Finding a guy attractive who is not at all your type on the surface.

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    Jul 03, 2011 8:19 AM GMT
    Last night i went on a date. With a guy from my A4A account which I deleted. I told him that I was gonna delete that account because it's not the type of men I want in my life anymore. At first he wanted me to go to his place get on all fours while he shoved his cock up my asshole. I was like no I'm not gonna do that. I said I wanted more than just a fuck&flee. If you want a chance to get a taste of these sweet buttermilk biscuits we need to go on a date( yeah I pulled the bitch card) He agreed. When he picked me up I saw him at the gate and he was way bigger in person. He looked like a hairy John Goodman with a bald head. I was like Ahhh! I wanted to run back in my house and slam the door. Totally not my type. I wouldn't want to take this guy to the club. Or tell anybody that he was my man. My first intention was to get rid of him.Yet I took the high road. I went out on a date with him. I noticed things about him as we talked like he has really nice teeth and eyes. he does go to the gym. In a funny way he was kinda cute. During the night our conversation was really good, he made me laugh. Which few people do. Was very easy to talk to. Smart, and a pretty impressive career. The date was really romantic. The kiss was a sweet one. I wasn't expecting to like him a first but date was so good I think I could go for another one. yet on the surface we don't have very much in common.Yet he's kinda turning me on. Not sure if it's because I really like him or just because I'm hungry for man meat because I haven't eaten in a bit?

    So my question is can you fall for someone your not sexual attracted too? Or have you ever fell for a beast?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2011 9:23 AM GMT
    oh yes so many times. I used to have a type then I kept running into guys that were not in my type list but I fell for them for several reasons so I burned the list.

    Looks does count but eventually you will fall in love with the person for who they are even if he has one brow bigger than the other. Personality and social interaction are gold.
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    Jul 03, 2011 10:32 AM GMT
    I think it was very cool of you to go on a date with this guy. I guess the saying is true, never judge a book by it's cover.

    As for your question, I think it can happen sometimes and when you least expect it too. Like benz72 said, you eventually fall for the person more then his looks. It's happened to me about 2 times but they didn't go too far in the long run since one of them was a bit out of my age range and the other was just visiting. So yeah, I do believe you can fall for someone you are not attracted to at first.
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    Jul 03, 2011 12:32 PM GMT
    Can a person not be superficial and find someone attractive because of their personality? I think so.
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    Jul 03, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    What would be the problem with just becoming good friends?
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    Jul 03, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    vincent7 saidWhat would be the problem with just becoming good friends?


    Isn't that an urban legend in the gay community? Males being just good friends?
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    Jul 03, 2011 1:30 PM GMT
    I have done that before and it was great, just go for it...
    There are alot of guys out there that are wrapped in beautiful packaging and theres nothing inside. There are alot of guys packaging may be basic on the outside, but the inside is beautiful.....
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    Jul 03, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    I would say it's what many, maybe most of us do. There are lucky people who only date people who are a perfect match for them, the rest has to compromise to some degree.

    You showed some kind of shame for dating this guy. If this feeling continues after you get to know him well, it's better for the sake of mutuality to just leave him, as it's not fair to be in an unequal relationship where he likes you more than you like him.

    It doesn't matter if the reason of rejection is a shallow one. Attraction is not a debt: it should be spontaneous and mutual. You shouldn't date him because you think you should. If you find out that you were just needy and that he starts to cling on you, be fair with him and don't let it continue.
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    Jul 03, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    Types change and tastes evolve, and hopefully broaden as we get older. I don't really know that I have a type because different people will turn my head for different reasons.

    Or maybe I'm just desparate. icon_razz.gif
  • sevencloud

    Posts: 96

    Jul 03, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    I always fall for the beast.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Jul 03, 2011 3:52 PM GMT
    Only one way to find out. Keep dating him and see where it goes.

    Keep in mind that attraction is relative, and what you think you need most may not be as important as other things about a man besides physical appearance.

    That said, you have to have sexual chemistry that is real. Lasting relationships include - are not exclusively based upon, but DO include - sexual compatibility. In several prominent University studies on the factors that go into happy long-term marriages and domestic partnerships, the number one response from both men and women was a healthy sex life (this after as long as thirty to fifty years, and healthy meant at least once a week even well into their 80's and 90's). It would figure that you have to have some physical attraction in order to have a good sex life, but again, it's relative to what you personally find attractive and satisfying.

    So you have to have physical attraction in the mix. Does it have to be what you always thought it was going to be? No. But you can't overlook it.
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    Jul 03, 2011 6:33 PM GMT
    bachian saidI would say it's what many, maybe most of us do. There are lucky people who only date people who are a perfect match for them, the rest has to compromise to some degree.

    You showed some kind of shame for dating this guy. If this feeling continues after you get to know him well, it's better for the sake of mutuality to just leave him, as it's not fair to be in an unequal relationship where he likes you more than you like him.

    It doesn't matter if the reason of rejection is a shallow one. Attraction is not a debt: it should be spontaneous and mutual. You shouldn't date him because you think you should. If you find out that you were just needy and that he starts to cling on you, be fair with him and don't let it continue.


    yeah there could be some shame.Not really the type to brag about his hot body.I haven't had sex with him yet but he really wants too.mmm what to do? he's very charming never thought I would ever look in a bear direction before. but still not my type physically he would have to get in shape.

    All this exercise and dieting I do. I can't just watch somebody sit and eat twinkles and be my man. I'm not taking that.

    I'm moving next month so I know I will not be in a relationship with this guy.

    So I'm just taken back. What if I run into my friends with this guy. They are gonna laugh at me. He look like winnie the pooh with that red polo he had on last night when I first saw him.

    I'm gonna go on a second date and see what's going on. He does treat me really well and is funny.

    If a guy is lame I really don't care how hot he is. I'll keep you guys posted.

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    Jul 03, 2011 10:00 PM GMT
    silkrock saidLast night i went on a date. With a guy from my A4A account which I deleted. I told him that I was gonna delete that account because it's not the type of men I want in my life anymore. At first he wanted me to go to his place get on all fours while he shoved his cock up my asshole. I was like no I'm not gonna do that. I said I wanted more than just a fuck&flee. If you want a chance to get a taste of these sweet buttermilk biscuits we need to go on a date( yeah I pulled the bitch card) He agreed. When he picked me up I saw him at the gate and he was way bigger in person. He looked like a hairy John Goodman with a bald head. I was like Ahhh! I wanted to run back in my house and slam the door. Totally not my type. I wouldn't want to take this guy to the club. Or tell anybody that he was my man. My first intention was to get rid of him.Yet I took the high road. I went out on a date with him. I noticed things about him as we talked like he has really nice teeth and eyes. he does go to the gym. In a funny way he was kinda cute. During the night our conversation was really good, he made me laugh. Which few people do. Was very easy to talk to. Smart, and a pretty impressive career. The date was really romantic. The kiss was a sweet one. I wasn't expecting to like him a first but date was so good I think I could go for another one. yet on the surface we don't have very much in common.Yet he's kinda turning me on. Not sure if it's because I really like him or just because I'm hungry for man meat because I haven't eaten in a bit?

    So my question is can you fall for someone your not sexual attracted too? Or have you ever fell for a beast?


    lmao hahahahahahaha i love this
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    Jul 03, 2011 10:07 PM GMT
    silkrock said

    ....All this exercise and dieting I do. I can't just watch somebody sit and eat twinkles and be my man. I'm not taking that....

    So I'm just taken back. What if I run into my friends with this guy. They are gonna laugh at me. He look like winnie the pooh with that red polo he had on last night when I first saw him.


    Wow, so now I'm wondering if you're a troll. But just in case you're not, and since you asked:
    1. If you're with a guy you genuinely like, and your friends laugh at you because of how he looks, you need new friends. Real ones. Maybe you can use your relocation as a perfect opportunity to find a new crowd.

    2. If you're preoccupied with what your friends think of you, so much so that you would potentially discount a great match, then perhaps you are not yet ready for a meaningful love relationship. I'm not saying this to be an ass, but it might be worth examining before you end up breaking someone's heart or having your own broken when you realize what you've given up in life just for the sake of the shallow approval of the Greek chorus.

    It sounds like you're looking for more substance in your life and less shadow - it's a tough journey and I wish you luck in it.
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    Jul 03, 2011 10:17 PM GMT
    silkrock said

    So my question is can you fall for someone your not sexual attracted too? Or have you ever fell for a beast?


    I have heard people say you can, but I highly doubt it.
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    Jul 03, 2011 10:57 PM GMT
    MadeNUSA said
    silkrock said

    So my question is can you fall for someone your not sexual attracted too? Or have you ever fell for a beast?


    I have heard people say you can, but I highly doubt it.


    I believe there is a tolerance range of what each individual can accept. Plus the willingness with an open mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    Ha, this happens to me so often that I don't think I have a type anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm attracted to a certain personality type rather than a body type.
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    Jul 03, 2011 11:15 PM GMT
    Wtf is wrong with people being so prejudiced against bald men. Seeing a full head of hair on a beautiful face almost makes me feel like he's underaged or a hot lesbian.

    Not everyone, just my stereotype and antithetical jealousy for being bald myself.
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    Jul 03, 2011 11:31 PM GMT
    silkrock said What if I run into my friends with this guy. They are gonna laugh at me. He look like winnie the pooh with that red polo he had on last night when I first saw him....
    {but}
    I'm gonna go on a second date

    This is wrong on so many levels.
    Would you go out with someone if you found out he was dodging his friends to avoid the embarrassment of being seen with you?
    Would you want to date someone who was so baffled by his attraction to you that he posted about it on a public forum?
    Of course not. We all want to be respected and valued for what we have to offer. Let him go find someone who appreciates him for what he is.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2603

    Jul 03, 2011 11:46 PM GMT
    I`ve fallen more than once for guys not my type(short-5'7" or less-smooth,effeminate) so I think we shouldn`t be too much taken with looks(even though I am.)icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 03, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    What makes a beautiful couple is how they make each other happy..I think its really time to stop trying to look like two Ken dolls and figure out what you really want in a man..although, I have my tastes in men . It doesnt make me close minded to the opportunity that I can fall for someone different then what I fantasize about!

    I 'd rather a not so attractive guy to make me happy then a real hot one who will make me miserable.( so often the case)
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    Jul 04, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    I don't think it's fair for him if you're actually embarrassed of how he looks.
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    Jul 04, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    topic: All my hopes rely on this being true.
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    Jul 04, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    I really don't know what to do. I am changing and he does respect me. So I'll go there and see if the sex is any good. Because I'm tired of lousy ass men and lousy ass sex. I'm a very forward person but I can see good in alot of things and alot of people. Maybe he can change my mind. When I was with him I really didn't worry about his appearance. I just enjoyed my time with him.

    Why am I the bad guy for taking a chance?
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    Jul 04, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    My ex was someone I didnt think I'd date. It was mainly his weight that made me think I'd never date him