Gays forced to marry a girl

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 4:12 PM GMT
    In India I see so many gay men wanting to marry lesbians coz of family pressure. but still there are straight girls who dont want to marry and dont want to have sex. who are also being pressurized continuously by parents/society to get married. i have many such friends who would rather prefer to marry a gay man than a straight man for the same reasons a gay man wanting to marry a lesbian girl. are there such gay people who would be willing to go for such relationship?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    starfish saidIn India I see so many gay men wanting to marry lesbians coz of family pressure. but still there are straight girls who dont want to marry and dont want to have sex. who are also being pressurized continuously by parents/society to get married. i have many such friends who would rather prefer to marry a gay man than a straight man for the same reasons a gay man wanting to marry a lesbian girl. are there such gay people who would be willing to go for such relationship?



    The close family unit in cultures such as the Indian culture(and most of the world) is a good thing but it can also be a bad thing when people are forced to live lives they don't want because of familial pressure. Thank God that kind of backward thinking is on the fast decline in the U.S. culture where individualism is much more important. I couldn't think of a worse hell than being forced into a loveless marriage. Especially to someone I wasn't even sexually attracted to. Why parents would want to do that to their children is beyond me. That's not love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    I would NEVER marry a girl...ever.... It would be total injustice to both of us if i were forced to marry
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 6:08 PM GMT
    Although I find the idea of being disingenuous to be detestable, I am considering marrying a lesbian. I have yet to tell my parents of my homosexuality, and already, at 25, they are pressuring me to find a girl. The idea turns my stomach, but every time I think I'm ready to come clean about who I am, I get terrified.

    A marriage to an attractive lesbian is my ultimate ideal, and one which I will pursue once I get my career off the ground. Of course, wed sign a prenuptual agreement and file taxes separately. It would be awesome if she lived/worked in another state so we didn't have to live together.

    Drastic this may sound, I'm just not comfortable living as an out gay man in a homophobic society. I'm already black, and as far as I'm concerned, that's enough.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 6:15 PM GMT
    Me and my lesbian friend always say that we will get married, take all the money from the wedding and leave the country together. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 6:49 PM GMT
    when my parents were against me, I came out to my extended family in India in person and they totally supported me and then asked me what 'gay' meant, I totally dint expect a supportive response, I guess my childhood bond was strong enough they got super protective of me even from my own parents, If anything I think India also has the advantage of rapid social progression in every generation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 6:50 PM GMT
    Thank goodness for countries like Switzerland, England, Australia, Canada, and even America were such things are nothing than a state of mind. because life will go on if you don't pretend to be straight, and get married just to please others; thank god for our freedom to be me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 6:58 PM GMT
    My choice would be suicide. There are some things a gay just can not do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    I was kinda forced into marriage by my parents, when I was 29. They berated and berated me about giving them a grandchild. What I didn't know was that they already HAD a grandchild, from my younger sister, born out of wedlock and given up for adoption at our Mother's order, legal because my sister was a few months shy of 18, when I was away in the Army. My sister didn't tell me this until we were both in our 40s. She doesn't know what became of him.

    So I was pressured into getting married, a total disaster. And after my divorce my parents pressured me again, threatening to withhold their money (I couldn't live on an Army Major's pay) if I didn't marry again and give them grandchildren. I did remarry, and gave them 2 grandsons.

    Ironically, I never saw the money. My Mother died first, who had the greater fortune, and my Father proceeded to gamble her money and his away, at Vegas and racetracks, and give it to his mistresses. Millions squandered, and my sister & I ended up with a few hundred thousand each, the family fortune gone.

    So today I'm poor. Having married when I shouldn't have, doing what I was told as the good soldier I am, and ending in poverty. At least I've had a couple of great gay partners, one deceased and the other still with me. Thank gawd I'm no longer in a position where anyone can force me to marry a girl.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 7:47 PM GMT
    i have a friend who doesn't want to get married and more importantly doesn't want to have sexual relationship. I gave her the idea to marry a decent gay man. it is as good as living with a friend and having the liberty to live their own lives too. do you think any gay man would be interested in such a proposal?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 8:10 PM GMT
    starfish saidi have a friend who doesn't want to get married and more importantly doesn't want to have sexual relationship. I gave her the idea to marry a decent gay man. it is as good as living with a friend and having the liberty to live their own lives too. do you think any gay man would be interested in such a proposal?


    I've manage to stumble across such gay guys. They are married so the "spouse" can stay in this country (USA).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    My family's culture is highly influenced by Indian culture and I can definitely say that the family unit is VERY important. This can obviously be a good thing, but it can be very limiting. It is why I am so afraid to come out to my family.

    The day my family tells me that I have to get a girl or that I have to marry a girl or that I have do any such thing, I'm going to fucking destroy them.

    I always get scared when I think about coming out to my family, but I will. My aim is that I do it before I'm 25. The only problem now is that I cannot really support myself after my family decides to throw me out. icon_rolleyes.gif Hopefully that changes in 5 years...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    My parents know that I'm in no position to get married so no pressure on me...for now....icon_confused.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidIronically, I never saw the money . . . . . . Millions squandered, and my sister & I ended up with a few hundred thousand each, the family fortune gone . . . . . . . So today I'm poor.
    Believe me, you are not poor in any sense of the word. You provide posts with some of the best insights and empathy for the plights of others. That's rich to me. I am tickled that you consider yourself poor for only receiving a few hundred thousand. We should all become as wise as you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 05, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    When I came out to my sisters she actually suggested this to having not to come out to my parents but its something I wouldn't want to do. Not to me not to me parents, to keep lying for the rest of our lives. Am glad that my sisters are way easy going and acceptable than most Indian families and thus it was much easier for me to come out to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 06, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    Can anyone be forced to marry someone? Caving to pressure isn't forcing.

    I say fuck the parents. If they don't care about their kids happiness, leave them behind. You don't get to pick your family and sometimes there is no love there. There's no reason to stick to them out of some kind of twisted obligation when they're mistreating you.