Guilt over not having kids?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    Just curious, anyone out there dealing with the internal struggle of the guilt of not giving your parents grandkids, or just guilty at the fact of not having your own kids and giving the gift of life?
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    Jul 09, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    Nope.

    Are you an only child?
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    Jul 09, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    Oh god no. No kids for me, ever, yay icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    Our species faces a bigger problem of over-population than it does any risk of going extinct. You're doing the rest of the planet a favor by not making more humans. Have you thought about adoption instead? There are plenty of kids that need a home.
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    Jul 09, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    I dealt with this in my early 30's once.
    I was out Christmas shopping and saw a young Dad about my age with his young son that was around 6 or 7. It ripped my heart out.. when I got to the bottom of the escalator, I had to go sit down and process what was going through my head.
    It was that split second on the escalator that I knew, it was over. I was never going to have any kids of my own and something felt very empty inside. Took me about 10 yr's to finally let that go. All better now though and the whole.. I wanna kid thing is past tence.
    How's that for a dose of honesty...icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    Sometimes... esp. now that many of my college buddies have kids.
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    Jul 09, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    No. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces. The family bloodline will live on.
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    Jul 09, 2011 5:17 AM GMT
    Giving the gift of life??? We already have more people than we can take care of on the planet. I don't see how bringing more human bodies here is a gift to anyone. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    Kind of... I'm the last male in the family with our last name (I'm also an only child). The only way to keep it going would be to have kids. I personally couldn't care less about it but my dad and especially my grandfather would probably think differently.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Jul 09, 2011 8:19 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidGiving the gift of life??? We already have more people than we can take care of on the planet. I don't see how bringing more human bodies here is a gift to anyone. icon_rolleyes.gif


    This is why I love you. Okay this isn't really why, but it makes the list...#123 I think. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 8:28 AM GMT
    i want a kid!!
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    Jul 09, 2011 8:31 AM GMT
    Not even a little bit.
    My friends have kids, so I get to be the cool uncle who does fun things with the kids then drop the kids back with their parents.
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    Jul 09, 2011 10:16 AM GMT
    Yeah, then I go pick up my nieces for a day.
    When I drop them back off I thank god I'm gay.
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    Jul 09, 2011 10:25 AM GMT
    sitr7 saidi want a kid!!
    I'll be your kid if you'll be my daddy. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 10:51 AM GMT
    TheGuyInDubai saidI dealt with this in my early 30's once.
    I was out Christmas shopping and saw a young Dad about my age with his young son that was around 6 or 7. It ripped my heart out.. when I got to the bottom of the escalator, I had to go sit down and process what was going through my head.
    It was that split second on the escalator that I knew, it was over. I was never going to have any kids of my own and something felt very empty inside. Took me about 10 yr's to finally let that go. All better now though and the whole.. I wanna kid thing is past tence.
    How's that for a dose of honesty...icon_confused.gif


    Yup, me too.....

    And then you hear about people like Casey Anthony......

    icon_cry.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 10:56 AM GMT
    No guilt about not having kids, but what I do get tired of is when I get together with family and friends. All they do is talk about their kids and grandkids. This really gets boring.
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    Jul 09, 2011 11:41 AM GMT
    vincent7 saidNo guilt about not having kids, but what I do get tired of is when I get together with family and friends. All they do is talk about their kids and grandkids. This really gets boring.
    Those are my sentiments exactly. I have a boss who delights in telling mommy stories about her demon seed [though he really isn't a bad kid]. The preferred response if it wouldn't discontinue the paycheck would be, "Who gives a shit?"
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:25 PM GMT
    I've never had guilt about not having children. I am one of 7 boys... no problem with my parents having grandchildren.

    However, I do regret not having children. It is the only thing I regret in this life. I would have made a great father and when I see men with their young sons or daughters, I feel a bit of pain. But, I'm 50 now and not likely to have my own. So, I've dealt with it and it is not such a big deal now.

    The things I think about are taking the child/ren with me when I go fishing, on his/her first deer hunt, or riding along beside me on his/her own horse, being beside me when I'm working cattle, etc.....

    Anyone here want to adopt himself out? LOL
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Jul 09, 2011 12:51 PM GMT
    We are, at that. I come from an ethnic background. We're accepted as accepted can be. My entire family (!) even went to our wedding, no questions asked. But as soon as it was over, Ma was all over the grandkids thing.

    It's weird. She's not given up her dreams because her son came out of the closet. She find a newspaper article I happened to cut out and put on my corkboard about the "It Gets Better" campaign. It mentions how many kids are thrown out of their homes in nearby Orlando, kids who need role models and caring foster home.

    She jumped all over that.

    Peace,
    Bardy
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    Jul 09, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    NO... I don't want to add to the number of weirdos in my family.
  • conquer

    Posts: 305

    Jul 09, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    i have never wanted kids, i don't think my straight brother does either. my mom will be grandchild-less. she accepts whatever decision either of us makes, she said its our lives not hers.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Jul 09, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    It is the height of hubris to bring life into the world strictly for the sake of doing so, and many straight people do it without a second thought. I decided my genetic line ends here. If whoever my potential partner wants kids, we will discuss it then intelligently, and there are plenty of kids right now that also need to be adopted. Plus, I personally do not want my genetics passed on.

    Then there is the overpopulation problem others have brought up, which is the root problem to many of the crises being faced right now throughout the world economically, politically, and environmentally.
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    Jul 09, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    The world is a harsh, difficult, unforgiving, and unrelenting place. Why would you want to introduce someone new into that environment? I don't want kids for myself. But adoption is always an option.
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    Jul 09, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    I helped my lesbian friends conceive a child. She is a beautiful, blue eyed 25% Mexican, 25% Spaniard and 50% white, quite a bit of blood lines there. They wanted another but I told them no. I told them she has no need for siblings with two wonderful, loving "Mommies"!

    I agree with the human population needing to be culled. I loathe how we spay and neuter animals but let humans run amok. My brother for one has 2 children and is 20, sister has 3 and is 32.
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    Jul 09, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    Not really right now. When I have kids, it has to be because I truly want them - not to please my parents or to follow social convention. Otherwise, it's not really fair to me or the children.

    Perhaps one day with the right person I may want them though.