Has this ever happened to you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    Okay so my boyfriend just left my place and I won't be seeing him for about three weeks because I'm going away to visit family halfway around the world. I was really hoping that we could have some good sex together seeing that we wouldn't be with each other for awhile. The whole two days we've spent together I've tried to kiss and cuddle and all that stuff and he's been basically unreceptive. Finally this morning he told me "I just haven't been horny," and of course the first thing I think is that he doesn't love me anymore or find me attractive. I told him that I was really going to miss him and he said "Oh don't worry you'll be busy and your trip will go by fast." He wouldn't even make out with me before he left, just a "granny kiss" because he said "I might be seeing you again before you go," which is probably not going to happen because of this week's schedule. I did get him to say "I'm gonna miss you too," which is a lot for him. He's not the type that talks about his feelings AT ALL.

    The one consolation that I have is that the last time he initiated sex was just a few weeks ago, so it's proof that he still feels something for me.

    Regardless, it's very frustrating. icon_sad.gif I can't help but feel paranoid. And he's not the type that's open to communication, which makes things more complicated at least for me.

    So now here I am, alone and obviously horny. Am I asking too much to have sex with him when he doesn't want to? Shouldn't he have humored me just a little? He has a lot of changes going on in his life right now, which is true, but I find myself using that excuse for him more and more. We all have things on our mind, right?

    Maybe going away will be good for me because it will surely be a distraction. I have been obsessing over my relationship a lot lately and I know that's not good.
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    Jul 05, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    A few weeks ago?? And that's your proof he still feels something for you? I like to have sex every day. Every day.

    You're still with him and obsess over him cuz....why?
  • patmos9990

    Posts: 146

    Jul 05, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    I had the same thing happen and sorry to say it was towards the ending of the relationship.
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    Jul 05, 2011 8:17 PM GMT
    I feel like you are dating my ex....icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 05, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    patmos9990 saidI had the same thing happen and sorry to say it was towards the ending of the relationship.


    I wouldn't jump the gun and say the relationship is over. The OP doesn't give a whole lot of information. Is it a new relationship? It could be just be a rough patch.

    Have you been away from your bf before? I travel a good bit for work and the first time I left it was hard for my bf to handle it. He became distant and maybe even a little pissed that I was going off on this adventure without him. Maybe that's why he's withholding his affection from you. It's a normal response. It's not the mature thing to do, but you have to talk your way through it.
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    Jul 05, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    Mighty_Q saidA few weeks ago?? And that's your proof he still feels something for you? I like to have sex every day. Every day.


    As a highly undersexed married dude, I completely hate you. Or I'm jealous. But you're still a bastard.
  • islander24

    Posts: 161

    Jul 05, 2011 11:49 PM GMT
    Offering a slightly different thought .

    When sailors ship out for an overseas tour, husbands and wives almost kill each other to lessen the pain of separation..

    I know the logic stinks, but its human nature.

    If I thought I was going to miss someone for weeks I'd have pounded you good to remember what I was missing.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 07, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for replies. I guess one of the problems I have with my relationship is that I might be expecting too much of my boyfriend. If only I could just be happy with things are they are, instead of constantly wishing things were better.

    This is the first time that my boyfriend and I will not be a simple phone call away. While we have gone about three weeks without seeing each other before, we would always talk to each other each night. This time, because of the time zone difference and the fact that I will not have constant access to a phone, I expect to talk to him only a few times a week.

    I can understand that he might be feeling a little resentful that I'm going away for almost three weeks. I guess if I were in his position I wouldn't exactly be ecstatic that my boyfriend was going far away and not taking me with him. Luckily, my boyfriend had no interest in traveling with me on this trip because the distance is too far---plus, I'm visiting family so it's not exactly going to be a vacation, haha.

    It's hard dating a guy who doesn't talk about his feelings often though.