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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 9:02 PM GMT
    #.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    Yes, I have many but not very many in the city that I live in now. I still keep in touch with them regularly, and miss them a lot. You need to find your niche. It's out there.
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    Jul 01, 2011 9:07 PM GMT
    CutMeDown saidGay gays don't seem to treat each other as equals for the most part, IMO.
    That's why I hang out with straight gays.
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    Jul 01, 2011 9:18 PM GMT
    I've had several such friends through the years and always open to more, I've had ups and downs with gay buds as with straights, but I do find gay relationships even better.overall because of the common bond of being gay.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 02, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
    We have a group of 6-8 guys.
    We've known each other for many years.
    Most of us spend birthdays and holidays together, plus a lot of other occasions.
    I go over to water plants and pick up mail when they're away.
    Just had lunch, today, with one of them.
    Four of us are going out to dinner on Tuesday.
    All of us are meeting for breakfast, a week from this Saturday.

    We're very close.
    There are no liars and no takers.
    We all genuinely care about each other.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jul 02, 2011 1:08 AM GMT
    Im the oldest out of my group of friends and always end up babysitting and being the mother hen. I dont want to date anyone they date. I actually like my friends and care for them.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 02, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    CutMeDown saidDo any of you have a "nurturing friendship" with other gay guys that aren't your lovers?


    Yes, I have a few of the local college guys who know where they can come for a little "nurturing and wisdom" ... pirate_2.gif
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    Jul 02, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    This used to be pretty common. I have gay friends I've known for 40 years (would have had more but for AIDS) and I know they are guys I could turn to for anything. Nothing like guys who have known you when you were young and foolish, and still like you when you're old and foolish. I do feel there is a brotherhood among gays, though Idon't see too much evidence of it. My partner and I always felt we had a responsibility to our friends and to the succeeding generations.
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    Jul 02, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    CutMeDown saidPerhaps it's just me but many gay guys I've tried to befriend all just want to cut me down or use me (to get to my boyfriend or with another friend). All my closest friendships are with straight guys who treat me as a equal. Gay gays don't seem to treat each other as equals for the most part, IMO.

    There seems be no form of "brotherhood" or real nurturing relationships amongst gay guys, IMO. Does anyone else feel this way? It doesn't feel to me like there is really a "nurturing gay community" at all just a bunch of guys who share a similar sexuality and will walk all over you to try to get what they want.



    there IS a nurturing community of gays....it just so happened you met the wrong crowd. keep at it and meet new people, you will eventually find a group of friends who genuinely care and can definitely be considered friends.

    i speak from experience, and currently enjoy the community and nurturing from my own group of friends :-). i do think of them as my brothers!
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    Jul 02, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    Almost all of my friends are gay men or women. We aren't bitchy or cunty with one another. In fact I was just helping my buddies Mark and Mark move last weekend. I think it's like how some women don't like other women, some gay men don't like other gay men.
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    Jul 02, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    antelope saidThis used to be pretty common. I have gay friends I've known for 40 years (would have had more but for AIDS) and I know they are guys I could turn to for anything. Nothing like guys who have known you when you were young and foolish, and still like you when you're old and foolish. I do feel there is a brotherhood among gays, though I don't see too much evidence of it. My partner and I always felt we had a responsibility to our friends and to the succeeding generations.


    Well put!

    I am very blessed and fortunate to have a group of gay and bisexual male friends who I can turn to, depend on, and enjoy being with who won't try to steal a boyfriend or knowingly stab you in the back. My straight friends are the same.

    But I do understand the OP's line of thinking. I mean, you see it happen so much among gay men, i.e. the back stabbing and man stealing. And while our sexuality does define who we are and what we do, to a degree, it shouldn't make us intentionally do things to hurt our friends.

    However, a nurturing gay and bisexual male community DOES exist! It may take some time to find those men, but it will be well worth it.
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    Jul 02, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    I have amazing brotherhood with a couple. People usually judge us before really getting to know us and make the typical stereotype comments. However, we could give a fuck less. Here's the situation: two are gay porn stars and the others are just successful at what they do best. We're all very close and got each other's back - this is the type of friendship I adore the most. No sense of jealousy, envy, or even backstabbing.

    So yes - there are...you just got to find the right group who are passionate about being friends and nothing more.

  • sevencloud

    Posts: 96

    Jul 02, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    I have a really great group of friends, gay and straight. We all look out for one another like siblings. Or in my case, I'm "Uncle". In the instance of my younger friends I'm always looking out for them and giving them advice. To my older friends I'm kind of an "old" soul so I end up being able to have friendships with a diverse group of people age and life wise.

    I do have one gay best friend, we are PLP (Platonic Life Partners), like he's the kind of friend where I could just spend days with and be totally fine. (We all have friends that have to be taken in smaller doses) We've been on many a zany misadventure and he's basically like my brother. His mom and I even go out on dates when he's not around. He's in Texas right now at video game school but will be coming back for break and I can't wait to see him. We text and message almost every other day so it's not that bad. Still I miss the fact that he isn't a few blocks from me.

    Our story itself is epic and long and I won't get into but we've been able to make a friendship out of something strictly platonic, I know a few gay guys who've made friends out of ex boyfriends or guys they were interested in the past. Which I think is much more interesting in the end.
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    Jul 02, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    I don't seem to keep gay friends that long. And, I've tried. Most of the gay men I've encountered wanted to either fuck, date, or get married. Or just straight up use me. And when it becomes clear that none of those are going to work they become total bitches. So I see where you're coming from. I know there have to be decent gay guys around. Where are they?
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    Jul 02, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Yes, I have many good friends with gay guys.

    As with ANYONE.... its not easy to find a ton people that you mesh well with. But they are out there! Doesn't matter if you are straight are gay. Shitty people are shitty people.... regardless of sexual orientation.