Homophobic Coworkers

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2011 7:08 AM GMT
    ok, i know there is the thread on people at the gym, but this one got me today. I have been lucky enough to only really been targeted for bigotry once before, and that was by my mother. most people dont know i like guys until I say something.

    let me set up the situation, I am a laid back guy but a complete open book. I dont try to hide anything really, but im not broadcasting it either. Today at my job, a coworker and i were talking about this guy i might be interested in and another kind of caught on and asked "are you gay?!?!!?"

    of coarse i answered him, bc why the hell not? he asked. He is now stating he doesnt think he wants to work there anymore. What the hell? I work with this dude daily, and one small word changes it all. kinda steams me.

    anyone else get this from coworkers or anything?
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    Jul 08, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    I am a very laid back guy as well. Last year I had a summer job and a bunch of guys were talking about girls that they found attractive, but I decided to get back to my work and not join in on the conversation. That's when one of the guys turned around and asked "are you gay or something"? At first I thought he was joking, but when I turned around and saw his face I could instantly feel the hatred he had towards gay people.

    I said no because I'm closeted and things went back to normal after that. It sounds like such a small thing, yet this moment always comes in my head whenever I try to muster of the courage to come out...
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    Jul 08, 2011 7:38 AM GMT
    snype133 saidI am a very laid back guy as well. Last year I had a summer job and a bunch of guys were talking about girls that they found attractive, but I decided to get back to my work and not join in on the conversation. That's when one of the guys turned around and asked "are you gay or something"? At first I thought he was joking, but when I turned around and saw his face I could instantly feel the hatred he had towards gay people.

    I said no because I'm closeted and things went back to normal after that. It sounds like such a small thing, yet this moment always comes in my head whenever I try to muster of the courage to come out...


    To be honest, i really havent met all that many people that care one way or the other, except at protests. the only part that was bad about my coming out was my mother, but things are patched now.
  • josh559

    Posts: 1

    Jul 08, 2011 11:31 AM GMT
    Yes! I know exactly how you feel!, my co worker actually started to notice that I was into guys before I came out so he gossiped to the rest of the crew that I was gay and when they told me if I was I told yes. So after a while he would always try to as far as possible from me! and eventually he quit and transfer to a different place! Talk about the biggest homophobic ever!
  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Jul 08, 2011 11:48 AM GMT
    I wouldn't care less. Just ignore him.
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    Jul 08, 2011 11:51 AM GMT
    i know i should, but its still a painful thing when someone who you thought was at least a friend cant accept you anymore because of a label. not only that but want to move out of town because of it.
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    Jul 08, 2011 12:04 PM GMT
    I think people get confused with the term friend versus acquaintance a lot.

    Just because I work with someone doesn't mean they need to be my friend. I'd actually most of the time prefer that they not be.

    I love meeting homophobic people, but I think that depends on demographics. I fortunately live in one of the most liberal areas in the Midwest. Exhibiting or displaying homophobia here would be like committing social suicide.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 08, 2011 12:08 PM GMT
    stone66 saidok, i know there is the thread on people at the gym, but this one got me today. I have been lucky enough to only really been targeted for bigotry once before, and that was by my mother. most people dont know i like guys until I say something.

    let me set up the situation, I am a laid back guy but a complete open book. I dont try to hide anything really, but im not broadcasting it either. Today at my job, a coworker and i were talking about this guy i might be interested in and another kind of caught on and asked "are you gay?!?!!?"

    of coarse i answered him, bc why the hell not? he asked. He is now stating he doesnt think he wants to work there anymore. What the hell? I work with this dude daily, and one small word changes it all. kinda steams me.

    anyone else get this from coworkers or anything?


    It's his choice, of course, but I'd tell him he may want to consider not leaving his house at all. There are gay people everywhere. He's worn clothing gay people have touched and sold to him. He's eaten food gay people have made and served to him. He's received medical care from a gay person.
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    Jul 08, 2011 12:09 PM GMT
    this place is surrounded by small towns, so i dont even know why im surprised. at a retail store though, i tend to try and make as many friends as possible, and i do mean hanging out outside of work. this just caught me off-gaurd i guess
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    Jul 08, 2011 12:11 PM GMT
    being at uni its very funny in UK, you get all the jocks like football players, rugby players so on so on, doing weird stuff like running around naked, doing stunts while naked, and there is always the shower room stuff like slapping asses etc, yet i have met other people that are very NO NO NO, against even getting naked in the changing room as its apparently wrong, yet these type of guys are not in any sports teams, i have since stopped hanging around these type people as i just pisses you of, they even resorted to saying gays should be banned , shouldnt play sport, they are weak useless and non human, you can see why ive stopped hanging around the dick head

    my longest post ever haha
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Jul 08, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    Level one, you never have to come out to someone, basically, but I'm glad you did. You basically told him that being gay is not something to be ashamed of.

    Level two, is this guy a friend or anything, like delta mentioned? I mean, you should only worry if this was a person you defined as a "friend." Sounds like this gent isn't a friend.

    Level three? So he leaves. That's his call. Good luck to him finding a spot where there are no gays around.

    But you? Keep at it. What can we do to support and applaud your courage?

    Peace out,
    Bardy

  • Jul 08, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    Just let him leave. It is his problem, not yours~