in that case, of coarse its me, but im asking if anyone else has that problem. im not saying its the other guy's fault. just wondering if anyone has insight into why its harder to talk to gay guys than it is straight guys. seems it should be the opposite
I go through this too.
I think the above posters cover a lot of it, but just to agree and my two cents:
Of course gay guys are harder to deal with. Adding in a sexual element, even if it's only possible/theoretical, changes things, deep in our lizard brains if nowhere else. Making a new friend involves risk: putting yourself out there, finding common ground, subjecting yourself to rejection and judgment, etc. Add in "Does this person want to sleep with me / do I want to sleep with him", even if you're not consciously thinking that, changes one's demeanor. It's... perfectly natural, really.
It's not really bad or good; it just is. A sexual element to a meeting, even if off the radar, changes how we feel and act, even if we don't want anything sexual out of the friendship. Add that to the fact that a lot of us (based on the RJ posts I've seen) struggle to make friends or find gay guys we "fit" with, and the stakes from a simple "Hey, nice to meet ya" conversation feel a lot higher. Being nervous, etc. is an understandable reaction to that.