Being Single.. and happy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    So, I broke up with my boyfriend 4 months ago and after going through all that hurt and mess from breaking up.. I want to be voluntarily single!

    I went to a couple NYC bars, and this is pretty much the first time I have been single while there and just kind of watched the other single people either be sad or desperately try to hook up with someone. They looked like they spent all their time and energy just trying to pair up, and that is so very boring!

    I think single people get so hung up on being lonely, horny and bored they forget that there are plenty of people with boyfriends who are lonely, horny and bored!

    There is such a huge push for us to pair the fuck up and then when we do get paired up we pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. I was really guilty of this and I didn't realize how many people I probably just ignored when they tried to talk to me. I talked to some of them, but once it became clear I wasn't going to "pair" up with them, they moved onto the next one. And people with someone, holy shit, it was like talking to a brick wall. I told one guy he should dance (he was standing there all surly faced, drinkless with his arms crossed in the MIDDLE of all the people dancing) and he looked at me like I was crazy. (I wasn't crazy, just drunk ;))

    It was a really interesting experience, but I can listen to lady gaga and metallica mixed together in the comfort of my home without dropping $9/drink and at least I crossed going out alone off my bucket. list.

    Thoughts? Are you voluntarily single AND happy?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Absolutely, single and very happy. Happiness comes from within -- not from people, places, and things. Platonic friendships are the best. One can always get laid.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 1:13 PM GMT
    vincent7 saidAbsolutely, single and very happy. Happiness comes from within -- not from people, places, and things. Platonic friendships are the best. One can always get laid.


    WORD!

    It sounds simple, but it's genuinely true. I've been single for months and I genuinely like it. I'm not opposed to dating, but I have little interest in "pairing up" for the sake of having a warm body in the sack.

    Personally, if I were to feel lonely, horny and bored ... I take those feelings onto myself and expect to change them myself. The last thing that I want to do is to find a trick to displace those thoughts. I've played more tennis, spent more time with friends/my dogs, taking classes, etc. Focus on yourself, being the best person that you can be, and allow things to happen instead of giving into a compulsion to "pair up."
  • Ryvick1212

    Posts: 29

    Jul 02, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    Personally, I have trouble being single, but I've found the one thing that helps me a lot is being active. The more stuff I'm involved with, the more I'm content with being single. Part of the reason I actually joined this site was to give me something new to do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    Ryvick1212 saidPersonally, I have trouble being single, but I've found the one thing that helps me a lot is being active. The more stuff I'm involved with, the more I'm content with being single. Part of the reason I actually joined this site was to give me something new to do.


    So, there is more to this but I didn't think most people were interested in the research icon_razz.gif

    Would you consider yourself involuntarily single or temporarily single?

    I know I won't be single "forever" but I'm single by choice for a while and enjoying it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    I'm pretty happy being single and would be very comfortable being with someone OR being single. I've been voluntarily 'single' for well over a year and during that time, I've been talking to a great guy 4-5 days a week, getting to know one another and wondering where things will go and what will happen. I personally believe that once you reach the point where you realize that you don't need to be with someone to be happy, is a great milestone! It means, to me at the least, that we are pretty happy with who we are and whether we end up with someone or not, it's alright.
  • Ryvick1212

    Posts: 29

    Jul 02, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    Adam228Would you consider yourself involuntarily single or temporarily single?


    Temporarily, for sure. I mean I've been out for 6 years now and for the first 5 years was never with a guy. I'm still in that "Oh my god there are gay guys I should be in a relationship" Stage after getting to college, so my opinion about being single may change over time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    adam228 saidSo, I broke up with my boyfriend 4 months ago and after going through all that hurt and mess from breaking up.. I want to be voluntarily single!

    I went to a couple NYC bars, and this is pretty much the first time I have been single while there and just kind of watched the other single people either be sad or desperately try to hook up with someone. They looked like they spent all their time and energy just trying to pair up, and that is so very boring!

    I think single people get so hung up on being lonely, horny and bored they forget that there are plenty of people with boyfriends who are lonely, horny and bored!

    There is such a huge push for us to pair the fuck up and then when we do get paired up we pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. I was really guilty of this and I didn't realize how many people I probably just ignored when they tried to talk to me. I talked to some of them, but once it became clear I wasn't going to "pair" up with them, they moved onto the next one. And people with someone, holy shit, it was like talking to a brick wall. I told one guy he should dance (he was standing there all surly faced, drinkless with his arms crossed in the MIDDLE of all the people dancing) and he looked at me like I was crazy. (I wasn't crazy, just drunk ;))

    It was a really interesting experience, but I can listen to lady gaga and metallica mixed together in the comfort of my home without dropping $9/drink and at least I crossed going out alone off my bucket. list.

    Thoughts? Are you voluntarily single AND happy?


    not voluntarily single - no. but i am happy with who i am and in what state i find myself
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    I'm voluntarily single and I'm happy.

    It's not that I'm not talking to guys...but I'm not calling anyone my actual boyfriend just yet.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Jul 02, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    I've never been on a date before so I'm used to being single.

    My singleness is voluntary because I'm not pursuing a relationship, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be in one. It's just that right now I need to get some things settled before I introduce a new variable in my life.

    I won't say that I'm happy about it. I'm just putting up with the singleness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    Single is better than a bad relationship or settling for a mediocre one. It does get me down sometimes but for the most part I'm good with it. I do what I want pretty much when I want and nobody jabs me when I snore...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 3:05 PM GMT
    jawrhed saidSingle is better than a bad relationship or settling for a mediocre one. It does get me down sometimes but for the most part I'm good with it. I do what I want pretty much when I want and nobody jabs me when I snore...


    marry me

    then we will both be un-single LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 3:11 PM GMT
    Am single and always in the mingle! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 7:01 PM GMT
    I've always been single and I always will be. It's the only way I can manage life. I crave sexual attention and cuddles. Jerking off relieves the first, stuffed animals help with the second.. a bit.

    I'm happier choosing to be single than I was trying to find a boyfriend.

    I would like to have an excuse to go to bars again though just to see different people and socialize with the gays.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 8:46 PM GMT
    Smart move.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2011 9:17 PM GMT
    Voluntarily single, check - saw what was available, not interested in any of it since some of my long distance pen-pals are much more interesting, articulate, and relationshippy material than the bar-skank/community bicycle or flamboyant hairdresser who insulted my sweet green running shoes at the gym.

    Happy, more questionable - I hate how everything professional networking-wise is opened up to +1s for spouses or partners. It makes me feel like a hideous leper showing up alone. The only way I can justify it is that (a) its open bar and (b) I would rather be solo than be with someone that embarrasses me. I spend a few hours each week looking through the dating sites and at the end of each week the little angel and devil have a steel cage death match about whether I am willing to finally start settling before its too late or whether I am just going to keep getting older, fatter, and balder. Since I have not settled yet I would say non-relationship things like reading and Pokemon have kept me distracted to the point where I am happy ENOUGH, but still see some room for improvement when I meet someone worth meeting. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 03, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    In the same boat.

    I'm single, I like being that way. A relationship was great and all but I want to be single and not have to deal with the bullshit of another guy and all that it entails.

    I don't get said being single, actually being single makes me happier then I ever was in a relationship, no more thinking about another person, no more having to make decisions on what they'd like because they don't want to make them, no more having to put up with anything but myself.

    Yeah I gotta say I'm happy and am focusing on what I want rather then what "we" want.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 03, 2011 3:44 AM GMT
    I'm very happy being single.... I figure a relationship will happen when it's meant to happen. Until then, I'm happy with my friends, family, and precious pooch.

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 03, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    I'm single...but love to date....so many handsome guys out there....pirate_2.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 03, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    i am both voluntarily single and happy. i pretty much threw in the towel earlier this year
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 03, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    adam228 saidAre you voluntarily single AND happy?
    5+ yrs and counting...yes.
  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    Jul 03, 2011 6:22 AM GMT
    Voluntarily single, yes, happy eh working on it.

    This is the longest I've ever been single in over 4.5 years, I went from a 3+ year relationship that ended last year to a 6-month relationship a month after that. I've been single since January but still tried to find a guy who was boyfriend material, I've come to the conclusion that I'm a chronic dater who tends to rush into things, and I tend to get attached really fast icon_redface.gif.

    Working on trying to be happy with myself right now,as the old cliche goes "You've gotta love yourself, before loving someone else". I'm finding this a hard concept to incorporate in my life right now. I'm currently casually dating a guy who I see potential with, but we are actually taking things slow which is new for me. So just gonna sit back and enjoy the ride, no pun intended, an see what develops while trying to not worry about it.

    Especially sucks right now as I have more free time on my hands with graduating from nursing school and Ill have no more massive amounts of studying or homework to fill the time; though it will allow for more time in the gym! I've also been picking up new hobbies lately as well, and surprisingly they don't include trying to finding a boyfriend icon_rolleyes.gif
  • tallguy86

    Posts: 39

    Jul 03, 2011 6:28 AM GMT
    You have to be happy on your own before you are happy in a relationship! This is my mantra and I love being single.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 03, 2011 9:50 AM GMT
    %3F.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 03, 2011 10:10 AM GMT
    Are you voluntarily single and happy?

    Not voluntarily but I am happy and content being single. I won't lie, at first back when I was 18, I always worried if I would get a boyfriend and would do some searching but to no avail. But by the time I turned 19, despite some heart breaks I had when I was getting to know about 2 guys who basically threw me aside. I started to think to myself, is this kind of stuff really worth it? After pondering that thought, I decided to just stop and focus on myself. And let me tell you, I'm happy I did. I'm so much more happier not worrying about having a boyfriend. I hope that my first real boyfriend will be worth the wait but bleh, I can wait. But yeah, I'm totally happy being single and it's not the end of the world. As long as you're happy with yourself and doing things you love, that should be what really matters, at least in my opinion. icon_smile.gif