A Gay Marriage Etiquette Guide

  • metta

    Posts: 39089

    Jul 02, 2011 8:07 AM GMT
    A Gay Marriage Etiquette Guide

    http://gawker.com/5815898/a-gay-marriage-etiquette-guide
  • denus

    Posts: 46

    Jul 02, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    Interesting topic.

    As for the ring thing, I always thought you could get something like this if you're a guy. Non-traditional, but still nice looking and masculine.
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    Jul 02, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    Churches definitely need to move the chairs for both parties walking down the aisle.

    And imagine the financial bonanza jewelry stores are salivating over! Men buying rings!icon_lol.gif
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Jul 02, 2011 12:55 PM GMT
    I remember my own awkwardness buying an engagement ring for my partner. However the jeweler didn't miss a beat. "Well, it's actually for a guy...we're getting married in Iowa."

    "OH! You have his ring size?"

    They see dollar signs. They made me feel more comfortable. But it was...novel.

    peace,
    Bardy
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    Jul 02, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    My late partner & I faced this 10 years ago, though we couldn't get legally married in Texas or any state we lived, just a concept in our own minds.

    Engagement ring: He surprised me with an understated diamond one, dropping to his knees during dinner at his place to propose (so corny yet so lovely & touching). Since he took the initiative on that, I bought us matching wedding rings almost immediately, so I never got him his own engagement ring (a question this article doesn't address).

    Wedding: We never had one, nor a commitment ceremony. But should my present partner & I now go to NY for one (something we're considering), we'd be without our Florida friends, so probably just have a simple civil ceremony in front of a judge or justice of the peace, with whatever witnesses we could find. Unless some friends want to fly up with us.

    In an ideal world with a marriage in our own community, we'd either come down the aisle together, or separately with our Best Men/witnesses. Of which we'd have 2. We'd pay for it together, of course (though charging admission is always a temptation).

    Another question not addressed in the article is what to wear. We'd both wear black tie for a late afternoon wedding, neither of us considering doing drag (though both of us have done comic drag). We don't see our relationship as man - woman, but rather man - man, and that's how we'd be married.

    BTW, technically I could be married in my US Army officer's dress uniform, being officially retired, but I'd need to have a new one made, as the old one no longer fits. And it would make me too much the resplendent "peacock" when we should appear equals.
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    Jul 10, 2011 11:41 AM GMT
    +1 for the 'It Gets Better Project' link
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    Jul 10, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    My husband and I live in DC. We had a commitment ceremony several years ago (before marriage equality came to DC), saying our vows before family and friends. When DC finally legalized marriage equality, we went to the courthouse with ourselves and our witnesses and were the 69th same-sex couple to wed in the district.

    We bought our rings together (tungsten -- simple silver bands that can't be dented or scratched!) and the salespeople never batted an eye. Very professional and courteous.
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    Jul 10, 2011 9:47 PM GMT
    Am I the only one who cringes when thinking about marriage? Not marriage in general, but just doing things in the traditional way. The proposal on one knee and the idea of walking down the aisle in front of a hundred people to take vows just makes me want to hurl.

    When my ex and I were discussing marriage, he wanted a huge affair. The rings, walking down the aisle, tuxes, the cake, big reception... all of it. There was not any aspect of it that I felt comfortable with.
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    Jul 10, 2011 9:52 PM GMT
    love it! another tradition that gays can kill are the stupid line dances! funky chicken, kiss my ass. electric slide your way to someone else's wedding.
  • metta

    Posts: 39089

    Jul 24, 2011 3:33 PM GMT



    Etiquette Adjustments - Is it appropriate to ask longtime gay and lesbian couples if they plan to marry, now that they can?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/24/fashion/weddings/with-gay-weddings-come-etiquette-questions-social-qs.html?_r=1&ref=style