I experienced my first verbal gay bashing in a long time

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    Jul 09, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    Last Saturday or Friday night I went out with my roommate. Being all happy and giddy and ready to drink we passed by this guy, MIND YOU IN HELLS KITCHEN (trendy gay area) of all places, who nodded at me and said what's up. I said non-chalantly, "you're cute" as I walked by. He suddenly got up and started SCREAMING at the top of his lungs, "YOU FUCKING FAGGOT I'M NOT A FAGGOT YOU FAGGOT" I really couldn't hear any words clearly except for "faggot." I kept walking, feeling completely stunned. He was still shouting as I got to the other avenue far away. It's literally as if I spooked a dog and it kept barking at me until it couldn't see me anymore. Even worse my roommate was like "you can't just hit on guy" and I was like, "THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN I HIT ON GUYS?!?!"

    Anyway, it really set my psyche back a few steps and now I feel like I need to go take some self-defense, kickboxing, or tae kwan something doe classes in order to defend myself of kick the living shit out of someone who does this to me next time. I don't want to feel oppressed. I hate that feeling so much. That's much of the reason why I'm very outspoken. And I don't want to see this happen to any other gay guy, even if they're some obnoxious fag I hate. They don't deserve this shit.

    So anyway, I'm sure this will open a debate as to how you hit on guys. My roommate, who is older and traditional, thinks I can only hit on guys in a gay setting. I on the other hand think I can hit on any guy in the exact same manner a straight guy can hit on a woman. In other words: anywhere. It's a risk of encountering a homophobe like the one from last weekend, but it's a risk I want to take to make life better for the future. If enough gays hit on a homophobe I really don't think he's going to scream "FAGGOT" after a while.

    [EDIT]
    SHORT VERSION:
    If you just entered the thread, there's flame wars ahead mostly revolving around the following:

    1. Whether it's appropriate to hit on straight guys in public
    2. Whether I am at fault for the guys reaction


    [EDIT 2]
    Since there's quite a bit of degenerates who like to point the finger at me for walking away I'd like to mention (as I reiterate countless times throughout the thread to more idiots who can't read what I've already written) I had to walk away as my roommate literally grabbed my ARM and pulled me away saying sternly to me "WALK WALK WALK DON'T TALK NOOOO DON'T LOOK BACK KEEPING WALKING WALK WALK WALK!" I respect my roommate enough to let that homophobe slide just to make my roommate feel happy. Plus I'm his new roommate. I didn't want to insult him on the SECOND night of being his roommate.
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    Jul 09, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    This happened at Hell's Kitchen of all places? WTF?

    No one ganged up on the guy who was yelling on top of his lungs "FAGG*T" ?!?! WTF?#2
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    Jul 09, 2011 5:25 AM GMT
    You and I and more gays need to go out and sweep the streets hitting on guys in a cordial manner, then record the ones who flip out, put them up on YouTube, and collect reparations from the court. Or just beat the shit out of them.
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    Jul 09, 2011 5:52 AM GMT
    JakeBenson saidYou and I and more gays need to go out and sweep the streets hitting on guys in a cordial manner, then record the ones who flip out, put them up on YouTube, and collect reparations from the court.


    Isn't that a little pink-panthers? Haha.

    btw is there gonna be privacy issues if you post it on YouTube? But I guess they decided to react at a public place, so their behavioral response should be considered as public information? Hey Jake, if the YouTube video goes viral we might actually make $$$ out of it!

    Now THAT would be the ultimate payback from the hetero world. Ka-ching! $$$
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    Jul 09, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    cityaznguy said
    btw is there gonna be privacy issues if you post it on YouTube? But I guess they decided to react at a public place, so their behavioral response should be considered as public information?


    Yup, there is nothing private about getting verbal bashed in public.
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    Jul 09, 2011 8:19 AM GMT
    i was actually on youtube the other day searching for "gay guys beating the shit out of straights guys". start recording, people need to know that we dont work out for nothing ;)
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    Jul 09, 2011 8:20 AM GMT
    You're roomate is kinda right. You just can't walk up to or past any guy and tell him that he is cute,A lot of straight guys out there are still pretty homophobic and giving a simple compliment like that freaks them out. That's why when I give a compliment to a straight guy I don't really know that well, I use Handsome instead of cute or I just don't bother at all.

    Why do you think when a straight guy compliments another guy they have to say NO HOMO after that compliment. Well,Not all straight guys are like that lol.



    I think Jake benson is kinda cute, NO HOMO lol
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 9:44 AM GMT
    My straight, ex-roommate went to the Castro once and got hit on, needless to say, by other men. Later on he said he now knows what it feels like for a lesbian to be hit on by a straight man.

    And just recently I read in a blog of a woman on a subway who got her ass swiped by a dude as they were leaving the station; instead of ignoring it or telling him to fuck off, she unconsciously punched him but felt embarrassed oddly. He wasn't hurt but felt surprised as did she.

    I don't hit on total strangers (unless I'm in a bar/party) even if they say hello to me or what have you. I consider it inappropriate, but I'm shy too. icon_redface.gif

    That guy was an insecure douche though. Guess he can't take a compliment, maybe a cock would be better. icon_twisted.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 9:54 AM GMT
    Poor, poor cute straight boy getting hit on in a gayborhood...I wonder how many times he was hit on that day, before he exploded?
    I'm the same...I'll flirt with anyone I want, except drunk red-necks. Not, looking to die changing a tire.
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    Jul 09, 2011 9:59 AM GMT
    Sorry you had to experience that. I really am. But why in the world did you not confront the guy and shut him down?
    If you were "brave", (actually crude), enough to say 'you're cute' to a stranger in public, why not have the where-with-all to confront his verbally violent response?!?

    Something similar happened to me once. (Although I would not respond to a simple "what's up?" with an inappropriate, "you're cute" response.)
    And the guy wound up using the "f" word towards a friend as we walked by. I just got in his face. Luckily he backed down because he probably could have beat the crap out of me from the looks of him.
    But he will think twice before saying it to anyone again.

    When you hear this shit confront it. Don't let anyone get away with that nonsense. icon_mad.gif
    Tristan

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    Jul 09, 2011 10:03 AM GMT
    Keep moving, yell back "Well, now I don't think you're cute anymore", move on.

    Because, seriously, that was so not cute.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 09, 2011 10:06 AM GMT
    The best thing to do when that happens is to start laughing

    .... and I mean side-splitting laughing

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSPNWdMvuyU1Oy3iqI7oX2

    Points out immediately how ridiculous that response was
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    Jul 09, 2011 10:20 AM GMT
    Jake, you shoulda decked him in the face a couple times, bodyslammed him, torn off his shirt, tied his arms and legs with it, and buttraped him in the middle of the street.

    As they say, hindsight is always 20/20. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 11:45 AM GMT
    as a principle I see nothing wrong with hitting on guys outside a gay setting.
    How many here have been hit on by women who didn't know you were gay? same thing, how do I know if a stranger is straight or not?.... Straights just have to accept the possibility that someone of the same sex might flirt with them at some point.... and learn to take it like a compliment.

    if a random guy in the street says "what's up", he's the one who opens up to conversation (or he's just looking for trouble). I thought Jakes response was fun, a bit edgy perhaps, but not totally inappropriate icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidLOL..that was a pretty funny story to read.

    Wake up call ...you're not in WEHO anymore. It is advisable to exercise a bit more caution/discretion when prancing about the streets in edgier cities like NYC.








    True, especially at night...but still....is sad.

    icon_neutral.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 09, 2011 12:17 PM GMT
    The guy was a nutcase. As far as I'm concerned, you didn't do anything wrong, especially if you were in a gay area anyway. Even if you weren't, so what the hell.

    You said he was "cute", you didn't ask him out or asked him for sex.
    If that sets him off, it should be clear he's ungrounded (probably a psycho case).

    Move on from the experience and don't like it spook you from saying the same thing in the future.
  • humblejock

    Posts: 17

    Jul 09, 2011 12:18 PM GMT
    omg, First of all I live in HK. This is just plain ridiculous. I am so sorry!

    2nd!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST of CRAIGSLIST had a story of a guy wanting to form a Gay Gang.... I think you'd qualify... icon_smile.gif Test Below

    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/69493456.html

    "Are you tough? Violent? Rough around the edges? You can't be kept down? Do you think Jennifer Hudson is totally a better diva than Fantasia and you'd kick anyone's ass who disagrees?

    I'm starting up a gay gang! We'll do all the things that tough street gangs do (pick fights, steal wallets, critique b-list actresses on the red carpet) but we'll be comprised of gay men!

    Now this gang isn't fancy-pansy like the ones in West Side Story. Wait, who am I kidding? It's EXACTLY like West Side Story. Only this time, Tony and Chino will have the cajones to actually get together, instead of wasting time on Natalie Wood (whose only good performance was in Rebel Without a Cause there I said it).

    To join you'll have to pass a rigorous test. We can't tell you our gang name or our colors yet (and they change according to the Helmut Lang line), so you'll meet us at an undisclosed location near the Santa Monica pier.

    First, you have to find an unsuspecting straight couple (preferably on a date) and mug them. Take their money, but only grab the wallet or purse if it is Burberry, Fendi, or something comparable. And be sure to mention that you thought [insert whatever the girl was wearing] went out two years ago.

    Second, you have to mastermind a huge drug sale. This will be unbelievably easy, since you'll do it with E in the bathroom of The Abbey.

    Third, you will be forced to get in a fight with one of the other gang hopefuls. The rest of us will be watching as you wrestle around, and you should be sure to tear some clothing and throw in a few light kisses and moans.

    So if you're tough enough, just email me and we can start our gang. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, as long as you are attractive and have a great body."
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:18 PM GMT
    Do not mistake friendliness with flirtiing. I don't think it's good policy to say "you're cute" unless you are prepared for a fight.
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:19 PM GMT
    ^^ LOL wish that was in Texas
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:20 PM GMT
    judoguy saidas a principle I see nothing wrong with hitting on guys outside a gay setting.
    How many here have been hit on by women who didn't know you were gay? same thing, how do I know if a stranger is straight or not?.... Straights just have to accept the possibility that someone of the same sex might flirt with them at some point.... and learn to take it like a compliment.

    if a random guy in the street says "what's up", he's the one who opens up to conversation (or he's just looking for trouble). I thought Jakes response was fun, a bit edgy perhaps, but not totally inappropriate icon_smile.gif


    I agree. The guy was probably looking for trouble, otherwise he would not have said "what's up". I lived in HK for a few years and never had an issue like that. I think you were fine to respond to him in that manner, Especially in that neighborhood. So don't let one dumb f*** bring you down. Keep flirting ;)
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:25 PM GMT
    to add on to what the salty morsel above me just said....

    I dont believe that people should stop an innocent action (i.e. saying "ur cute") because they might get violent.

    why dont we teach people not to get violent and just smile and say "Thanks, im not into guys" instead of telling us not to say something nice.

    Now if jake was to have said "yeah daddy put on a saddle on it and get ready for the ride of ur life" then i can see where he may get mad. but "ur cute?" really? straight guys tell me that all the time, should i explode and say u fucking cunt poker im not a breeder get off my lawn street trash (or something around those lines)
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    I'm not that forward with people, but I also don't tolerate things like exploding behavior. I'd have to tell him it was inappropriate and he needs to get himself in check. Then he might hit me and you know what, if he did it would just strengthen my convictions. Then I'd press charges and the judge would sentence him to anger management* and I'd get my way icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:11 PM GMT
    The best thing to do here was just walk away because starting a fight isn't really worth it unless someone actually attacks you first.

    So you did the right think Jake and I think your so cute icon_redface.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    like I always say to the people on the train at 330 am......the only thing worse than being the faggot is being the guy who got his ass whooped by the faggot icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    For me the worst part of all of this was the fear of getting your ass kicked, bsolutely you should take some self defense classes, it sux that you got bullied, at least I know I can hold my own, we should all look into that sort of thing more seriously, and no we shouldn't have to, but it's might be a very smart thing to do, those kind of people tend to go after the ones they percieve as weak, so give em' the surprise of a lifetime. Or take his mother Dorothy out for a lovely seafood dinner and never call her again!