Some objective opinion/advice please?

  • erotochub

    Posts: 6

    Jul 09, 2011 12:41 AM GMT
    So I came across this guy (let's call him Jason) on Grindr about a month ago on a Monday. Through chatting over Grindr, I knew he was visiting for work and would be staying for a week. He also mentioned he lost his wallet and stuff. I suggested that maybe we could go for a dinner or a drink, which we did. Over dinner, he shared with me that he maybe relocating to my town. After dinner we went back to his hotel room and we made out (no sex), exchanged contact information, and suggested another get together on Friday before he took off on Saturday.

    Friday came, and we went for dinner. It was a typical first date kinda thing where we exchanged information about ourselves. We talked about our families and stuff. I drove him back to the hotel and he was like "I hope you are not upset that we are not having sex". And I was like "It's ok, I don't want to do hook up. I want to get to know you better."And he seemingly agreed that we were on the same page. I dropped him off at the hotel and we shared some kisses.

    We continued to text each other back and forth. Just to say hi and keep the flow going. Since he told me he was going to be visiting again last week, we have been texting to each other that we looked forward to seeing each other. Last week came, and he did not get in touch which I expected him to. I texted him Monday checking in with him, and he responded saying it had been a busy day. I asked him if he would like to get together, and he responded back the next day saying that he would keep me posted as work was really busy. He addressed me with an affectionate "handsome".

    No contact then despite I checked in with him once on Wednesday. On Thursday night he texted me saying that the week went by and he was sorry that he did not get a chance to connect. I responded telling him its ok, maybe the next time he is here. No response. I tried my last attempt the next Monday saying hello. No response.

    What do you guys think? For the record, I am 34, and he is 36.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    Don't text him again. If he texts, fine. But he sounds like a flake, or he has other stuff going on. Just move on, and if he pops up again, tread lightly.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2603

    Jul 10, 2011 12:27 AM GMT
    It all reads rather familiar to me.I think you should probably forget about him and move on.Sounds like he has other things going on in his life(work?).Sadly,you`re well down on his list of priorities.He`s had plenty of chances to contact/be with you.
    If he continues to contact you,go carefully,don`t expect much from him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    He's just another unavailable guy. Aren't most guys on Grindr?

    Could be-
    work
    relationship
    drugs

    I'm not sure why you bring the wallet issue up? It must've been important.

    Who loses their wallet and goes on a date?
  • erotochub

    Posts: 6

    Jul 10, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    I brought it up because I now feel like I was only used to provide him two free meals. I honestly do not mind at all buying friends or whatnot dinners, and if the person is a potential, sure why not?

    What bummed me was despite of his claim of being busy at work, he managed to advertise he is ISO NSA. With a full understanding that we just met and I had no place in even caring about it, it showed me his priorities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:50 AM GMT
    Lesson learned and now you knowicon_smile.gif

    -NSA should set a standard in your mind of "Fuck before Food"
    -Maybe a gay relationship doesn't have to involve sex.
  • cageym

    Posts: 99

    Jul 10, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    I can't believe that if he's in town for work they aren't popping for his dinners, wallet lost or no. I agree with the advice to NOT initiate further contact. He's an adult and ought to know how.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    erotochub saidI brought it up because I now feel like I was only used to provide him two free meals. I honestly do not mind at all buying friends or whatnot dinners, and if the person is a potential, sure why not?



    Exactly. You did fine, I think.

    That he has exited (and he has) is no reflection on you, considering what I just quoted above. What you did was good stuff. Like often attracts like so be patient, lol. You are, after all, available again.

    -Doug
  • erotochub

    Posts: 6

    Jul 10, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    He claimed to have lost the credit cards along with the wallet, and one would think the company would have given him some petty cash in such cases, but I choose to look past that at the moment, being stupid or not. Plus as I said, I have no problem buying. It was a nice thing to do and it did not feel wrong at the moment.

    What annoyed me was our ongoing contact after he left town, and when he came back last week he seemingly showed no interest in getting together despite of the shared enthusiasm to do so as communicated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    " and when he came back last week he seemingly showed no interest in getting together despite of the shared enthusiasm to do so as communicated."


    Did you tell him you were were still wanting to get together when he came back and it seemed he had no interest? It would be the only way to know for sure, I think.


  • erotochub

    Posts: 6

    Jul 10, 2011 5:26 AM GMT
    Yes I did. I explicitly said i really hope to connect before he left town.
  • ineedausernam...

    Posts: 118

    Jul 10, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    Sounds like he either lost interest and just doesn't know how to be upfront about it, he has something really shady going on, or he's just a flaky person. I wouldn't text him again and if he reaches out to you see where it goes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2011 6:24 AM GMT
    flake
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jul 10, 2011 7:12 AM GMT
    People fall in and out of love all the time. Sometimes the out comes even before the sex. If there's no communication, there's no way to work it out. As nice as he seemed, this little mess is the tip of the iceburg. Being his boyfriend would be a nightmare, especially when his wife finds out about it!
  • erotochub

    Posts: 6

    Oct 03, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    I guess I should give this an update. I happened to see him again on Grindr earlier this afternoon. He is apparently relocated to my town already. And his profile said "Partnered".

    The ridiculous part was, merely 2 hours later when I went on Grindr and saw his profile again. The relationship status was gone.

    I am so over it
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Oct 04, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    I feel on this one...Im kind of in a similiar situation.....the person I just met(hes actually just a friend to be honest) has been non responsive to my texts and calls the last week...it does bother me.....

    I think he is busy with stuff to be honest orrr hes just not into me r getting to know me more and it really hurts....i cant believe their are so many Flakey Gay men out there...its crazy....I think they will be very lonely in their life
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    erotochub saidI am so over it
    So, a free dinner scam? It's not so inconceivable. Hey, at least you had a pleasant dinner!