Alone on my Birthday....again

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    Jul 05, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    I realize that this thread sounds like a "please pity me" party, which will lead most folks to conclude "no wonder he is alone." I turned 29 today and wonder, am I one of those guys who is destined to always be alone? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, even friendships. People always say join local groups that you are interested in to find people with common interests. I have, but still cannot find people who are interested in friending me and vice versa. For example, I like running and have joined a local running club. The problem is, most of the people who are in the club are married, have kids, and live in the burbs. Younger single types in my town are not into running groups or other things that interest me.

    Oh well, not sure what I wanted to get out of this thread, but thought it better to vent out my frustrations. Not sure if I should go as far as to buy a cupcake and a candle....that would make me pathetic ;)
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    Jul 05, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    faceless saidI realize that this thread sounds like a "please pity me" party, which will lead most folks to conclude "no wonder he is alone." I turned 29 today and wonder, am I one of those guys who is destined to always be alone? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, even friendships. People always say join local groups that you are interested in to find people with common interests. I have, but still cannot find people who are interested in friending me and vice versa. For example, I like running and have joined a local running club. The problem is, most of the people who are in the club are married, have kids, and live in the burbs. Younger single types in my town are not into running groups or other things that interest me.

    Oh well, not sure what I wanted to get out of this thread, but thought it better to vent out my frustrations. Not sure if I should go as far as to buy a cupcake and a candle....that would make me pathetic ;)


    What? You're cute as hell why the hell are you alone?
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    Jul 05, 2011 2:32 PM GMT


    Well Happy Birthday!

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    Jul 05, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    Happy Birthday, faceless-no-more.

    29 was the last birthday I celebrated with a party at my place. After that I just let them slip by and for the big ones I left the country.

    As for being alone. Keep at it with the running club etc. and if nothing happens suggest group outtings to watch a movie together, or go have dinner at a restarant
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Jul 05, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    First off, happy birthday! Too bad you're not nearby here in Orlando..we'd take over to Disney World, wear one of those pins where everyone and their dog wishes you a terrific day.

    And you get free stuff.

    Totally makes your day special.

    But since you're not close-by, hang in there.

    Remember, tho, you're never truly alone. I've never, ever believe that.

    Peace,
    Bardy

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    Jul 05, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    happy birthday

    some insights:

    i have odd hobbies.....no one really shares them hardly

    i'm not really a bear, but i have friends who socialize in bear groups. bears aren't really my ideal type, but it's a very nice laid back crew and i get my socialization fix.

    if i waited for the perfect friends to find me, i'd die always alone. i just explore things and make friends along the way.

    one thing i find is that people always want to talk about themselves, so you can make friends easily by being a listener...that doesn't mean you want to keep those friends, but it does work well to meet people.

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    Jul 05, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    Yo, faceless, try meetup.com and go mingle.
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    Jul 05, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    Become an alcoholic! You're bound to make a few friends. icon_twisted.gif
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    arent you the guy who is living in the closet? If so, that might have something to do with it.
    If not, then I dont know. There is no reason you should be alone unless you are doing it to yourself as some sort of "punishment" for being gay.
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    Hey, happy birthday. You'll do OK. Break out of your comfort zone, regardless of what it is and do some things that you would normally not even consider. Maybe it will open up a whole new world with some fresh new faces.
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    Happy 29th Faceless!!

    You're too cute to be alone. Just live your life involved in things you like to do. You will naturally meet guys along the way... friends and more. Great things happen when least expected.
  • havingfunmtl9...

    Posts: 258

    Jul 05, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    Reframe ! It isn't another birthday alone, it is another spectacular year of opportunities to put yourself out there and meet new people ! Take it as an opportunity and move forward icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:11 PM GMT
    OP, I will share with you my 35th birthday. It was one of those rare times your birthday falls on a saturday. So, I wait around for someone to ask me to do something. Nothing. All my friends were busy. I thought "yeah, ALL of them?" there must be a surprise party in the works. By 9pm, I figured there wasnt one.

    So, I got dressed and went to a club by myself. A guy came up to me at one point, and i recognized him as one of the gym trolls who only goes to the gym to jerk off in the sauna. He said he recognized me from there and asked why I never got with him in the sauna. Ugh.

    So after a while I went out on the dance floor. I was dancing and two asian guys called me fat.

    So buck up birthday boy! I am sure your 30th will be so good you wont remember it!
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:23 PM GMT
    I'll be your friend!
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    Oh...your friends were saving their energy to make the RIP tombstone cake for your 30th!

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    Jul 05, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    another perspective:

    a friend of mine had been really depressed about a breakup.....we'd been hanging out and being social. he liked my images of mma fights. so i had a custom card and postcards printed for him and put together a nice gift bag of other small items as a surprize for his birthday, because even if you can buy everything you want, it's nice to have other people notice the things you like, etc......and to have the tactile experience of opening something....

    anyway, that was mid May...apparently, he got over being depressed and was too busy.....too busy....too busy....eventually, it became clear i had served my purpose as a foul-weather friend....no harm no foul......i mailed just the card and gave the other items away....

    my point? there may be people right next to you that you are not tuning in on....

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    Jul 05, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    first off, happy Birthday. Second, itll happen, give it time,im 37 and still single but i know my time is comign and you have to foster that mentality too.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 05, 2011 4:01 PM GMT
    Best wishes for a great birthday, Faceless! Well lots to consider, but just remember.. even alone, you can have a successful birthday.. I've had a couple of them. Do something special for you .. that you woudn't do on any regular day. Buy you something you've wanted or go out to eat or take a drive... explore something kind of special. Do something that is significant to you.

    I do think you need to find some activities in which you hold interest and whose members are younger guys. It may take some time, but I don't think you should give up on it.
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    Jul 05, 2011 4:14 PM GMT
    Move to CA. I'll be your running buddy. icon_wink.gif

    And happy birthday!
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    Jul 05, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    Your beautiful smile will open the doors to , romance , friendship and more . Don't be afraid to use it as a tool , to break the ice around you .
    Happy birthday mate ,
    Hugs ,
    Affen
  • patmos9990

    Posts: 146

    Jul 05, 2011 4:25 PM GMT
    Happy Birthday. We're both in Dallas so when you see me online one night this week I'll take you to Yummilicious for birthday yogurt.
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    Jul 05, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidOP, I will share with you my 35th birthday. It was one of those rare times your birthday falls on a saturday. So, I wait around for someone to ask me to do something. Nothing. All my friends were busy. I thought "yeah, ALL of them?" there must be a surprise party in the works. By 9pm, I figured there wasnt one.

    So, I got dressed and went to a club by myself. A guy came up to me at one point, and i recognized him as one of the gym trolls who only goes to the gym to jerk off in the sauna. He said he recognized me from there and asked why I never got with him in the sauna. Ugh.

    So after a while I went out on the dance floor. I was dancing and two asian guys called me fat.

    So buck up birthday boy! I am sure your 30th will be so good you wont remember it!


    I thought I was getting a surprise party recently but the only surprise was I wasn't gettin' shit icon_lol.gif!

    In all honesty I really don't expect much from people. If I want to have a party, I plan it and I get people excited about it.

    To the OP, people are fickle. If you are shy or introverted it's hard, but you have to be the cruise director and plan things and get people on board. Genuine frienships take time and are built on shared experiences. You have to go out and do things together. Don't wait for them to come to you.
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    Jul 05, 2011 4:39 PM GMT
    and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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    Jul 05, 2011 5:04 PM GMT
    Yep a BIG Happy Birthday to you! When you least expect it...someone will find you :-) cheers bud!