean he was kicked out of the Navy for sodomy, or you kicked him out of your house for sodomy?

    oh, ya...and just to stay on topic. Kinetic, I agree with him...show your penis...

    if it will make you feel more comfortable you can show it to me first and I'll tip you...kinda of like a dry run.
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    Apr 19, 2008 2:15 PM GMT
    You know I rarely drink, but when I do, I want the damn thing strong. Call me shallow but I use the bartender that pours the stiffest drink, and thats the one that gets my tip. Pour me some 3/4 pop POS drink and watch your tip go away. Beyond that there is only one other stiffness that matters...Its a bar its not supposed to be a place of moral perfection.

  • GettingFitter

    Posts: 158

    Apr 19, 2008 2:32 PM GMT
    he knows he is being hired based on his looks as it draws attention to the bar and so people were notice then the alcohol and want to buy more, and so he is doing what your manager had hired him for in the first place. I am sure also that a lot of the patrons there realise he is straight but are only human and love to go icon_twisted.gif at a good looking piece of man meat anyway.
  • Muunrakur

    Posts: 169

    Apr 19, 2008 2:35 PM GMT
    The orientation doesn't bother me, but I've also bartended in a few gay bars/clubs and I've never experienced someone behaving a cut-throat way like that. However, I should mentioned that where I worked, we pooled our tips, perhaps that destroys the incentive to be an asshole.
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    Apr 19, 2008 2:39 PM GMT
    There is a really hot straight bartender at a bar in Omaha. What amazes me is the number of guys who "know" he's gay and are bound and determined to convert him. He's a really nice guy, but in this case, it's the patrons who are being jerks.
    Otherwise I agree with ynghungsfsd: I got to whoever makes the best drink. Many times it's the lesbians.icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 19, 2008 2:58 PM GMT
    Hey if he's got the personality to sell more then why not. And i'm sur if the guys knew he was straight they'd go to him just as much. A lot of gay guys like the idea of getting the "Straight" guy..

    A bar here in Toronto has a guy that fits that discription. The guy ended up exchanging numbers with my friend Lise and they ended up having a very goodtime later that week. It took us half the night thou to figure out which team he was playing for. He did a good job without being overkill.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Apr 19, 2008 3:09 PM GMT
    tommy, His swaying was being like a foot taller than me so he had the natural advantage of seeing people like 10ft before they approached the bar and getting their attention! so unfair! - But such is life *sigh*
    Oh and I work it behind the bar!
    I guess I was just a lil pissed last night when I posted this.
    I got some rest and am cool now. Oh and I worked only in str8 bars previously!
    I always had the mentality that there was far more drama in gay bars so I was a bit wary of working in one... I think I was right!! LOL
    Obscene, I got a few $20 tips 2 nights back for flashing my junk -Haha!!
    SFstud, We ALL pour em strong @ this place. I just think he had an advantage of his 1st night back in 6 months and not to mention like I said when ppl came outside they could see him a foot over the crowd and me only when they approached the bar... >_<
    We did originally plan on pooling our tips and next time that will be the deal breaker as it was SO not busy enuf for the 2 of us needing to be back there. In retrospect, we were both pretty pissed that it ended up not being just one of us.
    Ok then, it's a new day. I'M OVER IT! -just needed to vent when I got in last night!
    icon_cool.gif



  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Apr 19, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
    Sean_85 saidHey if he's got the personality to sell more then why not. And i'm sur if the guys knew he was straight they'd go to him just as much. A lot of gay guys like the idea of getting the "Straight" guy..

    A bar here in Toronto has a guy that fits that discription. The guy ended up exchanging numbers with my friend Lise and they ended up having a very goodtime later that week. It took us half the night thou to figure out which team he was playing for. He did a good job without being overkill.


    I agree. Its just my first time working in a gay bar so i wasn't expecting it.. I'm sure I'll have my own fan base in a few weeks, just as he has his.
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    Apr 19, 2008 3:12 PM GMT
    kinetic saidWe ALL pour em strong @ this place.
    Just where is this placeicon_razz.gif
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    Apr 19, 2008 4:45 PM GMT
    kinetic saidIts just my first time working in a gay bar so i wasn't expecting it.. I'm sure I'll have my own fan base in a few weeks, just as he has his.

    Hey, I'd buy my drinks from you. icon_wink.gif
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Apr 19, 2008 4:53 PM GMT
    I had a friend who was a bartender. He was straight and worked in a place that would not be identified as a gay hang out. He worked everyone for tips. He was very personable and he could really turn on the charm. BTW- He was HOT as Hell so that probably helped out a lot!! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 19, 2008 4:55 PM GMT
    I know it's irrational but I get annoyed by straight bartenders at gay bars, it always seems patronizing to me somehow.

    Please note that I said that I know it's irrational so please don't flame me.
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    Apr 19, 2008 5:07 PM GMT
    I usually don't pay it any attention...but I guess if I think about it hard enough, I'm kinda heartened that they are comfortable enough to work in a gay establishment.

    And flame you, innerathlete? I'm always up for keeping ya warm. icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 19, 2008 5:29 PM GMT
    Flame you? No, that doesn't decribe what I'd like to do to you.

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    Apr 19, 2008 5:32 PM GMT
    Hmm...well, maybe zdrew can hold me tight while jp goes into a little more detail about what he'd like to do to me. icon_evil.gif
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    Apr 19, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    innerathlete saidHmm...well, maybe zdrew can hold me tight while jp goes into a little more detail about what he'd like to do to me. icon_evil.gif


    Oh, I thought you knew. I'd pack your Simpsons lunchbox and send you off to school, you cute l'il kid.
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    Apr 19, 2008 5:37 PM GMT
    Do I get to wear a lil sailor outfit and cap?
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    Apr 19, 2008 5:38 PM GMT
    Don't be disgusting. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 19, 2008 5:44 PM GMT
    For the record, innerathlete called me a whippersnapper once. If he's going to school with a Simpsons lunchbox, where's my pacifier??